RIPs

UPDATE: Pitchman Billy Mays was found dead today in his home. He was 50. Unbelievable.

I haven't updated in a long time -- no time at all -- but I felt the need to chronicle today/this week as it will become legendary in pop culture history.

Michael Jackson, the "King of Pop," died suddenly today after an apparent heart attack. The artist behind best-selling album of all time died at the age of 50.

Also today, actress Farrah Fawcett lossed her very public battle with cancer. The "Charlie's Angels" actress famous for her pin-up status, Fawcett recently released a documentary depicting her struggles called "Farrah's story." She was 62.

Hollywood lost another legend earlier this week when former Johnny Carson sidekick Ed McMahon submitted to a number of health problems. He was 86.

Pageants and healthcare are about integrity, okay?

 With all the drama drama surrounding the Miss USA pageant last week, I feel the need to bring the attention off the question of gay marriage that [in my opinion] Miss California so totally flubbed and focus it on Miss Arizona's awesomely terrible "stance" on health care in America.

"SNL"/"All That"/"Keenan and Kel"/"Mighty Ducks" star Keenan Thompson (dressed to the nines in a hoodie) asks the pageant contestant, Alicia-Monique Blanco, if the United States should have universal health care as a right of citizenship. 

Taking a page right out of Miss South Carolina 2008's book ("Everywhere, like such as, the Iraq..."), Blanco declares the issue a matter of integrity... several times... and leaves us all scratching our heads.

Really? Did these girls not come prepared to answer questions like these? We just had a presidential election with bountiful coverage of every important issue plaguing our country --you had the "study guide" five months before the test, you witless loser.

RIP Bea Arthur

We are losing American icons left and right this month...   :(

Actress Beatrice "Bea" Arthur, best known as Dorothy on Golden Girls, lost her battle with cancer today. She was 86. 

[read the full story]

Thank you for being a friend, Bea.

Prostitute 'slap-chopped' by the ShamWow guy

I'm an infomercial junkie and the ShamWow! ranks right up there with the Magic Bullet and Snuggie as one of my favs. So, naturally, I was pretty upset to hear that the magic towel salesman, Vince Shlomi, was recently arrested for assaulting a hooker.

According to reports, Shlomi -- also known as "Vince Offer" -- paid 26-year-old prostitute Sasha Harris $1,000 in February for "straight sex." But, as he told police, the woman bit his tongue while kissing him and refused to let go. He then punched her several times and ran into the hotel lobby to call police.

I guess it's pretty unlucky that his other highly tauted infomercial is for the "Slap Chop." (And ironically enough, he quips "You're gonna love my nuts" during the demonstration. See below for the remixed version.)



Both were charged with battery. Check out the pics courtesy of The Smoking Gun. They're pretty gruesome:



Funny -- I can't look at those pictures without saying, 'wow' every time. Thanks, Vince!

Thanks, TJS!

I bet I can find Waldo...

[NOTE] This is a special announcement from my friend, Matt, who has organized a fantastic event at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. If you are in that area or know anyone there, spread the word -- You have the chance to do some good while being a part of history and setting a Guinness World Record!

Last year, Matt and more than 700 others set the Guinness World Record for most people dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This year, it's all about Waldo, and it won't be too hard to find him with potentially 1,800 people dressed as the stripey fellow. And hey, it's his 21st birthday this year!

Here are the details (ala Matt):

New Brunswick, NJ – On April 2, the Rutgers University Programming Association (RUPA) and Rutgers Student Life will attempt to break another Guinness World Record™. Over 1,500 Rutgers students, faculty, staff and community members are expected to overtake the historic State Theatre located in downtown New Brunswick, New Jersey, dressed as publishing phenomenon and pop culture icon, Where’s Waldo?

For an “entry fee,” each participant will be asked to bring at least one children’s book to donate to literacy efforts in the local New Brunswick School District. In addition to breaking the Guinness World Record™, the goal is to collect over 4,000 books. Candlewick Press, publisher of the best-selling “Where’s Waldo?” series, has also pledged to donate one book for every participant in attendance that evening.

The event will start at 8:00 p.m. with the doors of the State Theatre opening at approximately 7:00 p.m. Event participants are asked to wear blue jeans or pants and will be provided with Waldo’s iconic long-sleeved striped shirt, knit hat and glasses as stipulated in the official Guinness World Record™ requirements.

