The Jerc Store: Being a loser ain't just for the boys anymore

WARNING: SPOILERS

Congratulations to Biggest Loser Couples winner Ali Vincent, who became the reality show's first female winner last night.

In a live, two-hour broadcast, host Alison Sweeney first revealed the results of America's vote, a twist that would determine if it would be heavily favored front-runner Roger or the once-competitive-now-weepy Mark in the show's final three...And America chose Roger.

With Roger and the two female finalists--Ali and Kelly--backstage, the first hour of the show was chock-full of montages (for some reason I couldn't get Team America out of my head), showing the contestants' struggles on the ranch and their training at home. Those 17 contestants who were voted off in the previous weeks each weighed in for a chance to win $100,000. And remember...Biggest Loser goes by percentage of weight lost, not total pounds!

Curtis, who was eliminated in week two, went from 381 lbs to 231

lbs - that's a loss of 150 lbs for you non-mathematicians. Unbelievable. He was in the lead for the prize money until my absolute fav DAN came out (looking all handsome) and stole it away. Dan started at 310 and lost 136 lbs--or 43.86% of his body weight. Love him!

Unfortunately for Dan (left), his lead was short lived and big bad Bernie immediately took it away after the scale showed he lost 130 lbs (45.3%) of his original body weight. And then there was Mark ("Mahhk"), who made Bernie break a sweat one more time when he came 1 POUND short of beating him. I left the room for a second, but I'd be comfortable in betting he shed a tear or two. In fact, at some point during the show, Alison Sweeney cracked on Mahhk for being a crybaby. Ha!

Then on to the real competition. More montages of Ali eating frozen yogurt at 2 a.m., Roger plateauing and Kelly expressing displeasure with her herniated disk.

In the end, Ali--who had been eliminated in week four, but was accepted back onto the show in a mid-season twist--locked up the title of Biggest Loser. Much like Rock of Love's Ambre, the winner was given a second chance and never looked back. (Yes, anything to mention the greatest show ever made.)