Just what the Dr. ordered

It's not exactly free health care, but as of right now, you can now get a free 'appointment' with Dr. Pepper.

The soft-drink maker said earlier this year that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if Guns N' Roses released its "Chinese Democracy" album before the end of 2008. The album, which has been famously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale today (Sunday).

And what the heck is the connection here?

"It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love. So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic." - Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt.

Coupons for a free 20-ounce Dr. Peppers will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can = no no
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Happy Birthday, Leen!

Drinking makes you dumb!

Alright, that's not completely true...but a new study has found that drinking alcohol--even in moderate amounts--can shrink your brain.

I know a few people who are in trouble...

Is this significant? Judge for yourself: Does drinking alcohol shrink your brain?

"If she never met Spencer..."

So I've been slacking on my Hills updates lately--I've been a bit uninspired. Let's see if we can get back on track this week...

This week's episode was completely sans Stephanie - already an upgrade. (In case you missed last week's episode, Stephanie and Doug had been "dating," he called her a lost puppy to hide his shame for macking it with her, Lauren coldly consoled her. It was thrilling.)

There was much more Audrina in this episode, mostly following her on awkward dates. How terrible do you feel for these guys whose first date with a hot girl is put on display for all of America to see? Anyway, Audrina goes out with Colin twice, but she repeatedly brings up Justin Bobby. Good first date etiquette. Poor Colin tries his hardest to point out every discernable difference between him and JB --including their drunk personas (charming)-- but Audrina just can't get over that mumbling, inconsiderate, combat-boot-wearing Justin.

On to more important matters... Heidi and Holly discuss the Lauren situation ad nauseum: "You don't think I want to be catching up with her, seeing how her life has been over the last two years?" Heidi says to her sister -- Hmm, I'm pretty sure that Heidi could turn on MTV at any given moment and be able to catch herself up on the life of LC. (Or she could read this blog.)

Cut to commercial - Did anyone catch the Sonic ad that (I think) was meant to replicate The Hills, like, kind of? You might not have - It was a quick 30-second spot, but I found it really hard to concentrate on anything after they said 'banana pudding shake.' Too much salivating.

During weekly chat with Whitney, Lauren presents letter from Heidi, which Whit proceeds to read out loud. And the content - Can we say laaaame? The letter sounded like it was written by a polite kindergartner. She even signed it "Heidi Montag," like Lauren wouldn't have known who it was from without the surname, or even based on inane content alone. LC also aptly points out that even though Heidi apologizes in the letter, she still cannot blame Spencer for what happened.

Meanwhile, Heidi and Holly are chatting about the letter when -DUNDUNDUN- Spencer menacingly enters stage left and a hush falls over the room. He and Holly get into a sass-fight: Holly says Lauren "straight up" won't be friends with Heidi if Spencer is in the picture, but Spencer shushes Holly and smuggly takes credit for the discord between the friends.

Next week we've got Spencer threatening to move out if Holly isn't gone and Audrina taking her top off. Scaaandalous.

Here's another round of my Hills drinking game!

• Everytime Lo creepily stares at Holly, making comparisons to Heidi.
• Whenever Justin Bobby speaks "British"
• Whenever editing makes an awkward date look more awkward.
• Anytime you wonder what your life would would be like if Heidi never met Spencer.
  

RELATED LINKS
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change
"You always miss a best friend"

Wake up and smell the rabies

Part of the reason I'm posting at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday is because I had a latte about four hours ago and the caffeine is pulsating through my veins. Can't sleep, can't sleep, gotta write... But thank the Lord I didn't find what one Iowa woman recently found in her cup o' joe:

The woman went about her regular nightly routine, turning her automatic coffee maker on before bed and drinking her usual cup of coffee the next morning. Only when she went to clean the coffee filter out that night, she noticed there was a dead bat inside.

The bat had been flying around her house earlier, but she didn't think too much of it. Health officials said the bat was sent to a lab but that its brain was too cooked by the hot water to determine whether it had rabies. Can we say, 'Ew!'?

I don't know about you, but just looking at that bat picture right there freaks me out. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel after drinking bat brain juice.