“The “Where’s Waldo? world record attempt is a truly unique charitable event,” said Matthew Ferguson, Assistant Director for Student Life and RUPA Advisor[ “The ‘double bottom line’ of collecting books for local schools and charities as well as attempting to break the Guinness World Record™ allows the members of our community to get involved with a philanthropic project while being a part of an exciting and memorable event.”

The event is a part of Entertainment Rights’ year-long 21^st birthday celebration for Waldo. Last summer, Waldo got his digital passport as he leapt off the pages of books, joining millions of other 20-somethings to travel the digital highway. An official Waldo online presence was established on key social networking sites including Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. Waldo’s official online destination, www. findwaldo.com, launched in September, timed to his 21^st birthday.

In April of 2008, Rutgers University was successful in breaking the Guinness World Record™ for the Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Ninja Turtles.

This event is being co-sponsored by the Rutgers Center for Communication and Health Issues’ RU Sure? Campaign which debunks myths about alcohol-use on campus and encourages students to choose responsible alternatives. Barnes & Noble, the official campus bookstore of Rutgers University, is also a co-sponsor of the event.

Kinda makes you feel nostalgic, right? Thinking about your kiddie crusade to find Waldo amongst the pyramids and vikings. If you can, get out to RU and find/be Waldo! It's a great cause and is sure to get a lot of attention nationwide!

"PLEASE, let me be your Rock of Love..."

[NOTE] Leading up to this concert, I couldn't find many reviews -- mostly because this was only the third or fourth stop of this tour -- so I hope this helps people going to future concerts get an idea of what's in store.

As I mentioned last week, my girlfriends are fantastic for supporting my love of Bret Michaels and this weekend only elevated my irrational obsession of the "seasoned" rocker.

My four friends and I journeyed down to the House of Blues in Showboat Casino Friday night (March 20) for Bret's Atlantic City stop on the "Rock of Love Bus Tour."

We made it down in good time, but our 20-minute check-in and dimly lit hotel room made getting ready for the show a frantic mess of high heels, eyeliner and lingerie (What? Did you think we would show up to a Bret Michaels concert and not dress the part?).

Doors opened at 8 and the show was set to begin at 9, but we unfortunately got in there a little later than I had hoped and fans were jammed tight up to the stage. My friends and I scooted through the crowd and landed about 20-25 rows of people away from the stage. I wanted to get closer, but we were essentially stonewalled by people much larger than we. (Rachel would later say we were blocked by the "fat fortress.")

In my opinion, Bret brought the house down. His voice is a little gruffer than it used to be and he didn't play long (little more than an hour?), but his and the BMB's energy had the crowd -- hardcore Poison fans, Bret Michaels solo enthusiasts and reality television lovers alike -- dancing, jumping and unskinnybopping all over the place.

Bret was smiling the entire time, doing some dancing in his skintight jeans and repeatedly reaching out to the extended hands of fans pouring over the railings. He told mildly insightful stories about his songs (like writing "Every Rose" in a laundromat), reminded us that "ROL" has been the highest rated show on VH1 for three seasons and directed cameramen around the stage as they filmed segments for the channel.

The music was a mix of old Poison, new Bret Michaels Band and cover songs. He opened with the again-popular "Talk Dirty to Me" (for all the Guitar Hero fans in the room), ripped through the "oldest of the oldschool Poison" with "Look What the Cat Dragged In," ended with "Fallen Angel" and encored with "Nothing But a Good Time" (which I called from a mile away -- video below).

Bret also went oldschool with covers of "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Knocking on Heaven's Door." Of his newer material, he played the theme to his hit reality show, "Go That Far," the corny-but-catchy "Bittersweet" and --my favorite-- "Driven."

Looking back, I'm a little disappointed we didn't work to get backstage, and while I didn't get to meet Bret, my friends and I did manage to meet and get a hug from Chuck Fanslau, the drummer from the Bret Michaels Band (and who infamously kissed Beverly in ROLB ep. 4 -- pictured below)!

So, overall, Bret Michaels' solo concert was nothing but a good time and my friends and I are already planning to see Poison (with Def Leppard and Cheap Trick) in June when they kick off their tour in NJ in June -- whoo! And you can bet your extension-wearing, silicone-loving butt I'm going to be front row next time Bret comes to town ;)

"The Hills" have five

For as much as I loved Whitney on "The Hills," I must admit I've barely given "The City" a second glance. I'm not really sure why -- Perhaps it's the lack of Speidi or the fact that I can't understand anything that Australian guy says. 

