Hiccup in the plan

It's almost 2:30 a.m. and I cannot freaking sleep because I've had hiccups for like, 35 minutes now. No one's here to try and scare me and I've already tried drinking upside down and holding my breath and counting sheep or whatever the shit you're supposed to do.

This lead me to the story of Charles Osbourne (right), who apparently hiccuped for 68 years straight. WHAT THE $%^. I would probably ask someone to shoot me if this lasted for more than two hours.

The Iowa man was entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for Longest Attack of Hiccups after he his bought started in 1922 and ended in 1991, close to one year before his death. He began hiccuping 40 times a minute, and it later slowed to 20 a minute. I'm sure he wasn't inconvenienced at all.

And a fun fact from the incredibly credible source that is Wikipedia: It has been estimated that Osborne hiccupped 430 million times over the 68 year period. The average human only hiccups about 2,300 times in an average lifetime.