RIP Michael Crichton

Famed writer Michael Crichton died unexpectedly Tuesday night after a private battle with cancer, sources say.

Crichton, a 66-year-old medical doctor, was best known for penning "Jurassic Park" and his work with the television show "ER."

He also wrote "The Andromeda Strain," "Sphere" and "Rising Sun" and his 2004 novel, "State of Fear," in which he took on global warming and the theories surrounding it. He directed "Westworld" (1973), "Coma" (1978), "Looker" (1981) and "Runaway" (1984).

Crichton, who graduated from Harvard Medical School, won an Emmy, a Peabody and a Writers Guild of America Award for "ER," and won other awards as well.

[click here to read his New York Times obit]

He is survived by his wife, Sherri, and daughter, Taylor.

Baby Mama's got a little one

You might have noticed that "Saturday Night Live" star Amy Poehler was sporting a little more than a baby bump in recent weeks, but bump-be-gone! Poehler is officially a mommy!

The "Baby Mama" star gave birth to her baby, Archie Arnett, on Saturday. The baby, born to Poehler and husband Will Arnett, was 8 lbs, 1 oz.

SNL has been infamously bad the last few yeares, but the election has revitalized a few of the skits. In honor of Poehler, I'm posting a video of the "Palin Rap," which made me laugh incredibly hard. It's gonna be a shame when Poehler leaves this year.


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Poehler peacing out
Fierce to the trannieth degree

Poehler peacing out

The writing on "SNL" is so terrible these days that it was only a matter of time before leading funny woman called it quits: Amy Poehler tells the new issue of Men's Vogue that she is leaving the show after the November elections.

If you caught this weekend's episode hosted by Michael Phelps, you may have noticed Poehler sporting more than just a baby bump --she's due this fall-- but that's not her only reason for getting out.

"It's gonna be really hard Boyz II Men hard to say goodbye to yesterday. SNL was dangerous, late-night, last-minute and star-studded, but like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down." - Amy Poehler.

The actress says she plans to be involved in some way with the mysterious "Office" spinoff, but there aren't too many details available on that.

Good for Poehler: Other than Weekend Update, that show has been a sinking ship. It did, however, generate a lot of buzz this weekend after Poehler teamed up with her "Baby Mama" co-star, Tina Fey, for an on-point Hillary Clinton and Tina Fey parady. So here's the clip in honor of Poehler's smart career move!

Olympics peacing out

I should probably mention that the Olympics are over, with the United States earning the greatest number of medals, but China earning the most gold.

This year's Olympics are being heralded as "truly exceptional Games," and even for an apathetic Olympic watcher such as myself, I thought a lot of it was pretty exciting.

To read some interesting stats, click here, and for medal counts, photos, news stories and more, click here.

RIPs

Because it's been so long since my last post, I decided to combine the moderately recent passing of a talented journalist with the very recent passing of a memorable comedian.

While I was on vacation (June 13), longtime "Meet the Press" moderator, Washington bureau chief and one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people--Tim Russert--died of a heart attack. [For more on Russert's death, click here]

As an American, it's hard to ignore a untimely death of a public figure...but as a fellow journalist (albeit on a much more amateur level), it's sad to see one of the good ones go. Journalists aren't always known as the cuddliest of professionals, but Russert will forever be lauded as an extremely talented and respectable man whose influence on this country and this profession will not soon be forgotten.

More recently, comedian/actor/"disturber of peace" George Carlin died Sunday of heart failure. And for your sake, I hope you've seen at least one of his HBO comedy specials, listened to one of his many comedy albums or at least watched "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

The Associated Press distributed a comprehensive obituary this week, so rather than me try to reiterate Carlin's career...

LOS ANGELES (AP) — George Carlin, the dean of counterculture comedians whose biting insights on life and language were immortalized in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine, died Sunday. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica complaining of chest pain and died of heart failure later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

Carlin constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words" — all of which are taboo on broadcast TV to this day.

When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

The words were later played on a New York radio station, resulting in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.