The Iowa Department of Public Health said the woman has undergone rabies treatment anyway. Hey, if all else fails, maybe she'll have a part in a future Batman film, ehh? ehh?

"You always miss a best friend"

Good thing tonight's half-hour of "The Hills" coincided with halftime of the Cowboys/Eagles game, or else I would have been mad I missed an exciting football game for a pretty pathetic episode.

As the promos promised, Holly spends some time with her sister's sworn enemy after Heidi and (of course) Spencer express some dissatisfaction with the whole situation. Lauren's skeptical about spending more time with Holly because she doesn't want to cause more problems like she did while hanging out with Spencer's sister.

Back in the Hills' house, things are suddenly rainbows and sunshine with Lauren, Lo and Audrina - I'm sure all that prior drama wasn't scripted at all. The girls head out to Audrina's work function, which -- um, Audrina works? I guess they needed to switch up the scenery a bit; splicing subtitles over dark nightclub scenes probably got a bit old for the production crew.

Justin Bobby bails. Audrina complains about how he doesn't show her he cares. This all is soooo last season. Moving on...

Heidi has lunch with her co-worker and we get a glipse of creative editing at its finest: While Heidi is reminiscing about her friendship with Lauren, LC is simultaneously admitting to Stephanie that she misses being with Heidi because, well, predictably, "You always miss a best friend."

Tonight's ep was a yawn-fest in my opinion, but it seems like stuff's gonna hit the fan next week when Lauren travels to Italy, leaving Stephanie the opportunity to move in on Doug. I guess when the Cheshire Cat's away, the former drug addicts will play.

The next round of my 'Hills' drinking game:

• Every time you hear, "three musketeers" or "best friend."
  
• After every mention of an artist you've never heard of and their new music you don't care about.
• During any mention of nipple piercings.
  
• Whenever Holly is bland (pace yourself).
  
• Whenever you almost wish Spencer was in the episode more because these broads are putting you to sleep.
  

RELATED LINKS
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"
Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change

Boys make girls cry and something's gotta change

So I've been a bit tardy on my 'Hills' updates. I didn't have a chance to write about last week's episode, but all I really missed was stupid Lauren broke up with Doug for like, no reason. And then MTV threw me for a loop this week by putting a new episode on Sunday before the VMAs, in an obvious and pathetic attempt to get people to watch the lackluster awards show. So here's a double shot for you...

In "Boys Make Girls Cry," the crew jetsets to Vegas for the night to celebrate Frankie's birthday. Stephanie's former drug problem (click for a terrible mugshot) comes to light and Brody calls her a 'complete psycho,' sending her to the girls' hotel room in tears. Lauren imparts her wisdom -- "Don't cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you" -- and then compassionately tells Stephanie to stop crying because it will ruin her blue eyeliner and she really doesn't have time to retouch it.

Things continue to be awkward between Lauren and Audrina. Apparently they're growing in different directions. Like, Lauren is an aspiring fashion designer who doesn't actually design any clothing and Audrina is an aspiring actress whose acting gig is a part in a reality television show. Yeah. Completely different directions.

In other news, Holly makes good on her sister's offer to move out to Hollywood and into her and Spencer's apartment. While shooting for a high score on his personal arcade game, Spencer complains to Heidi about having to live with another girl and having to see extra tampons in the house (I'm not making that up).

The best part of this episode: "What would you do if you were me and you wake up in the morning, do your average thing, walk out to go work out and your sister’s half-naked on the rowing machine erasing my TiVo rowing her little ass off?" The next time my grandma comes to stay, if she erases "Gossip Girl" on TiVo, she's out on her ass. Straight up.

The episode ends with a garbage cliffhanger: Doug and Brody are in jail. GASP! Except cut to Monday's episode, "Something Has to Change," and we find they were actually just filling out paperwork in a casino holding cell after some lune accosted them on the floor. And who knows if that's even true.

This entire episode is a long and uneventful buildup to Lauren and Audrina's 30-second 'what is happening to our friendship' conversation.

