New meaning to "passing" an ordinance

The greatest part of my new journalism job? No more boring Township Committee, Board of Education, Planning Board and Economic Development Council meetings. But, I must say, if something like this happened, it would have made those 19 months of monotanous meetings totally worth it.

In the middle of a Medina City Council meeting in Ohio last week, the sound of farting sent council members into a giggling fit, so much so they had to take a recess. I don't find this immature as much as I find it relieving that these people don't take their roles as local officials too too seriously.

Not quite sure who the perpetrator is (and it's likely the "fart application" for the iPhone), but that kid in the yellow shirt aptly appears at the same time the flatulance begins. Hmm...

I nose this ain't a good way to die...

Yeah, it's been almost a week since my last update - work is killing me, but hopefully things will calm down soon. Regardless, I'm pretty sure I 'picked' a nugget of story to come back with...

Apparently no one taught Ian Bothwell that picking your nose isn't a good habit to get into. The 63-year-old Manchester man reportedly died 'digging for gold' in his shnoz.

According to a coroner's report, Bothel -who suffered from dementia and alcoholism- died from a nosebleed caused by constant picking. Authorities initially believed the man had fallen and hit his head, but later found his nasal cavity was filled with blood as a result of epistaxis (aka nosebleed).

"There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death."- Manchester coroner Nigel Meadows

I'm writing this one down to threaten my kids with some day. "Hey, little Jimmy - quit picking you're nose or you'll end up dead in a pool of your own nose blood like Ian Bothwell."

Perry's a little more hot than cold right now

Fill in the blank - "I kissed a girl and I ______________."

• A) became Barbie
• B) got suspended
• C) went to hell
• D) liked it
• E) ALL OF THE ABOVE
  

For being known for such a silly song, Katy Perry has made one hot commodity of herself lately. Not only did she kiss a girl and like it, she's somehow managed to get young women in trouble while simultaneously becoming a tangible 'role model' for little girls.

Three girls on the twirler team at a North Texas high school were disciplined for performing to Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" at a recent football pep rally. School administrators apparently found the song to be inappropriate. The girls are suspended for the next two games, but the school's drum line has vowed not to perform without the girls, wearing "No twirlers, no band" stickers in show of support. I'm sure that drum line is just hoping for some twirler-on-twirler action.

In other news, Katy Perry's likeness is being made into a 12-inch doll by Integrity Toys. The dolls is being sold for $49.99, but apparently she's already sold out, so you've gotta get on the waiting list to get your hands on a miniature Perry. The first batch is expected to be shipped in late fall. I can only imagine what sort of compromising positions my new Katy Perry doll will end up in when she, Barbie and Midge have their sleepover party!

And in case you forgot, those who do as Katy Perry does will go to hell. So for those of you keeping score at home, the answer is D.

Mmm, free fatty food...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love free things. You probably do, too. And really, is there anyone on the face of Earth (dieting or not) who doesn't love ice cream? That's why you should probably check out your local Cold Stone Creamery tonight.


The ice cream shoppe is holding it's 7th annual "World's Largest Ice Cream Social" to support the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Throughout September, Cold Stone has and will continue to sell M-A-W wall stars to raise money.

Tonight, from 5-8 p.m., guests will receive a free, 3-ounce serving of either of the store's two new sundaes: Jack's Creation or Emily's Creation, created by two Wish children.

Jack's flavor is marshmallow-based with Oreos, chocolate chips and fudge. Emily's is Nutter Butter-based ice cream with white chocolate chips, KIT KAT bars and yellow cake bits. Sounds good to me!

Click here to find a Cold Stone Creamery near you. You might as well check it out - it's not every day you get the chance to get delicious, overpriced ice cream for free!

Clay is gay - sounds like a nice nursery rhyme?

[Breaking news] Clay Aiken is gay.

...Wait, really?? I'm not trying to make light of this--I just legitimately thought he had come out like, three years ago.

Aiken apparently comes out on on the latest cover of People magazine, holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken. The headline reads, "Yes, I'm Gay," with the quote: "I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things."

The baby's mother is Aiken's friend and record producer Jaymes Foster.

This is nowhere near as shocking --or as devastating-- as finding out in 2006 that Lance Bass was gay. Or is gay. Whatever. You know what I mean.