Despite his reputation as unapologetically irreverent, Carlin was a television staple through the decades, serving as host of the "Saturday Night Live" debut in 1975 — noting on his Web site that he was "loaded on cocaine all week long" — and appearing some 130 times on "The Tonight Show."

He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a few TV shows and appeared in several movies, from his own comedy specials to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" in 1989 — a testament to his range from cerebral satire and cultural commentary to downright silliness (sometimes hitting all points in one stroke).

Carlin won four Grammy Awards for best spoken comedy album and was nominated for five Emmys. Last week, it was announced that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which will be presented Nov. 10 in Washington and broadcast on PBS.

F-bomb on NBC

There's nothing I love more than live flubs on television and awkward moments--especially ala local news broadcasts--and this one is phenomenal.

Sue Simmons, a longtime NBC news anchor in NYC, was reading a tease during the 10 p.m. for the upcoming 11 o'clock news...only she didn't know it was airing live. Just as Simmons finishes teasing a package about grocery prices, B-roll of a cruise ship plays across the screen and she yells, well, go ahead and watch for yourself...



Haaaa. I especially love the more than eight seconds of silence that follow the blatant expletive.

When the news program aired at 11, Simmons offered an apology.

"I have to acknowledge an unfortunate incident... I used a word that many people find offensive. It was a mistake I made and I'm truly sorry."--Sue Simmons

NBC did not comment further.

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Muff-ing up on live television is always fun times

Being a loser ain't just for the boys anymore

WARNING: SPOILERS

Congratulations to Biggest Loser Couples winner Ali Vincent, who became the reality show's first female winner last night.
In a live, two-hour broadcast, host Alison Sweeney first revealed the results of America's vote, a twist that would determine if it would be heavily favored front-runner Roger or the once-competitive-now-weepy Mark in the show's final three...And America chose Roger.

With Roger and the two female finalists--Ali and Kelly--backstage, the first hour of the show was chock-full of montages (for some reason I couldn't get Team America out of my head), showing the contestants' struggles on the ranch and their training at home. Those 17 contestants who were voted off in the previous weeks each weighed in for a chance to win $100,000. And remember...Biggest Loser goes by percentage of weight lost, not total pounds!

Curtis, who was eliminated in week two, went from 381 lbs to 231 lbs - that's a loss of 150 lbs for you non-mathematicians. Unbelievable. He was in the lead for the prize money until my absolute fav DAN came out (looking all handsome) and stole it away. Dan started at 310 and lost 136 lbs--or 43.86% of his body weight. Love him!

Unfortunately for Dan (left), his lead was short lived and big bad Bernie immediately took it away after the scale showed he lost 130 lbs (45.3%) of his original body weight. And then there was Mark ("Mahhk"), who made Bernie break a sweat one more time when he came 1 POUND short of beating him. I left the room for a second, but I'd be comfortable in betting he shed a tear or two. In fact, at some point during the show, Alison Sweeney cracked on Mahhk for being a crybaby. Ha!

Then on to the real competition. More montages of Ali eating frozen yogurt at 2 a.m., Roger plateauing and Kelly expressing displeasure with her herniated disk.

In the end, Ali--who had been eliminated in week four, but was accepted back onto the show in a mid-season twist--locked up the title of Biggest Loser. Much like Rock of Love's Ambre, the winner was given a second chance and never looked back. (Yes, anything to mention the greatest show ever made.)

Ali looks fantastic and you can't help but be amazed by a transformation like hers, or any of the contestants. Absolutely amazing.

New Biggest Loser Couples season coming in October!

RELATED LINKS:
'Weight' and see who's in the final three

Conan's creepy priest to do penance

Updating a previous item:

Father David Ajemian, the priest who has reportedly been stalking Conan O'Brien since they went to Harvard together, apologized in court Tuesday and pleaded guilty to lesser charges of disorderly conduct after prosecutors withdrew charges of aggravated harassment and stalking, misdemeanors that are punishable by up to 90 days in jail.