In the meantime, we've got Spencer telling Holly to move out and Holly disappearing for --ohmygod-- a few hours. Then there's JustinBobby giving Audrina advice on the roommate situation. You know, JustinBobby's eloquence as of late has been quite surprising. Perhaps he was on drugs the last two season and has finally cleaned up his act. Maybe he attended the same rehab center as Stephanie. Maybe it's just the haircut.

In the end, Audrina and Lauren have their long-awaited conversation and ultimately make amends, but not without LC throwing in a teary jab about having to awkwardly bob her head at Audrina's "weird" concerts. Poor Audrina; she must not have known when she was approached by producers to befriend these girls that listening to alternative music and having friends who are not blond would make her an outcast.

They hug and make up. Now that Audrina and Lauren have seemingly put their differences behind them, it looks like MTV has the stage set for a Lauren/Heidi reconciliation. I guess we'll find out next week.

The next round of my 'Hills' drinking game:

• Every time Frankie looks like he's gonna drunkenly make out with someone in Vegas.
  
• Whenever you should feel bad for Stephanie, but don't.
  
• Everytime you hear some version of, "We used to be such good friends..."
  
• During every a cry fest. Take a shot when you see black tears.
  

RELATED LINKS
Back in 'The Hills'
"Drama follows them"

"Drama follows them"

In true MTV fashion, most of what was worth watching during Monday night's 'Hills' episode was already broadcast on previews for the show that ran throughout last week. But admittedly, that never stops me from tuning in...

Episode two focuses on Stephanie Pratt's birthday party -- Lauren is invited. Spencer and Heidi are invited, but pretend like they're not interested. Lo is going to tag along with Lauren, but Audrina might stop by. Doug is coming with Brody and Frankie.

Everyone attends and, much to my shock and surprise, awkward drama ensues!
Was anyone else completely confused by the Audrina/Lo interaction at the bar? Either Lo was bombed and giving Audrina googly eyes, or there was clearly something that happened off-camera. And after 30 seconds of switching close-ups of LC to Heidi to Spencer to Stephanie and back again, Spencer randomly barks, "Get those obnoxious girls out of here." Like, what? Kudos to Brody for peacing out of that drama cesspool.

The rest of the "good guys" follow suit, leaving Stephanie alone at her table with just "Speidi." Spencer maniacally laughs about the situation, probably because he feels empowered driving six people away from a VIP table and ruining his sister's birthday. Schmuck.

But the most gripping part of the episode (and that's dripping with sarcasm, I might add) is the conversation between Stephanie and Spencer in which we truly learn the depth of Spencer's wisdom. He tells his sister, "As long as you're running with that posse, you have nothing to do with my life. Straight up." But if that wasn't clear enough for her, he explains that attempting to get Spencer to get along with Lauren is like "trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along." I'm pretty sure he also used the term "un-brother" (in a noun form, nonetheless),

As promised, the next round of my 'Hills' drinking game:

• Every time you see an outfit made completely of sparkles.
• Every time you hear the word 'trust,' twice if it's from LC.
• Whenever you think that Kelly Cutrone is way too hideous to make people feel that awful about themselves.
  
• Every time there is foreshadowing of Stephanie going after Doug.
• Every time Doug is smoking hot.

RELATED LINKS
Back in 'The Hills'

Back in 'The Hills'

Old news now, I know, but this week has been nuts.

For those of you who didn't tune into MTV's "The Hills" season premiere Monday, you weren't alone: Apparently ratings are down nearly 30 percent from the March premiere.

We step right back into the drama surrounding the girls' new house during Audrina's birthday party. The long and short of it? Audrina has friends that don't have Gucci sunglasses and blond hair and apparently they're abhorrent enough to send Lo to her room for an hour while the party was in full swing. The two have a moderately heated conversation in the poolhouse wherein Audrina tells Lo that they'll never be friends (whether that was audio spliced in while Audrina is off camera or not, who knows).