Either way, I am [shamefully] looking forward to MTV's original scripted drama returning to Monday nights in April.

Check out the trailer for season five below. I love how it opens with a fortune teller soothsaying Lauren's misfortunes ("People who you thought were your friends turned out to be your enemies"). Gee, how insightful. Think she's got cable?

And just as Brett Favre proclaims at the end of every

 season, Lauren Conrad claims to be quitting The Hills...for good this time...

Seriously...

...But probably not.

And even if LC does take a break from the show that made her famous enough to have fake internships, fake boyfriends and a fake clothing line, producers are looking at ways to continue airing the popular show. Rumor has it that Lo is on board. And I'm sure they'll have a hard time getting Heidi and Spencer to come back...

"I, Heidi, take thee Spencer..."

I figured it'd been awhile since my last "Hills" full episode recap, so when better to get back to it than the season finale? So sit back, relax and embrace my sarcastic commentary like Heidi and Lauren at a not-really-black-tie event.

So let's start with the less important --but just as staged-- storyline of the night: Audrina and Justin Bobby heading out to Palm Springs on a weekend getaway. Can we just talk about JB in the overalls without a shirt on his motorcycle? Aaaaand cue the banjo here. But what really made me laugh was Justin's acute observation that every time they go away together, it's never just the two of them -- it's always Audrina's friends "nibbling" in her ear. He's right. And in Palm Springs it was just the two of them... and the producers... the director...the camera men...the boom mic guy...

Things got more interesting when Justin Bobby presented a ring -- from his mouth. That's charming. He did manage to call Audrina by her name rather than the ever-affectionate "dude." For a split second I thought they would totally get married. I mean, it's no Patron, but the two of them had been chugging from that champagne bottle.

Back in LA, Lauren and Lo got all do-ed up (though their hair looked exactly the same as it always does) for a black-tie event hosted by none other than Brent Bolthouse. And Lauren wore lime green. (Shoutout to the show's editing team for cutting in the Dandy Warhols "We Used the Be Friends" here.)

Shockingly enough, Heidi was "working" the event, and I love that she looks around and says, "I haven't seen people look this nice and dressy in a long time," yet the girl just got married three days ago.

Anyway, Heidi approaches Lauren for a heart-to-heart... which really turns into three minutes of the most awkward television ever. There's a lot of nodding and furrowed brows (as per usual on The Hills), and the word "madame" is used way too many times than it ever should between two peers. The most cringe-worthy moment comes after Lauren drops the, "It is what it is" bomb and Heidi pauses, looks pensively and says, "You been working out?" Um? There's more champagne chugging --this time on Lauren's end-- and I am again waiting for two more people to run away and get married.

Speaking of elopement, we find Heidi and Spencer this week attempting to make their Mexico matrimony legal in the US. We also witness Heidi awkwardly explaining the marriage to her friends, family and co-workers. You gotta feel bad for Heidi's mom here -- the poor woman just wants to be there to watch her daughter get married. "There are a lot of people hurt here, a lot of people who have helped mold you into the person you are today," she says. Wait, am I wrong in thinking she's referring to Heidi's plastic surgeons here?

Against her family's wishes, Heidi goes to the courthouse to meet Spencer and Stephanie for a really romantic ceremony before a fake judge. (Yeah, this was shot after hours and probably wouldn't have been legal even if they had gone through with it.) Steph implores Spencer to hold off on the marriage because it's not what his bride really wants. And even though he whines about having gotten all dressed up in his nice suit, he has a change of heart and tells Heidi he'll "deal with" giving her her dream wedding.

And hey, did anyone else think the judge said "through all the day of your lies" to Spencer during his vows? Freudian slip much? I wish she would have made him swear to shave off his Santa Claus beard, too.

So that ends season, what, four? Of course they didn't get married -- it would have essentially put the kibosh on all of the storylines that producers had cooked up. Those people can't keep coming up with new things all the time - they aren't miracle workers for God's sake.

And on the After Show, Lauren's big announcement was --surprise, surprise-- another season of The Hills is forthcoming. Perhaps there will be little Speidlets soon. I wouldn't be surprised if the producers offered them a raise in pay to reproduce.

