Friday, October 31, 2008

BOO!

Happy Halloween from The Jerc Store!

So, what are we gonna see more of this year: Political figures (most notably Sarah Palin) or Heath Ledger's The Joker? Maybe it'll be the rebirth of Britney Spears. What am I being? That's a secret ;)

I haven't been this excited about Halloween in awhile, so bring on the trick-or-treaters and crappy candy corn - it's Halloween weekend!

[and Happy Birthday, Rachie!]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Another curse broken

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies: Under manager Charlie Manuel, the "Phightins" beat out a young Tampa Bay Rays team to win the World Series, 4 games to 1.

Most of the country didn't really care about this series (as evidenced by a 25% drop in ratings from 2007), but it was still pretty exciting.

...and hopefully I don't have to bail out my friends from jail tonight.

After a 3-2 Philadelphia win in Game One, Tampa Bay struck back Thursday to even the series. The Phils then stormed back after a 90-minute rain delay Saturday, winning in one of the oddest endings to a game I've ever seen [click here to read the recap]. Then came Sunday, when the Rays just basically rolled over and died--even Phil's pitcher Joe Blanton jacked one out of the park.

Then we had the controversial Game Five. On a cold and rainy Monday night, the Phillies struck early, going up 2-0 on a Shane Victorino single in the first. Tampa Bay's slumping stars finally got a little something going in the top of the fourth, making it 2-1. The elements started to take over in the fifth inning, but Commissioner Bud Selig allowed the game to continue long enough for the Rays to manufacture another run off Phillies ace Cole Hamels. The tarps came out and the Phillies fans cried foul.

After rain and snow --yes, snow-- Tuesday, the teams took the field tonight, 46 hours after Game Five's suspension. The 3-inning game, which required an exorbitant amount of strategy, began with a lead-off double by Geoff Jenkins, followed by a sacrifice bunt by Jimmy Rollins and an RBI single from Jayson Werth. Tampa Bay's Rocco Baldelli jacked one over the fence in the top of the 7th, tying the game at 3, but not for long: Pedro Feliz put the Phils back on top in the bottom of the 7th and Brad "Lights Out" Lidge came in in the top of the 9th to shut down the Rays and bring Philadelphia its first championship since 1987.

[NOTE] Before I get into my schpeel and get scathing comments in respone to this post, I have a guest writer on-deck to write a "Yay Philadelphia" post in the coming day, so chill out on the hate messages. Now, on to my rant...

I grudgingly congratulate the Phillies because--being from south Jersey--I've just had it with the bandwagon fans who have come out of the woodwork the last month, and especially the last week. I know it's to be expected, but it's just obnoxious. Philadelphia was a city that was all about "bleeding green" for its Eagles for the last several years, and now that the Eagles are in last place, these people are jumping ship and "painting the town red," as they say. Suddenly everyone remembers that Philadelphia has a baseball team and their clothing, cars, away messages and Facebook statuses are overwrought with Phillies exclamations. You talk about bleeding green--I think I'm vomiting red. (That doesn't sound very healthy, eh?)



But hey, congraulations to all the real fans. Your curse is over. Now you can stop complaining. Hey, now you're just like everyone else. Now you've just gotta win 24 more World Series titles to catch up with the Yankees, haaaa. Oh, and the Eagles still suck.

RELATED LINKS
Or don't blame it on the rain...
Blame it on the rain
Taco, taco, taco!
World Series set to go
Boston wins World Snoozefest
Speedy Gonzalez
Yo quiero free taco
Dem's fightin' Phils

Major FAILs of the week

I'm starting a new weekly feature at The Jerc Store: "Major FAILs of the week" will be a selection of hilarious 'fail' photos from failblog.org. The site encourages you to share "fails, pwns and owns with the world" by sending in your photos/videos to failpictures@gmail.com.

So without further ado, here are your major FAILs of the week...

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Grandma-ma

So it's pretty offbeat when a 56-year-old woman gives birth, and even more so when a 56-year-old woman gives birth to triplets. But how about when the kids she's birthing are actually her grandkids.

Jaci Dalenberg, of Cleveland, was acting as a surrogate mother for her daughter, Kim Conseno. She gave birth to identical twin girls and their fraternal sister Oct. 11 by way of C-section.