Lauren's got a new guy named Doug. He's hot. They go on a date and it's pretty obvious Lauren gets her conversation topics from her latest Cosmo magazine: Doug orders a beer -- "I think your drink says a lot about you...It says you're a guy's guy." Such stimulating conversation. I guess this lends some more credibility to Gavin's take on dating LC from last this year.
Spencer and Heidi are seemingly happy again and in pure scripted drama fashion, Heidi's sister unexpectedly arrives to stay at their apartment for the weekend. Spencer throws a temper tantrum and insults the breakfast Holly makes for him. As she's getting into her car for the airport, she tosses out the possibility of her moving out there aaaand perhaps she'll stay with them while she looks for a place, which pisses off the Gerber baby. Holly in Hollywood -- I smell another spinoff!

Speaking to Ryan Seacrest on the radio recently, "Speidi" said they think that Lauren is sick of doing the show (and apparently she's expressed that this could be the last season of it). But regardless of what LC decides, Spencer and Heidi say they're "just beginning" and would gladly continue doing the show. Spencer even 'selflessly' volunteered to takeover the voice over narration job.

I think the way I'll handle this season is by creating a Hills drinking game, like, every time XYZ happens, you take a drink. For this premiere episode:

• Every time Heidi hisses, "That's my sister," to Spencer.
• Every time you see a red mohawk.
• Whenever you think about how much you used to love Lo.
• Every time you wonder, "What does Spencer actually do all day?"

Girl meets girl??

As most of my friends know, McFaddens in Philadelphia (particularly on 3rd Street) is a horrendous bar--terrible DJs, awful music and this obnoxious siren that goes off every 30 seconds.

But...had I known I would have been given the chance to make out with Topanga, I totally would have suffered through all that babel.

Yes folks, below you'll find a photo of Danielle Fishel at McFaddens this past weekend, making nice (and making out) with the locals...especially of the female variety.

*courtesy of collegehumor.com

Hopefully she didn't drive home afterward...

And where the heck is Cory!!? I'm sure that lovable brillo-head would have something snappy to say. Does anyone think it's ironic that she used to date gay *NSYNC-er Lance Bass?

RELATED LINKS:
Girl meets law

Free this time, I swear!

Okay, no joke this time: Tomorrow (May 15) is Dunkin Donuts Free Iced Coffee Day!


For some reason, the chain set the first day of spring as its annual giveaway day, but backed out at the last minute, leaving freebie-seekers feeling stupid at the counter and awkwardly paying for a drink they were only ordering because they thought it was free.

But tomorrow we will all be given the opportunity to imbibe some delicious and free iced coffee--regular or flavored! [click here to find a D&D location near you]. Enjoy!

UPDATE: After the original entry was posted, I saw a commercial for a free McDonalds giveaway today (May 15), as well.

Between 7 a.m. and 10:30 a.m., McDonalds will be giving away a free Southern Style Chicken Biscuit--new this month--with purchase of any medium or large drink. Nothing like fried chicken between two buttery (and fatty) biscuits to start your day!

From 10:30 a.m. til 7 p.m., the chain will give away free Southern Style Chicken Sandwich (I think it's got pickles on it or something) with purchase of medium or large beverages.

RELATED LINKS
Paying for your free iced coffee
Forgiveness, please

'Rehab' renewed

I don't think I ever wrote about VH1's "Celebrity Rehab" when it was on a few months ago (probably because it's not nearly as addictive as "Rock of Love"), but nonetheless, it turned out to be an extremely captivating and--can you believe this--real reality show.

And VH1 is bringing it back for another stint.

It appears as though Dr. Drew is back again, but there has been no confirmation on any cast members or when the next season will air. Stay tuned!

Paying for your free iced coffee

So I'm sorry about getting your iced coffee-loving hopes up on Friday with promises of Free Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee Day because the company was not actually giving away free iced coffee.

When I posted that link on Wednesday, the official site was advertising the freebie and telling you to invite your friends by entertain their e-mail addresses. Not really sure what happened between Wednesday night and Friday morning, but the doughnut maker had this to say on its press room page.

My apologies again, folks. Perhaps we'll get another shot at it sometime this summer?


Thanks to 'my fav redhead' for bringing that to my attention, and extra apologies to Dave for placating me and taking me to D&D, even though I'm an idiot.