Here's the final installment of my Hills drinking game. Until next time...

• Whenever you hear "dude"--twice if it's a term of endearment.
• If you have a craving for Sonic's chocolate cheesecake bites.
• Whenever you're a little sadder than you expected that Whitney is gone.
  
• Any time someone takes a swig of champagne.
• Every time Heidi and Spencer's wedding is blamed on alcohol or Mother Nature.

RELATED LINKS
Speidi and the Patron make it happen
Maybe it's not such a Speidi wedding
It's a Speidi wedding!

Speidi and the Patron make it happen

As much as I feel the last episode of "The Hills" deserves a Jerc Store-style recap (and perhaps it will get one, if my job ever stops consuming my life), I just have to ask the question now: Was anyone else super confused by the Speidi wedding in the Mexico this week?

I consulted with fellow Hills-buff, Stef, on this and she confirmed that it wasn't just me being as vapid as most of the girls on the show - the continuity of the episode really didn't make sense.

In real life --that is, the life that you and I lead-- news of Heidi and Spencer eloping in Mexico broke Nov. 24, just three weeks before this episode aired. Meanwhile (in Hillsland), Lauren and the crew are saying goodbye to Whitney, who is about to leave for a new life in New York City. But, we've been seeing promos for Whitney's new show, "The City," for at least three weeks now and the show premieres in two. How is that they'd already shot, cut, edited and shipped all the footage for Whitney's new show essentially before she's left?

Did that explanation make sense to anyone? No? Okay, try this one out then...

Heidi and Spencer go to Mexico. One night they're drinking--heavily. Now, it's nighttime when Spencer seemingly forces shots of Patron down Heidi's throat and convinces her to marry him right then and there. (Of course, being the gentleman he is, Spencer pushes, pushes, pushes and then sticks his lip out and says, "You're sure?" Please.) The next time we see the couple --now newlyweds-- is during a morning in their hotel room as Heidi talks about being hungover last night from all the Patron. But yet, they whip out a camcorder to show footage of their wedding, shot in daylight.

If they were taking the shots at night and decided on a whim to get married at night, how was the wedding that they're seemingly discussing "the morning after" shot in daylight?

Could this mean that The Hills is --OMG-- fake? Did they do something like this to --GASP-- improve ratings?

[UPDATE] And hey, previews for next week's season finale show Heidi and Spencer making their elopement legal in a courtroom, but apparently that was filmed after hours and is likely not real either. Haaaaaa.

Thanks, Geoff and Stef!

It's a 'Speidi' wedding!

Well, they did it. 'Hills' stars Heidi and Spencer have reportedly tied the knot, with fewer family members than photogs in attendance. Gee, that's not like Speidi at all...

Us Weekly has confirmed the union, and will feature a full spread on the private ceremony in its upcoming issue, on stands Wednesday.

Here's a taste:

Introducing, Mrs. Heidi Montag Pratt!

The Hills star wed her longtime beau, Spencer Pratt, in a secret ceremony in Cabos San Lucas, Mexico, on Nov. 20, Us Weekly reports in its newest issue. See exclusive photos wedding photos in Us Weekly's new issue, on stands Wednesday.

"The minute we said our vows, I couldn't stop crying," Montag, 22, tells Us.

See more amazing celebrity wedding photos.

At the altar, Pratt, 25, told his bride: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I'm honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always."

Someone who might not be so thrilled? Montag’s mother.

"I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, 'Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle,'" Montag tells Us.

"She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that," she adds. "I don't know when I'll tell her." Um? I guess now?

Pratt and Montag have had a tumultuous relationship.

In 2007, Pratt popped the question (after just eight months of dating) with a diamond-encrusted platinum band set with a purple stone that he'd purchased from the mall.

See how much stars paid for their engagement rings.

But after bickering over Pratt hitting on women in a club, the pair took a "relationship vacation" just a few months later.

"I'd just turned 21, and it was scary because I was so young," Montag told Us following the split.

(What happened to the bling? "I turned it into a pendant," Montag told Us in December. "It wasn't my dream ring. I don't like what it represents. I might sell it.")

The pair gave it another go in May 2008, after a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico where "Heidi read me biblical passages like 'Honor thy wife,'" Pratt explained.

By the end, he'd convinced her to plan their wedding again.

"I'm ready to marry Spencer," Montag told Us that month. "He's my soulmate."