The babies were born more than two months premature and each weighed less than 3 pounds, but are said to be doing well.

According to a spokeswoman, the 56-year-old offered her surrogate service to the daughter when she and her husband, Joe, were waiting to adopt. The couple used vitro fertilization and the embryos were implanted into Dalenberg's uterus.

Joe and Kim also have an 18- and 13-year-old. You can check out their "Our Life With Triplets and and Teens 'Oh My'" blog.

So...what do the kids call Dalenberg? Mama? Grandma? Grandmamama?

Pot-luck taco

I hope you all remembered to visit your local Taco Bell today for a free Crunchy Seasoned Beef Taco. And sorry if you're just seeing this now: The special, offered because Jason Bartlett stole a base in Game One of the World series, was only from 2-6 p.m. today.

But if you did get your taco, I'd be willing to bet it didn't come with the toppings that one Colorado couple got during a recent trip to a Del Taco restaurant...

The couple called local authorities Oct. 16 when they discovered a small baggie of marijuana in their taco order they pick up at Del Taco.

Police said Dennis Klermund, the employee who waited on the husband, initially denied that the pot was his; he later admitted the bag was for his friend when a drug-sniffing dog found marijuana in a locker.

The 26-year-old, who is no longer employed by Del Taco, faces possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

"If there was no television, this guy would be living in a tree"

I swear, I will get a 'Hills' update soon: I passively watched last night, and while the episode was pretty bland, I did find some things to poke fun at. I'll have to On Demand-it-up over the next few days and try to put together a comprehensive Hills fest of the last three episodes.

In the meantime, check out Lauren's appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night.

The first few minutes are somewhat awkward, with Letterman straight up telling Lauren that she's the reason why people on The Hills hate each other...and she has no idea how to react.

Lauren then discusses the show, the cast, her upcoming books and plans for the future--or tries to, as Letterman interrupts her every 2.5 seconds. Still, LC manages to slip in a great jab at Spencer (around 2:15 in).

Overall, Lauren seems pretty daft, but she's probably just too creeped out by Letterman drooling all over her. Check it out, particularly around 5:45 when Letterman starts giving his thoughts on Brody.



RELATED LINKS
Lauren Conrad: Over 'The Hills'
Head from 'The Hills'
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"

Or don't blame it on the rain...

[UPDATE] The remainder of Game Five will be played tomorrow, Wednesday, beginning at 8:37 p.m.

NOTE:
This is a special-guest feature from my friend, Dave, who is the biggest Philadelphia sports fan I know. As an anti-Philadelphia sports fan myself, I obviously did not plan to write a sympathetic post in opposition of the events of last night's World Series Game Five, but I know that the suspension is drawing huge criticism and who better to air the grievances than a tortured Philadelphia sports soul?


The stage was set last night. It was supposed to be the night that the so-called curse was lifted, and Philadelphia had a sports championship to celebrate.

God had other plans.

We all know what happened: Delayed after 5 ½ innings; play will resume when "weather conditions permit." [see the logistics surrounding the suspension, below]

No one can be blamed for what happened with the weather. If it’s going to rain, it’s going to rain. Nothing can be done; however, the way it was handled was perhaps the biggest disgrace that Commissioner Bud Selig has ever been apart of. And if you’re a baseball fan, you know there were many--including but not limited to the tie at the all star game in 2002, and the continuous blind eye to blatant use of performance-enhancing drugs.

What the casual fan may not have seen last night was Selig’s post-game press conference, which was an absolute joke. It was an obvious attempt to deflect blame off of himself. You can go back and read the transcript yourself, but he essentially blames the groundskeeper, and then the weatherman at the stadium for letting it get out of hand.

The real problem, however, may not even be Bud Selig; it is rooted in the fact that these games don’t start until about 8:45 pm. There is no reason that these games can’t start at 7:30 or 8:00 on the dot. Major League Baseball wonders why kids aren’t as interested in baseball as they used to be. Perhaps it’s because they’ve never been allowed, or physically able to stay up until 1 am to see a team experience the joy of winning a World Series.

Nevertheless, the city of Philadelphia deserves better. The wait is now on and the worst part is, the fans of this city don’t even have a clue as to when the final 3 ½ innings of this game are going to be played. The anticipation is intense.