Forgiveness, please

To any loyal readers--

My deepest apologies for not providing you with inane news stories, reality television updates and the like for the last, what, week? My job is generally taxing, but in an effort to have off this Friday to imbibe with friends and relish in NCAA basketball (which I really don't even care about) at the most dominant sports bar in Philadelphia (which I certainly do care about), I have been working insane hours and sitting at droning meetings deep into the night.

Wow, that sentence was really long.

Anyway, it could be another few days before I'm able to form some semblance of an entertaining post, but I will leave you with two reminders to close out the week:

Tomorrow...I guess now it's really today...well, whatever--MARCH 20th is the first day of spring, which means it is Free Rita's Water Ice Day! In honor of the seasonal change, Rita's is rolling out a new cream ice flavor: Birthday Cake. Not sure how I feel about it, but at least I won't be wasting any money to try it.


And secondly, Friday is Free Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin Donuts--and no, that is not the imbibing I was referring to above (this is), but I will certainly take part in this free festivity as well. God, that picture is gorgeous.

Enjoy the next however many days, and please come back. I promise I'll stop sucking in a few days.

Dessert in a can = no no

I know I've written about the genius of Dr. Pepper's viral marketing campaign, but I finally got my hands on some Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper, and yeah, not so good.

I wasn't expecting much, so the first sip was, "Oh, hey, this isn't so bad. It really actually tastes like chocolate covered cherries." But by the second sip, my thoughts were more like, "Okay, this gets really old, really fast." And also, don't let it go flat. It gets even worse.

They offer a $1.00-off coupon on your next purchase, but even an $0.39 beverage that tastes that bad couldn't rope a bargain shopper like me in.

Sorry to say, but I'm thinking this beverage is going to follow the same broken road as good ole' Pepsi Kona, R.I.P. 1996.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Thanks, TJS!

Best (and worst) of the 'Bowl

*Note: This is the second of two posts regarding the Super Bowl. This is everything but the actual game. For more game coverage, see below!

• Paula Abdul's pre-game performance: No one was more psyched than me to see the "Spellbound" songstress make her comeback, but man oh man...Paula's performance was more of a pantomime than a 'straight up' hit. Lip syncing worse than Britney and moves as bad as, well, Britney on MTV circa six months ago. And what was with the New Years Eve-looking hat? I couldn't have been the only one in American hoping that that weeble-wobble microphone would smack her in the face. [In case you missed it...]

• Paul Brogan's Super Bowl Rap: Soup or bowl? Soup, soup or bowl? This was the greatest part of the pre-game show, in my opinion. This guy is a freaking genius.
  
  

• Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers halftime show: I'm all for the 'Freefallin' and the 'American Girl,' but it's no coincidence that my friends and I spent the length of the halftime show in front of our cooled hors d'oeuvres, discussing tax rates and competitive eating. Every year, the halftime show is but a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more (thanks, Shakes). I'm sure some day, when I'm older, I'll enjoy performances from my childhood heroes -cough Spice Girls cough- but for now I'd rather load up on unnecessary cards for the second half than watch the streamers and strumming.

• Bawk, bawwwk: No one did the Chicken Dance in the end zone, so no-go on KFC's charity promise. Guess they were too chicken to pay the fines.
  

• Celebrity sightings: Perhaps Giants fans should be thanking Gisele Bundchen for the Patriots' choke; it's that Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson curse, praise the Lord! There were more blond bombshells in attendance last night too: We got a glimpse of a somewhat shy Pamela Anderson, who covered her face with straggly, bleached hair. And half the room 'aww'd' at the Jenny McCarthy/Jim Carey shot...and the other half said, 'Wait, what?' Yes, they've been together for a year and half - wake up! And of course, we had Mr. Peyton Manning watching over baby bro. Not gonna lie - as a superstitious Giants fan, I was a bit worried.

• Commercials: Of course. What would the big show be without a collection of exorbitant, over-hyped and underwhelming advertisements? This year, there were several forgettable commercials and a few memorable because they were so terrible (yes, I mean you, hideous girl dabbing Planters nuts on your hot spots). Here's a look at my top three:

• Mice like Doritos--Mickey's revenge.