Father Ajemian has also been ordered to stay away from O'Brien for two years....What?? Shouldn't it be like, forever?

The priest did not say in court why he was stalking Conan, but had previously said he wanted a "public confession" or "a spot on Conan's couch."

RELATED LINKS:
Hell hath no fury like a creepy priest

'Weight' and see who's in the final three

I need another reality show addiction like a hole in the head, but add The Biggest Loser Couples to the 'completely obsessed' column.

I've been following this show only since this season began, but the interesting format (which had contestants arrive on the weight loss campus in pairs and lose the weight together) and the fact that Tuesday is one of the only nights I'm able to watch primetime television got me hooked.

For the first time in Biggest Loser history, a woman (Ali, formerly of the pink team) lost the most percentage body weight on campus. Fellow female finalist, Kelly, joined Ali above "the yellow line" last night, leaving 'heavy hitter' Roger and Boston-boy Mark (aka "Mahhhk") up for elimination.

Amidst a season so full of twists and turns the writers probably lost weight, producers threw in one last snafu seconds after the final weigh-in: The contestants would not be voting off the last person--America would.

ROGER



MARK

If you care at all, you can click here to vote for which man will join Ali and Kelly to compete for $250,000 during Tuesday's live finale.

If you'd like to see a woman win for the first time in the show's history, it would probably be in your best interest to vote for Mark, even if you hate him, because Roger is the clear cut frontrunner should America choose him to stay in the competition. And if you're sick of seeing Mark cry...well, too bad, because he'll probably cry if he gets the book. Or moves on. Or his brother comes on stage. Or they go to commercial.

Apparently, the trainers were a little pissed about this change in format. [click here to read what Jillian had to say]

I must say, of all the terrible reality television shows that I watch and cannot legitimately defend, this one is actually worthwhile. Look at how incredible those transformations are...

Contestants, ready...to become Gladiators?

The first season of American Gladiators has come to a close with one male and one female contestant winning $100,000 and an SUV each and being crowned the newest Gladiators.

Evan Dollard and Monica Carlson will join the ranks next season, and hopefully be shot up with steroids to be on par with the likes of Wolf and Siren (just kidding...kind of).

Evan clearly smoked his contestant, beating his own personal best record on the Eliminator (1 min, 23 sec.) by four seconds. The other guy had no shot, especially because Evan terrorized any climbing activity and made the incredibly difficult handlebar thing look like child's play.

The girl's race wasn't quite a blow out, as Shanay Norvell gave Monica a run for her money up the cargo net, but Shanay died on the pyramid (one of the easiest parts of the Elimiator) and Monica ran away with the competition.

Enthralling stuff, really, I know. Try to find a hobby until the second installment of the show returns.

RELATED LINKS:
"Gladiators, are you ready?"
Reinventing Lace, Zap, Blaze and Laser
'Give to me your paraphernalia, take from me my Lace'

'Give to me your paraphernalia, take from me my Lace'

You might not be pumped for NBC's reinvention of American Gladiators, perhaps because it's a WWE-ified version of its former self? Whatever happened to Zap, Diamond, Nitro...?

Well, I don't know about the rest of them, but Los Angeles PD busted former Gladiator babe Lace for possession of drug paraphernalia last week.

Lace? Drugs? Gosh, the joke is almost too easy. Maybe Blaze will get busted for marijuana next week.

Lace, also known as Marisa Pare, was held on $250 bail.

RELATED LINKS:
"Gladiators, are you ready?"

"Gladiators, are you ready?"

Please, tell me you didn't miss the premiere of NBC's American Gladiators tonight.

The two-hour reinvention of the 90's classic aired tonight and introduced America to 14 new Gladiators ready to whoop on some short and comparatively scrawny contenders: Blast, Crush, Fury, Hellga, Siren, Stealth and Venom for the women, and Hammer, Justice, Mayhem, Militia, Titan, Toa and Wolf for the men.