Look at it this way Philadelphia: The wait has been 23 years, 6 months, 28 days since the 76ers completed the sweep of the L.A. Lakers in the 1983 NBA finals. What’s one (or two) more days?

And hey, it could be worse: Game Four of the 1911 World Series between the Giants and the Athletics in Philadelphia was postponed for six days due to rain.

RELATED LINKS
Blame it on the rain
Taco, taco, taco!
World Series set to go
Boston wins World Snoozefest
Speedy Gonzalez
Yo quiero free taco

Blame it on the rain

Updated Oct. 28, 2 p.m.

Yeah, you like that Milli Vanilli reference?

Anyway. For the first time in World Series history, a game has been suspended due to the weather. Due to a rain/snow storm hitting the tri-state area (yes, snow in October), the remainder of the game will be played tomorrow (Wednesday), beginning at 8:37 p.m.

Game Five--the potential championship-clinching game for the Philadelphia Phillies--was suspended in the bottom of the sixth inning, after the Tampa Bay Rays scored a run to tie the game at 2.

Thankfully, baseball officials said it was not an option to make the game official after five innings, determining the Fall Classic winner by way of a called game.

When the game does resume, it will be picked up from where it was left off; fans and commentators have criticized the determination, stating that the call should have come at the beginning of the sixth inning (before Cole Hamels gave up the run in poor weather conditions), or that frame should be erased and the game should resume from the top of the inning.

Check back later for a special commentary and updates on the game.

RELATED LINKS
Taco, taco, taco!
World Series set to go
Boston wins World Snoozefest
Speedy Gonzalez
Yo quiero free taco

Decision 2008

Today, we are exactly one week away from what is being touted as one of the most important elections in the history of America.

Still haven't decided for whom you're voting Nov. 4? Take a look at the Match-O-Matic. You'll answer a series of questions on hot issues (health care, taxes, the environment), and the Match-O-Matic will do all the work of picking a candidate for you!

You may not completely agree with it, but if nothing else, you'll gain a better understanding of each candidate's platform.

You can also refer to this Web site.

...And if you've already got your man picked out, take a look at this interesting dance-off between the Republicans and the Dems. ;)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Baby Mama's got a little one

You might have noticed that "Saturday Night Live" star Amy Poehler was sporting a little more than a baby bump in recent weeks, but bump-be-gone! Poehler is officially a mommy!

The "Baby Mama" star gave birth to her baby, Archie Arnett, on Saturday. The baby, born to Poehler and husband Will Arnett, was 8 lbs, 1 oz.

SNL has been infamously bad the last few yeares, but the election has revitalized a few of the skits. In honor of Poehler, I'm posting a video of the "Palin Rap," which made me laugh incredibly hard. It's gonna be a shame when Poehler leaves this year.


RELATED LINKS
Poehler peacing out
Fierce to the trannieth degree

Friday, October 24, 2008

J-Hud's mother, brother killed

[BREAKING NEWS] The body of a young boy found today in a car has been confirmed as that of Julian King, Jennifer Hudson's 7-year-old nephew.

Several news agencies are reporting that the mother and brother of singer/actress Jennifer Hudson were found dead today in Chicago.

A male family member discovered the body of Hudson's mother, Darnell Donerson, 57, and police later found the body of Hudson's brother, Jason.

The shootings are believed to be domestic.

[UPDATE] Police confirm they have taken a person into custody but are not saying who it is. News reports, however, say that person is Hudson's brother-in-law, William Balfour. Balfour's mother has also acknowledged her son has been questioned about the shootings.

Authorities issued an Amber Alert for Hudson's 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, and were seeking a 1994 white Chevrolet Suburban.

The alert said the child was possibly abducted, and accompanied by a man — considered armed and dangerous — who was a suspect in the double homicide investigation. Records with the Illinois Department of Corrections show the man, who has not been charged with a crime, is on parole and spent nearly seven years in prison for attempted murder, vehicular hijacking and possessing a stolen vehicle.

Newsfeed eating up lies

I heard a funny story this morning about a guy in Australia who took a "sick day," but got busted because his boss read his Facebook status: "Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f..k it i'm still trashed. SICKIE WOO!"