UPDATE Lindsay Lohan is jumping on the orient(ation) express - she admitted this week that she has in fact been dating friend Samantha Ronson for "a very long time." Another not-so-shocking announcement: The media has been covering this for months, but whatev. Good for them. (Thanks, Dave.)

Oops-skee

Follow me on my train of thought here:

I was looking at pictures from a weekend bar outing my friends and I went on this weekend, and I started thinking about what we used to do for social gatherings before we were old enough to drink: go to the mall, the movies, Friendly's (ew)--hey, whatever happened to going to Chuck-E-Cheese?

The pizza that always looked better on TV than it did in front of you, the person who had to dress up as the rat mascot (I knew someone who had to do that when she worked there in college) and--of course--playing Skee Ball. That game was the shit, right?

I remember one time I got my fingers slammed by a ball that was returning down that slot, but I think that's as far as my Skee Ball injuries extend; the little boy in this video, however, isn't so lucky, and unfortunately for him, he's not getting too much sympathy from the man taking the video.



And either that girl had it in for that cute little kid or she just really sucks at Skee Ball and can't keep it in her lane.

Gimme an O! Gimme an L! Gimme a D!

A mother in Wisconsin has been charged with stealing the identity of her 15-year-old daughter to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad.

Wendy Brown, 33, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.

The woman attended practices with the cheerleading squad, got her own locker and even went to a pool party at the coach's house.

She must have a smoking hot body to pass for a 15-year-old at 33, eh? Don't frown, Wendy - that's something to cheer about!

A school liaison officer started investigating after Brown only attended the first day of classes last week and a $134.50 check Brown wrote to purchase the cheerleading uniform bounced, the complaint said.

An employee at the school said that Brown seemed timid and even cried when she talked about moving from a school in Nevada. She said that while Brown looked older than a student, she behaved like one.

According to a complaint filed against her, Brown wanted to get her high school degree and become a cheerleader because she didn't have a childhood and wanted to regain a part of her life that she'd missed.

The wannabe cheerleader appeared in court Friday. The judge set bond at $8,000. If convicted, Brown could be shaking her pom-poms in prison for up to six years and face a $10,000 fine. She also apparently has a history of identity theft, according to Brown's mother.

D-d-d-did you watch it?

If a glowing piece of the radical rock was something you dreamed of when you were younger, Nickelodeon is giving you another chance to make that dream come true.

"My Family's Got GUTS," a family version of the popular 1990s game show, premiered tonight on Nick. Contestants compete in events similar to the original GUTS, including the basketball "Sky Slam," a football throwing competition and a soccer ball scoring battle.

And of course, we get a glimps of the trademark Aggro Crag - intimidating as ever.

The show will run weeknights at 8 p.m. starting tonight (Monday) until Friday, Sept. 26. The series is comprised of two, 11-episode tournaments, each of which includes an hour-long finale and a half-hour special. This season's finale will air Saturday, Sept. 27 at 8 p.m.

Unfortunately, MFGG took a backseat to tonight's episode of "Gossip Girl" (my crack in television form), but I did manage to catch a few minutes of it during CW commercial breaks...

Props to Nickelodeon for revitalizing one of the greatest shows in the station's history--especially amidst a period of what I consider comparatively lackluster children's programming--but nothing is ever going to live up to the good ole' GUTS days.

This new host, Ben Lyons, can't hold a candle to Michael O'Malley's enthusiasm (and oddly enough Lyons is the new host of the popular critic show "At the Movies"). And Nickelodeon actually had the audacity to bring in a judge with a funny accent who's not Moira Quirk ("Let's go to Mo - MO!").

Maybe I'm just hating a little bit because my family is too old to go on the show now, as is likely the case for most of the original GUTS viewing audience. Watch the clip below. Seriously - how badly did you want to go on this show when you were younger? I remember screaming at the stupid kids who missed an actuator and yelling about how badly I would own them if only I were given the opportunity to try out...



Thanks, Dave!

Don't want these panties in a bunch...

I've written a few entries on crazy eBay auctions, but this one is by far the most wacko: The King of Pop's panties will be up for sale Thursday, according to Page Six.

And they're not just any panties--they're the same unwashed, tighty-whities used as evidence in Wacko Jacko's child molestation case. That's not disgusting at all...