A little fun fact: Titan is the only Gladiator to be on both the original and the remake of the series, and Toa is the cousin of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

I was stoked for this show to start and tonight's double showing was entertaining, but honestly...it was a little too WWE for my taste. The extremely terrible overacting and audience singing "Nananana, hey hey hey, goodbye" every time someone fell into the water, sprinkled with the occasional heartfelt testimonial and shout out to the loving family, I felt like it was like fake-o wrestling meets Oprah Winfrey.

Also, I was pretty disappointed by how nice the female Gladiators were being. Don't shake that bitches hand--kick her while she's down!!

The 2008 American Gladiators leaves 1991 loyalists with much to be desired, but I was pleased to see the return of Assault (where contenders aim arrows and rockets at Gladiators while dodging 100-mph tennis ball shots) and the ever-popular Eliminator, which destroyed and embarrassed several of tonight's contenders.

I'm predicting the show probably won't last longer than this season (or until the strike ends), but for a shot of old school, cheesy, barbaric entertainment, check out the second part NBC's 2008 American Gladiators premiere tomorrow night at 8 p.m.

UPDATE: Titan appeared on a local radio show this morning saying that tonight's episode features a nice bone breaking - whoo hoo!

RELATED LINKS:
Reinventing Lace, Zap, Blaze and Laser

Tons of television

Good news for those of you going through late-night television withdrawal lately: Leno, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Letterman and Craig Ferguson will all return to air tomorrow night.

But there is still a lot up in the air regarding primetime programming, and some people are worried that the reality TV monster is going to gobble up television as we know it. Sorry folks, but there's not a lot we can do about it, so let's celebrate some of the incredible--that's slightly sarcastic--television slotted to premiere in the next few weeks.

Biggest Loser Couples - NBC - Jan. 1: I've not been a follower of this show in the past, but I watched the premiere tonight and it was moderately entertaining [click here to read more about this season]. Interesting twist on the original. Something that might be left on in the background.

The Celebrity Apprentice - NBC - Jan. 3: I just got into The Apprentice last season, and I'm excited for more Trump time, but this list of celebrities is filled with scrubs. But I'm excited for the shameless product placement to come.

American Gladiators - NBC - Jan. 6: This is going to be incredible. That's all I have to say.

Rock of Love II - VH1 - Jan. 13: I'm a sucker for Bret Michaels and the first season of this show was entirely too addictive. It don't mean nothing but a good time, so please, tune in.

The Gauntlet III - MTV - Jan. 23: It's been way too long since MTV has put out a Real World/Road Rules challenge, so I'm stoked for the new Gauntlet. The cast will again be split into Rookies v. Vets and the characters look like they will not disappoint. Coral is back, baby!!

Let's also look forward to Flavor of Love III (Feb. 11), the continuation of The Hills' season three, Top Chef Chicago, and I guess we can look forward to American Idol's whatever number season it is, beginning Jan. 16. And in a non-reality television sense, we've got Entourage coming in sometime this year and grr, a postponed due to the writer's strike season of 24.

That's a lot of TV.
P.S. I do have a life, seriously.

For your perfect viewing pleasure

Seeing a potentially perfect season for the New England Patriots from weeks away, football fans without the NFL Network were getting antsy this week thinking they would miss history in the making.

But lucky for us, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell conceeded and this Saturday's game will be simulcast on NFL Network, CBS and NBC--a little excessive, but hey, who's complaining?

"We have taken this extraordinary step because it is in the best interest of our fans. What we have seen for the past year is a very strong consumer demand for NFL Network. We appreciate CBS and NBC delivering the NFL Network telecast on Saturday night to the broad audience that deserves to see this potentially historic game. Our commitment to the NFL Network is stronger than ever." - Roger Goodell

The league had previously been criticized by football fans without the network--about 60 percent of viewers--especially after an exciting Green Bay/Dallas game last month.

Last week, Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt. and Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa. wrote a letter to Goodell threatening to reconsider the league's antitrust exemption, and commended the commissioner on his actions.