I laughed out loud when I heard it, thinking, "See? This is exactly what they told us in college about the professional backlash possible in putting dumb crap on social networking sites."(Thanks, Prof. Brown!)

An e-mail, presumably between Doyle and his boss, surfaced on the Internet shortly thereafter: The boss asks the 21-year-old AAPT worker for a medical certificate to prove he deserved the day off, and he writes back saying he did not need a medical certificate for one day's leave. The boss then discloses his proof behind the doubt, and Doyle says, "HAHAHA LMAO epic fail. No worries man."

This story is all over the damn Internet... but now it appears that the now-famous Kyle Doyle might have been framed! [DUN DUN DUN]
"Following an investigation into AAPT's email records, we can confirm the email exchange between two of our employees ... never occurred." -- statement from AAPT.
It appears that either someone set Doyle up--even his mother is vouching for him. Yeah, set up or he set this up to get his 15 minutes of fame, mmm? Either way, pretty comical.

As of this morning, Doyle's status reportedly read: "trying to hide :-/" and he had received at least 175 personal messages regarding the incident.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Taco, taco, taco!

Hey, if you run into Tampa Bay Ray Jason Bartlett anytime soon, make sure to say 'gracias' -- Thanks to the speedy shortstop, we've all got a free taco coming to us!

On Oct. 28 (Tuesday) between 2 and 6 p.m., you can head out to your local Taco Bell and request one free Crunchy Seasoned Beef Taco ala the fast food chain's "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" promotion.

Jason Bartlett stole second off the Philadelphia Phillies' Carlos Ruiz in the fifth inning of tonight's Game One World Series game. Yum!

Taco Bell ran the same promotion during last year's World Series. Boston Red Sox outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury stole a base in Game Two.

RELATED LINKS
World Series set to go
Boston wins World Snoozefest
Speedy Gonzalez
Yo quiero free taco

EMPLOYEE: DUMB B----

A Missouri man was shocked to find a racial slur on his Journeys receipt after returning a pair of shoes this weekend.

Keith Slater, 22, bought an $80 pair of shoes at the store, but later returned them after finding a better bargain at another store. Slater got his money back, but was later shocked to see that the receipt identified him as "Dumb N-----"

Like, really? Did anyone there think that someone somewhere might possibly notice the N-word printed on their receipt? My God, that's stupidity!

By the time the college student returned to Journeys that night, the store was closed. When he came back on Saturday, employees said that a generic code had been entered with the return and that's what appeared.

But, Slater's father said, there were six or seven choices that came up when that code was entered and the one the employee had chosen was at the bottom of the list. Probably not a coincidence then, eh?

The employee who rang up Slater was fired, according to a statement issued by Genesco Inc, the company that owns Journeys.
"While we are continuing to investigate this incident, it appears an employee in one of our stores entered highly inappropriate statements in a form used to process a merchandise return...Needless to say, such an act was not authorized by Journeys, and will not be tolerated." --Genesco, Inc.
The Slaters received an apology call today from Genesco's corporate office, and have also been contacted by the Justice Department. The department will reportedly refer the case to the FBI to investigate whether a civil rights violation has occurred.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Goldie on healthcare?






For whom would your dead goldfish vote?

The short on Port

My apologies for the lack of 'Hills' recaps lately. Admittedly, I've missed the last two episodes and have had no time to catch up...and until that happens, here's a little teaser for the new Hills spinoff, "The City," starring Whitney.

From what I can gather, there will be a bit less airhead conversation and bit more focus on the career path than The Hills offered; that's a good thing if we're trying to influence young women to get excited about being successful in a professional sense, but it's probaaably not going to be that good for ratings.

Then again, if Lauren makes good on her promise to quit filming the reality show, then I guess "The City" is all we got.

Hey, at least there's a guy with a hot Australian accent!



RELATED LINKS
Lauren Conrad: Over "The Hills"
Head from "The Hills"

Sunday, October 19, 2008

World Series set to go

On deck for the 2008 World Series: Tampa Bay Rays versus the Philadelphia Phillies. Either way, history will be made.



The Rays beat the Red Sox tonight in dramatic fashion, and I could not be happier. Well, I could be if the Yankees didn't suck so badly this year, but hey -- F Boston!