The size-28 Calvin Klein white briefs will be sold at a reserve price of $1 million. The unwashed undies were confiscated in 2003 to obtain a DNA sample, and are part of Jackson artifacts offered by New Jersey businessman Henry Vacarro, who obtained them in a bankruptcy case. The panties come sealed in an evidence bag and wrapped with police tape.

Also being sold are Jackson's handwritten note explaining why he wanted an annulment from Lisa Marie Presley and a used half-ounce tube of skin-bleaching cream--why? I don't know. But you should probably spend your life savings on it.

RELATED LINKS
Like something out of 'Thriller'
Taking it to 'the tart'
Desperately seeking bridesmaid
Baby for sale!
Boobs from a boob
Spears sock stunt stinks

I went to collage!

I may be a stickler for grammar and spelling, but it's my job. It might also be someone's job at this television station to make sure that they don't look like morons during their telecasts. High gas prices may be making kids dumber--according to this report--but what's their excuse?

Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...and a Chupa Chup

If you haven't seen The Dark Knight yet, seriously... what the hell are you waiting for? If you're not planning on seeing it, that's one thing. But if you're just being lazy, you're being inconsiderate because everyone around you is biting their tongues not to ruin the movie by unwittingly discussing this, this or this. [DO NOT CLICK THERE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE!]

If I had kids, I would never take them to see this movie because it was scary as hell. But if I had kids, I would probably make them do the same thing these guys did.

Check out this "mini-interpretation" of The Dark Knight, in trailer form. [No spoilers, no worry!]

The Dark Knight - Kids Edition! (wizarduniverse.com) @ Yahoo! Video

Teenage mutant ninja counselor

A New Jersey school was locked down this week when a ninja was spotted running around outside the building.

Of course, it wasn't a real ninja--A real ninja would have been too stealthy to be spotted, duh

The Barnegat elementary school was shut down from 9 a.m. til about 9:30, riiiight about when administrators realized the bad-ass ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate attire carrying a plastic sword. Easy mistake!

The counselor was reportedly running late for a costume theme day at work.

Now, I've grudgingly written about two separate bomb threats at a middle school in my coverage area (on my deadline day) before, but had one of the local schools was shut down because of a ninja, that would have been another story...and a much more exciting one.

Punched out

Washington state police are investigating a sucker-punch doled out by a Little Leaguer this weekend.

The incident, captured on tape below, occurred following a tournament game in Snohomish County. As the teams were engaging in the post-game shaking hands ritual, one player draws back and straight up socks a player on the opposing team in the face.

The players were not identified and there has been no word yet on what the motivation for the punch was. The victim was taken to the ER and given stitches in his upper lip.

Pretty messed up.

Baby for sale!

A German baby placed up for auction on eBay for the price of bubble gum this week has been taken into custody, police said.

The 7-month-old baby boy was advertised on the site for one euro--or $1.57--with the description: "Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller."

The baby has been placed in custody of child services, though the 23-year-old mother claims that it was all a joke. Neither she nor her 24-year-old husband have been identified.

The ad was up for about 2.5 hours, but no bids were made. Several people who saw the posting called police.

Let the Fraggles play...on the big screen!

I'm glad someone figured out that making horror films about cell phones or more Tyler Perry movies was lame and decided to go back to the basics: classic children's television programming.

As reported by Variety Magazine, The Weinstein Co. intends to turn Jim Henson's brainchild "Fraggle Rock" into a live action musical.

Oh my God. You can't help but get warm fuzzies when you think of this show...and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, then, God, I'm old. But I seriously cannot wait for this.

The good news is that not much about the show will change when it hits the screen: The film will feature a mix of human characters and puppets, and all your fav Fraggles (Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red) are onboard with the project.

There is no solidified plot announced yet, but word has it that the Fraggles will interact outside their home with humans, whom they think are aliens.

And just to celebrate, check out the classic Fraggle Rock intro below. I love Boober at the end--he's my fav.

Thanks, Dave!

Second update: MySpace Murder

Updating an update of a previous item:

The Missouri mother responsible for 13-year-old Megan Meier's suicide and the phony MySpace account that pushed the young girl to do so has been indicted.