• Chris Kattan might get sick of Diet Pepsi Max--what is love?

• Donkey Lips makes a comeback better than Paula--ahh, push it!
  

'Oh sh*t...'

A man who destroyed a neighbor's yard and fence while driving under the influence was pretty much shit outta luck Wednesday. That's because police found the proof they needed to tie him to the accident on the bottom of his shoes.

That's right. He was in deep doo-doo in more ways than one.

The yard that the Virginia man crashed into belonged to a man who owned four dogs and the suspect stepped in some dog doo before fleeing the scene, and proceeded to track it down the street. While police were following the poopsteps, they saw a white van swerving toward them and asked the driver to get out.

Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, reeked of alcohol and was charged with driving while impaired and drinking underage and released on $1,500 bail. That stinks, haaaaa.

TGIweekend

Hey, if beer pong has lost its jazz after 10 years of playing with the same group of people, perhaps you can try some mastery of the sport.

Check out this video of a skateboarder with arguably too much time on his hands. Some, or rather, most of these tricks are phenomenal, but please, if for some reason this is digitally mastered or completely fake, please let me know. It'd be like finding out Santa isn't real, but I'd still like to know so I can stop singing this guy's praises.

Watch and decide for yourself!

Your barista today is: Ronald McDonald?

Years ago, no one would have seen a McDonalds v. Starbucks war brewing, but now, the battle is on.

Both companies have been totally cramping each other's style lately: McDonalds has beefed up its coffee culture and Starbs has installed drive throughs and started serving breakfast sandwiches. The competition has been heating up, but you can add one more point in the McD's column because the fast food company plans to add coffee bars and baristas in 14,000 U.S. locations this year.

The move, which the company sees adding $1 million in sales, will bring cappuccinos, lattes, mochas and the Frappe, a drink similar to Starbucks' ice-blended Frappuccino, to the menu.

I'm up in the air on this one. Most people who go to McDonalds are looking for cheap, fast food and drink. Even if you know what the heck a macchiato is, Starbucks can be intimidating and it can definitely take some time to get the beverage in hand. But apparently, McDonalds has already been testing out the system in Kansas, running ads that claim you won't get a nasty look for mispronouncing the size of your beverage--ooooh, Starbucks. Burrrn!

But even if McDonalds' sales fall shorter than expected, there's no way they're gonna tank as badly as Starbucks has in the last year.

Blowing for the record

As New Year's Eve approaches and images of champagne wishes and caviar dreams--alright, maybe Miller Light wishes and potato chip dreams in some cases--dance in your head, please don't forget to be safe. Drinking and driving is bad.

Just ask Meagan Harper, the 30-year-old Oregon woman who has set the female record for highest blood alcohol content after police found her passed out in the parking lot of a pizza place.

Harper blew a 0.55, which is seven times the legal limit in Oregon. This level of intoxication, according to the Rutgers University Center of Alcohol Studies, would require a 100-pound man or woman to consume roughly 10 drinks in an hour or a 200-pound man to drink about six drinks each hour for four hours.

That's impressive; I have two light beers in an hour and I'm down for the count. What's even more impressive is how functional she looks in her mugshot.

Harper was arrested and taken to the hospital. Her bail was set at $50,000. Harper has three previous DUI charges, one while she was at the helm of a boat. Idiot.

The woman, who is 5'11 and 130 pounds, fell just short of breaking the all-time BAC record, held by Willard Ashley III. The Indiana man blew 0.69 in October 2003.

Uncorked

Paris Hilton has launched the latest in cold beverages, just in time for New Year's: champagne in a can.

Yes, that's right. No need to uncork that traditional bottle of champagne in luxurious fashion (even if it's like a $6 bottle, because that's how I roll)--now you can just shake up a can and spray Rich Prosecco all over you and your Gucci.

No word on cost, but a golden-bathed Paris has been promoting the product in Europe and posing for some 'hotttt' pictures. Unless those pictures come on the can, I'm pretty sure people will prefer the traditional 'splooging' champagne bottles.