Rays pitcher Matt Garza kept the Sox to one hit--a Dustin Pedroia HR--through six innings. Rookie Evan Longoria tied the game in the fourth, and in the fifth, Rocco Baldelli singled in Willy Aybar, who subsequently homered in the 7th, putting the Rays up 3-1.

The next four Rays pitchers allowed just one hit total, and September call-up David Price looked to shut down the Sox in the ninth. After walking Jason Bay, Price struck out Mark Kotsay, who broke his bat earlier in the game out of frustration. Sox captain Jason Varitek, batting .053 in the ALCS, embarrassingly whiffed on a slider from Price. Jew Lowrie grounded out to end the game, and the young Rays team dog piled it up in the middle of the field.

After changing their moniker, logo and colors, the Tampa Bay Rays--in their 11th MLB season--set their club record for most wins in a season, landed their first division title, and set a record for most wins by a worst-to-first team.

The Rays will host the Phillies Wednesday night in Game One. I guess it'll be rally towel versus cowbell...?

The Phillies, who clinched a big-show berth last week, have the weight of William Penn on their shoulders. For those of you unaware, "the curse" is allegedly to blame for no major Philadelphia sporting team (arena football does not count) having won a championship since the One Liberty Place skyscraper--which dwarfed the city's statue of founder William Penn--was completed in 1987. The last team to a win a 'chip was the 1983 76ers.

The city, still haunted by Joe Carter's walk-off home run in the 1993 World Series, is hoping this Phillies team will bring a seemingly long overdue parade down the streets of Philadelphia. (And apologies to my friends, but as a New York sports fan living in southern New Jersey, I would love nothing more than to see this curse continue for another 30 years, but that's just me.)


And don't forget - Taco Bell is again offering its "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" promotion. If a base is stolen during any game of the World Series, the fast food chain will offer a free Crunchy Seasoned Beef Taco to its customers. If the base is stolen during Games 1-4, the deal will take place Oct. 28; if Games 5-7, then Nov. 3. I'll keep you posted. Last year, we said 'gracias' to speedster Jacoby Ellsbury, but I guess we won't be relying on him --or any other BoSox player-- to do that for us this year, haaaaa.


RELATED LINKS
Boston wins World Snoozefest
Speedy Gonzalez
Yo quiero free taco

'Feast' your eyes on this world record

Maybe the country of Iran should change its name to Hungary (haaa):

On Friday, organizers in Tehran attempted to break the Guinness World Record for Largest Sandwich, but locals ate the sandwich before it could be measured.

The 1,500-meter-long sandwich was going to be stuffed with 700 kg of ostrich meat and 700 kg of chicken, but people rushed forward and devoured it "in minutes," according to a witness.

Mmmm, Ostrich-chicken sandwich - however could they resist?

Three Guinness representatives on hand had not yet measured the meal, but organizers of the event said video taken could still prove that the sandwich is (or was) capable of holding the record.

The current "largest sandwich" on record hales from the U-S-of-A (pictured right): Wild Woody’s Chill and Grill of Roseville, Michigan created a 5,440-lb (or 2467-kg) sandwich in 2005.

RELATED LINKS
'When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza line'
Ear today, hair tomorrow
Dare I say, 'Where's the beef?'
Hiccup in the plan
That's haute
Who wants to break stuff?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

This is news?

Now, I once questioned the newsworthiness of a story I wrote around the holidays about a woman who had been searching for a fruitcake recipe for 30 years, but seriously CNN? This is news?



Please refer to artistisahorse.com. You can get the horse's painting (not a painting of a horse, a painting by a horse) for $900!

Lauren Conrad: Over 'The Hills'

Uh-oh 'Hills' fans - Lauren is talking about calling it quits!

The Hills protagonist told Extra! last night that, "It's coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I'm ready to kind of walk away. I've been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time."

Ahhh, suddenly it makes sense why they are not pushing Whitney's life on us!

Lauren apparently wants to walk away from MTV's most popular show to tour college campuses and talk to co-eds about domestic violence and the like. (Similar to past Real World-ers.)

But wait--there's more: Lauren and Heidi are friends again!

USmagazine reports that the two made up at a Malibu Rum sponsored dinner at STK in Los Angeles Tuesday night. Heidi came over and congratulated Lauren on her clothing line and the two hugged. Daww, how sweet...but I didn't believe they were ever really fighting in the first place.