Lori Drew, of suburban St. Louis, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles on one count of conspiracy and three counts of unauthorized access of protected computers to obtain information to inflict emotional distress, AP said.

Thank God for justice.

To read more about the case, click here, but the long and short of it is that the mother of one of Megan's former friends created a MySpace account and posed as a teenage boy named "Josh" to see what Megan was saying about her daughter.

The mother, her daughter and another adult had access to the account and corresponded with Megan as Josh for more than a month, until they began harassing Megan, saying that Josh didn't want to be her friend anymore and that the world would be a better place without her.

Megan, who suffered from ADD and depression, hanged herself as a result of the messages.

RELATED LINKS
MySpace Murder
Update: MySpace Murder

He called the Columbine shooters "my gods"

I stumbled upon this article about a 19-year-old Idaho guy who had previously plotted to kill his high school classmates, his mother and his sister...but now he's hoping kids who experience the same thing he did will seek help.

For some reason, this article doesn't really sit well with me. They throw in the "learn from my experience" graph at the end of the story, but for the most part, this article goes through this guy's history of mental illness and the fact that his mother is still afraid of him. And something tells me that exposing his true identity and mental instability on CNN is not going to make his life any easier.

Give it a gander. See what you think.

I appreciate CNN and the mother's attempt to share this story and try to avoid another Northern Illinois or Virginia Tech incident (as that anniversary is quickly approaching), but what I get from this article is--if you get caught while you're in high school and your parents make you go to a psychiatrist, wait til you're 19 and then go to town. But share your story with a large news source so no one expects anything. I don't know. I'm still not convinced. Quite disturbing.


RELATED LINKS
Another school shooting leaves six dead
Update: NIU school shooting

"A-Rod" attacked by evil BoSox hawk

Last week, a hawk at Fenway Park attacked an innocent eighth-grade girl named Alexa Rodriguez.

Yes, that's right. The bird that nests in the home of the Red Sox attacked A-Rod. Couldn't make it up if I tried.


The girl, from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn., was on a field trip with classmates when the hawk swooped down and attacked in an apparent attempt to protect its eggs.

"A-Rod" was not seriously injured. She was taken to a nearby hospital and released.

But this just proves that everything about Fenway Park--its players AND its wildlife--is absolutely classless. And that especially goes for you, Manny Ramirez.

Thanks, Dave!

Teenage STDs--WTF?

A CDC study this week found that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. And when we say 'teenage,' we mean 14-19.

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here when I say that I find this extremely disturbing. You're like, in 8th grade and you have an STD? I don't even think knew what sex was at that age. And I'm pretty sure I didn't learn about STDs until senior year of high school.

About half of the girls studied acknowledged having sex. And one in four has an STD? That's like, a lot. And they were only testing for four STDs...

HPV, which is the leading cause in cervical cancer, was found to be most prevalent among the girls studied. And despite a recent outpouring of HPV prevention and awareness campaigns, parents need to wise up to the times and teach their kids what's up. Hopefully these numbers will serve as a wake-up call because kids are having sex way too young and being completely irresponsible.

...and let me tell you, I didn't even attempt to find a good picture to illustrate this point. I had enough problems studying my health textbook senior year.


Thanks, Dave.

American *really* Idle

A woman left her 3-year-old daughter to nearly drown in a bathtub during last week's "American Idol" results show, police said.

Sheila R. Brooks, a 25-year-old mother of four from Indianapolis, allegedly left two of her children in the tub when she went to do laundry. She stated to another daughter that she forgot that both her 2-year-old and 3-year-old were unattended in the tub as she watched "American Idol." She sent her 7-year-old daughter to check on the babies in the bath, and the child alerted the incredible responsible Ms. Brooks that her daughter Sirius (right) was submerged in water and unconscious.

The child was still in critical condition today.

It must have been one riveting episode of Idol. I haven't wasted more than three minutes of my life watching the newest season, so I can't even come up with something clever for this. But regardless, American Idol rarely shows more than three minutes of programming without a 10 minute interlude of Coke commercial, Chevy commercial, Coke commercial, terrible Fox programming commercial... you'd think somewhere along the line she would have snapped to and remembered she left her toddlers unattended in the tub.

And oh, to make matters even better, police found about an ounce of marijuana, five burnt marijuana cigarettes and a scale in the house. Intelligent.