This will be the first three-network simulcast in NFL history and the first simulcast of any kind of an NFL game since the first Super Bowl in 1967, when CBS and NBC both televised the event.

Now of course, being able to watch history happen Saturday night won't matter because the Giants are so totally going to beat up on New England (no hate messages, it's just wishful thinking...), but it's nice to see some higher ups looking out for us common folk who love us some foozball.

Reinventing Lace, Zap, Blaze, Laser...

Though the revival was announced back in August, a commercial during Sunday football brought a tear to my eye thinking about the countless hours I spent hoping to someday be on the greatest physical competition game show of the '90s: American Gladiators.
"We're not going to completely reinvent the wheel here, but we're making it better, faster and stronger," said an NBC exec. Is he going to credit Kanye West for those adjectives there?

NBC will be bringing back the hit show, which ran from 1989 to 1996. The new 'Gladiators' will follow eight gladiators (four male and four female) as they take on more regular-ish people. The spin, as NBC suggests, is that "players will be given the opportunity to train for their match -- and viewers will be given a glimpse of their personalities prior to the actual competish."

....Is that really an incentive to watch? What I really care about is if they're bringing back that hamster ball challenege, or if they're still going to use tennis balls in The Eliminator.

The show was set to tape this month, but because of the writer's strike, it's looking more like January of next year.

Critics are saying that NBC is sinking to new lows by bringing back the show, but honestly, I'm going to check it out. But I really hope they bring back Nitro and Diamond, and they're like, 45 years old and still whooping ass.

Back in the board room

The cast of NBC's season seven of The Apprentice, which will be a celebrity edition, was announced Monday, even though the media had knowledge of the cast last month and was sworn to secrecy.

So NBC controls the media now? If the contestants are out in New York and someone sees them, too bad--secret blown--big deal.

Participating in the new season are: country singer Trace Adkins, model/actress Carol Alt, actor Stephen Baldwin, Olympic gymnast Nadia Comaneci, Playmate Tiffany Fallon, Olympic softball player Jennie Finch, producer Nely Galan, actor Marilu Henner, boxer Lennox Lewis, Apprentice contestant Omarosa, America’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan, UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, actor Vincent Pastore and Kiss singer Gene Simmons.

...WHO?!

The Donald said 125 celebrities were vying for a spot on the show and he had a difficult time whittling it down to 14. It makes you wonder who the other 111 scrubs were that didn't make the cut.

Hell hath no fury like a creepy priest

A creepy priest, who has stalked John McEnroe because he assaulted him in 7th grade, has set his Godly sight on Conan O'Brien. No worries--he's been arrested.

Father David Ajemian has been "tracking" Conan since they went to Harvard together. He even contacted Conan's parents in their Massachusetts home.

In previous letters he's sent, signed as "Padre," and written on his church's letterhead, he mentios shooting Conan at his Manhattan high-rise and kidnap him like Robert DeNiro's character does to Jerry Lewis in "The King of Comedy." He wants a "public confession" or a "spot on Conan's couch."

Maybe they'll bring him on while the writers are on strike?

To catch a bachelor

He's attractive, loaded and likes to rape young women - he's perfect for our new reality show!

A Boston attorney once considered as a candidate for the first season of ABC's "The Bachelor" is, according to authorities, a serial rapist.

He's charged with the rape and attempted rape of two 19-year-old women in 2004 and 2006. He also allegedly drugged and then raped an 18-year-old college student in a Miami Beach club. Posecutors also alleged that he took one of the womento Neiman Marcus and bought her a $700 dress and $250 shoes, took he back to his apartment and slammed her head against a door and knocked a phone from her hand as she tried to dial 911.

Did this guy read "Loves Music, Loves to Dance" by Mary Higgins Clark, or what? That must have been some Neiman Marcus dress...

How terrible would this have looked for ABC had they actually hired this serial rapist to be the bachelor, Mr. Perfect, for the show's first season? Funny, I thought it was NBC that tried to catch the predators...

Sexyyyyy