RELATED LINKS
Head from 'The Hills'
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Drinking makes you dumb!

Alright, that's not completely true...but a new study has found that drinking alcohol--even in moderate amounts--can shrink your brain.

I know a few people who are in trouble...

Is this significant? Judge for yourself: Does drinking alcohol shrink your brain?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Whole lotta De La Hoya... but not that one

VH1 is at it again - Another "Love" loser will be getting her own show...

Enter former "Rock of Love II" bimbo Daisy De La Hoya (yes, she's related) in the network's upcoming show, "Daisy of Love." Do they not realize that the title of that makes absolutely no sense? Do they not have anyone at VH1 who come up with something--anything--better than that?

The show will air in Spring 2009, but I'm only watching it if Bret Michaels makes an appearance...Oh, who am I kidding? I will probably be mildly addicted to this, even though on-camera Daisy is close to braindead and sounds perptually stoned. She just be bi-sexual and go on "Shot at Love."

Casting for the show is apparently based on an Internet vote (ala "I Love New York" and "Real World Hollywood"), so if you're really interested in dating the Daisy Duck look-a-like, click here and upload your profile. Round 1 ends in 33 days. Let me know if you're doing it; I'll start a Jerc Store campaign and rally the readers behind you. It'll like, be totally, like awesome, ya knoowww?
RELATED LINKS
Giving me 'something to believe in'
Belting and blogging it out with Bret
"Surgery could make me hotter. Surgery couldn't make her smarter"
Bret leaves the ladies 'Charmed'
Open up and say, 'You're an idiot for getting my name tatooed on your neck'

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Luck of the flush

Ever since my dad told me the story about how my uncle won $10,000 on a scratch-off lottery ticket last week, I've mentioned it in casual conversation whenever family, the lottery or luck have come up...

And then during a delicious dinner at The Melting Pot this weekend, my friend told me about Kory McFarren, the Kansas man who won $20,000 on a scratch-off twice this year.

Wow, that's really luck--Wait a sec...Haven't I written about him before? Ohhhh, that's right--he's the guy whose girlfriend was stuck in the bathroom and on the toilet for two years.

Yup. The guy involved in one of the most unbelievable stories I've ever heard struck gold twice in one year. He cashed in his winning $2 Bonus Crossword ticket Monday. (I am addicted to that crossword one, too, by the way.)

In July, McFarren received six months of probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor mistreatment of a dependent adult.

He called police in February when "something was wrong" with his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, who had essentially been living in the bathroom for the last two years and was literally stuck on the toilet for about a month. The seat had adhered to sores on her body and she underwent several months of treatment following police intervention.

McFarren said the woman developed a phobia about leaving the bathroom which stemmed from beatings she received in her childhood. To read more about the incident, click here.

Thanks, Jax!


RELATED LINKS

Literally stuck on the john

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Head from 'The Hills'

It appears that MTV is trying to suck its 'Hills' franchise dry: Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad's friend and co-worker, will be getting her very own spinoff in 2009.

Rumors of the spinoff have been swirling for awhile now, but MTV announced today that Whitney will star in "The City" --clever title. The show will air in the spring.

Cameras will follow Whitney from LA to NYC, where she will work for designer Diane Von Furstenberg. reunite with "a best friend from her past" and meet "a guy she's head-over-heels for," according to the release.

I mean, I'm all for the "normal" girl on the overly-hyped television show having her day, but do we really think Whitney can carry the show on her own? I mean, she's intelligent and beautiful, but let's face it: She's just an ancillary character in the drama-tastic world of The Hills--that's the downside of having substance and integrity.

MTV is already heading off our worries with this exaggerated description of the show:
"Surrounded by all new friends, pursuing a fresh love life and starting to work in the upper echelon of the fashion industry is a lot to navigate for a new girl in the big city... especially one who has everything to lose. In a city full of people with their own agendas, Whitney will have to quickly decide who she can trust and who to stay away from." - MTV

You know, I thought Whitney was smart for shying away from the cameras during The Hills and focusing on her career, but I'd say this seems like a step in the wrong direction. Still, it will give me some more meaningless television to watch, so...okay.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Don't Vote!