'True' hit

I was so happy to hear from several of my friends over the last few weeks that they are as obsessed with HBO's "True Blood" as I am. And now CNN is jumping on the vindication train. Whoo!
If you've never watched the show (or have only watched one episode), you probably think the viewing population has been drinking some sort of Tru Blood Kool-Aid; I'll admit, I was a little weirded out by the first episode myself. But give it two episodes, and you'll be absolutely hooked.

Anna Paquin ("Fly Away Home" anyone?) stars as Sookie Stackhouse, an innocent-but-feisty Louisiana girl who's got the hots for Bill the vampire in a town where vamps have only recently begun integrating. The ancillary characters have got issues all their own, and there's lots of sex, drugs and blood-thirsty roles.

Read more about how the show has taken off since its September premiere.

Now, I know the haters are probably rolling their eyes over the whole vampire trend (ala "Twilight"), but this show is way, way better--and hotter. (Be warned, True Blood is not for watching with your parents in the room--I don't care how old you are.)

Anyway, give it a shot. Sundays at 9 on HBO. But if you'd like to get the full effect of how incredibly addictive the show is, go online or watch On-Demand and start from the beginning.

And for those of you who already True Blood fans, you'll be pleased to hear that it's been picked up for a second season!

Thanks, Geoff!

More 'Hills'

While my coverage of "The Hills" has been waning in recent weeks, I still thought it fair to post a 'scoop' I heard tonight: After much speculation whether or not MTV's most famous faux-reality show would continue for another season, Audrina Patridge has confirmed that the fifth season is a go.

Lately, Hills protagonist Lauren Conrad has been questioning whether she'd like to continue with the show that made her famous, but apparently she caved. Or maybe she's not even on the show anymore and we'll be watching Audrina and Holly live their lives. Just like watching paint dry.

Check out what Audrina had to say here.

RIP Michael Crichton

Famed writer Michael Crichton died unexpectedly Tuesday night after a private battle with cancer, sources say.

Crichton, a 66-year-old medical doctor, was best known for penning "Jurassic Park" and his work with the television show "ER."

He also wrote "The Andromeda Strain," "Sphere" and "Rising Sun" and his 2004 novel, "State of Fear," in which he took on global warming and the theories surrounding it. He directed "Westworld" (1973), "Coma" (1978), "Looker" (1981) and "Runaway" (1984).

Crichton, who graduated from Harvard Medical School, won an Emmy, a Peabody and a Writers Guild of America Award for "ER," and won other awards as well.

[click here to read his New York Times obit]

He is survived by his wife, Sherri, and daughter, Taylor.

"If there was no television, this guy would be living in a tree"

I swear, I will get a 'Hills' update soon: I passively watched last night, and while the episode was pretty bland, I did find some things to poke fun at. I'll have to On Demand-it-up over the next few days and try to put together a comprehensive Hills fest of the last three episodes.

In the meantime, check out Lauren's appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night.

The first few minutes are somewhat awkward, with Letterman straight up telling Lauren that she's the reason why people on The Hills hate each other...and she has no idea how to react.

Lauren then discusses the show, the cast, her upcoming books and plans for the future--or tries to, as Letterman interrupts her every 2.5 seconds. Still, LC manages to slip in a great jab at Spencer (around 2:15 in).

Overall, Lauren seems pretty daft, but she's probably just too creeped out by Letterman drooling all over her. Check it out, particularly around 5:45 when Letterman starts giving his thoughts on Brody.



RELATED LINKS
Lauren Conrad: Over 'The Hills'
Head from 'The Hills'
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"

Baby Mama's got a little one

You might have noticed that "Saturday Night Live" star Amy Poehler was sporting a little more than a baby bump in recent weeks, but bump-be-gone! Poehler is officially a mommy!

The "Baby Mama" star gave birth to her baby, Archie Arnett, on Saturday. The baby, born to Poehler and husband Will Arnett, was 8 lbs, 1 oz.

SNL has been infamously bad the last few yeares, but the election has revitalized a few of the skits. In honor of Poehler, I'm posting a video of the "Palin Rap," which made me laugh incredibly hard. It's gonna be a shame when Poehler leaves this year.


RELATED LINKS
Poehler peacing out
Fierce to the trannieth degree

The short on Port

My apologies for the lack of 'Hills' recaps lately. Admittedly, I've missed the last two episodes and have had no time to catch up...and until that happens, here's a little teaser for the new Hills spinoff, "The City," starring Whitney.

From what I can gather, there will be a bit less airhead conversation and bit more focus on the career path than The Hills offered; that's a good thing if we're trying to influence young women to get excited about being successful in a professional sense, but it's probaaably not going to be that good for ratings.

Then again, if Lauren makes good on her promise to quit filming the reality show, then I guess "The City" is all we got.

Hey, at least there's a guy with a hot Australian accent!



RELATED LINKS
Lauren Conrad: Over "The Hills"
Head from "The Hills"

Lauren Conrad: Over 'The Hills'

Uh-oh 'Hills' fans - Lauren is talking about calling it quits!

The Hills protagonist told Extra! last night that, "It's coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I'm ready to kind of walk away. I've been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time."

Ahhh, suddenly it makes sense why they are not pushing Whitney's life on us!

Lauren apparently wants to walk away from MTV's most popular show to tour college campuses and talk to co-eds about domestic violence and the like. (Similar to past Real World-ers.)

But wait--there's more: Lauren and Heidi are friends again!

USmagazine reports that the two made up at a Malibu Rum sponsored dinner at STK in Los Angeles Tuesday night. Heidi came over and congratulated Lauren on her clothing line and the two hugged. Daww, how sweet...but I didn't believe they were ever really fighting in the first place.

RELATED LINKS
Head from 'The Hills'
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"

Whole lotta De La Hoya... but not that one

VH1 is at it again - Another "Love" loser will be getting her own show...

Enter former "Rock of Love II" bimbo Daisy De La Hoya (yes, she's related) in the network's upcoming show, "Daisy of Love." Do they not realize that the title of that makes absolutely no sense? Do they not have anyone at VH1 who come up with something--anything--better than that?

The show will air in Spring 2009, but I'm only watching it if Bret Michaels makes an appearance...Oh, who am I kidding? I will probably be mildly addicted to this, even though on-camera Daisy is close to braindead and sounds perptually stoned. She just be bi-sexual and go on "Shot at Love."

Casting for the show is apparently based on an Internet vote (ala "I Love New York" and "Real World Hollywood"), so if you're really interested in dating the Daisy Duck look-a-like, click here and upload your profile. Round 1 ends in 33 days. Let me know if you're doing it; I'll start a Jerc Store campaign and rally the readers behind you. It'll like, be totally, like awesome, ya knoowww?
RELATED LINKS
Giving me 'something to believe in'
Belting and blogging it out with Bret
"Surgery could make me hotter. Surgery couldn't make her smarter"
Bret leaves the ladies 'Charmed'
Open up and say, 'You're an idiot for getting my name tatooed on your neck'

Head from 'The Hills'

It appears that MTV is trying to suck its 'Hills' franchise dry: Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad's friend and co-worker, will be getting her very own spinoff in 2009.

Rumors of the spinoff have been swirling for awhile now, but MTV announced today that Whitney will star in "The City" --clever title. The show will air in the spring.

Cameras will follow Whitney from LA to NYC, where she will work for designer Diane Von Furstenberg. reunite with "a best friend from her past" and meet "a guy she's head-over-heels for," according to the release.

I mean, I'm all for the "normal" girl on the overly-hyped television show having her day, but do we really think Whitney can carry the show on her own? I mean, she's intelligent and beautiful, but let's face it: She's just an ancillary character in the drama-tastic world of The Hills--that's the downside of having substance and integrity.

MTV is already heading off our worries with this exaggerated description of the show:

"Surrounded by all new friends, pursuing a fresh love life and starting to work in the upper echelon of the fashion industry is a lot to navigate for a new girl in the big city... especially one who has everything to lose. In a city full of people with their own agendas, Whitney will have to quickly decide who she can trust and who to stay away from." - MTV

You know, I thought Whitney was smart for shying away from the cameras during The Hills and focusing on her career, but I'd say this seems like a step in the wrong direction. Still, it will give me some more meaningless television to watch, so...okay.

Don't Vote!

Voter registration deadlines are a-coming! [Find your state's registration deadline here.] Are you registered? Do you know by when you need to do it? Do you care???

Maybe watching this PSA below will make you give a hoot - and if nothing else, Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman will give you a laugh. Check out a slue of celebs telling you, "DON'T VOTE!"

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.