Voter registration deadlines are a-coming! [Find your state's registration deadline here.] Are you registered? Do you know by when you need to do it? Do you care???

Maybe watching this PSA below will make you give a hoot - and if nothing else, Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman will give you a laugh. Check out a slue of celebs telling you, "DON'T VOTE!"


Oops! Sis did "it" again?

[BREAKING NEWS?] I was about to tell my boyfriend that he's been living under a rock when he sent me a link to a news story called, "Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant"--She gave birth to that kid three months ago, duhhh!

But when I actually read the story, I was shocked to find that Britney's little sis might have another bun in the oven.
The National Enquirer is reporting that Spears is pregnant with her second baby, after giving birth to baby Maddie Briann (wtf kind of name is that?) on June 19.

[UPDATE]
A rep for Jamie Lynn told E! that the 17-year-old is not pregnant. A source who lives in Jamie Lynn's native Kentwood, La., tells E! News: "I talk to [her mom] Lynne all the time. Believe me, she would have mentioned if that little girl is expecting again. That's just a bunch of made-up crap."

Here are some of the tidbits the Enquirer got from an "insider":
“Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical. Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding." - an inside source on Jamie Lynn's rumored pregnancy.
A home pregnancy test came back positive, the source said, and apparently the former "Zoey 101" star's friends are urging her to terminate.

And hey, who the baby daddy???

Who knows if any of this is true, but it seems like one Spears has just gotten her life back on track while the other one is following the deadbeat beaten path.

Thanks, TJS!

RELATED LINKS
Baby mama drama
Pregnancy 101

Monday, October 6, 2008

"If she never met Spencer..."

So I've been slacking on my Hills updates lately--I've been a bit uninspired. Let's see if we can get back on track this week...

This week's episode was completely sans Stephanie - already an upgrade. (In case you missed last week's episode, Stephanie and Doug had been "dating," he called her a lost puppy to hide his shame for macking it with her, Lauren coldly consoled her. It was thrilling.)

There was much more Audrina in this episode, mostly following her on awkward dates. How terrible do you feel for these guys whose first date with a hot girl is put on display for all of America to see? Anyway, Audrina goes out with Colin twice, but she repeatedly brings up Justin Bobby. Good first date etiquette. Poor Colin tries his hardest to point out every discernable difference between him and JB --including their drunk personas (charming)-- but Audrina just can't get over that mumbling, inconsiderate, combat-boot-wearing Justin.

On to more important matters... Heidi and Holly discuss the Lauren situation ad nauseum: "You don't think I want to be catching up with her, seeing how her life has been over the last two years?" Heidi says to her sister -- Hmm, I'm pretty sure that Heidi could turn on MTV at any given moment and be able to catch herself up on the life of LC. (Or she could read this blog.)

Cut to commercial - Did anyone catch the Sonic ad that (I think) was meant to replicate The Hills, like, kind of? You might not have - It was a quick 30-second spot, but I found it really hard to concentrate on anything after they said 'banana pudding shake.' Too much salivating.

During weekly chat with Whitney, Lauren presents letter from Heidi, which Whit proceeds to read out loud. And the content - Can we say laaaame? The letter sounded like it was written by a polite kindergartner. She even signed it "Heidi Montag," like Lauren wouldn't have known who it was from without the surname, or even based on inane content alone. LC also aptly points out that even though Heidi apologizes in the letter, she still cannot blame Spencer for what happened.

Meanwhile, Heidi and Holly are chatting about the letter when -DUNDUNDUN- Spencer menacingly enters stage left and a hush falls over the room. He and Holly get into a sass-fight: Holly says Lauren "straight up" won't be friends with Heidi if Spencer is in the picture, but Spencer shushes Holly and smuggly takes credit for the discord between the friends.

Next week we've got Spencer threatening to move out if Holly isn't gone and Audrina taking her top off. Scaaandalous.

Here's another round of my Hills drinking game!
  • Everytime Lo creepily stares at Holly, making comparisons to Heidi.
  • Whenever Justin Bobby speaks "British"
  • Whenever editing makes an awkward date look more awkward.
  • Anytime you wonder what your life would would be like if Heidi never met Spencer.
RELATED LINKS
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"