Prostitute 'slap-chopped' by the ShamWow guy

I'm an infomercial junkie and the ShamWow! ranks right up there with the Magic Bullet and Snuggie as one of my favs. So, naturally, I was pretty upset to hear that the magic towel salesman, Vince Shlomi, was recently arrested for assaulting a hooker.

According to reports, Shlomi -- also known as "Vince Offer" -- paid 26-year-old prostitute Sasha Harris $1,000 in February for "straight sex." But, as he told police, the woman bit his tongue while kissing him and refused to let go. He then punched her several times and ran into the hotel lobby to call police.

I guess it's pretty unlucky that his other highly tauted infomercial is for the "Slap Chop." (And ironically enough, he quips "You're gonna love my nuts" during the demonstration. See below for the remixed version.)



Both were charged with battery. Check out the pics courtesy of The Smoking Gun. They're pretty gruesome:



Funny -- I can't look at those pictures without saying, 'wow' every time. Thanks, Vince!

Thanks, TJS!

Plaxico durress

By now, you've probably heard about New York Giants wide receiver, Plaxico Burress, stupidly shooting himself in a New York nightclub this weekend. Not surprisingly, the Giants announced today that they're placing Plax on the reserve non-football injury list, which means he won't be back for the postseason, either.

This move comes a day after the wide receiver was charged with illegal weapons possession, for which he could receive between 3 and 1/2 to 15 years in prison if convicted. Burress is due back in court March 31, unless he reaches a plea agreement.

Burress shot himself in the right thigh in the VIP section of the nightclub about 1 a.m. Saturday, police said. He did not have a permit to carry a handgun in New York.

A witness reported hearing a popping sound before Burress' legs began to shake, according to a criminal complaint. It said the person saw a bloody pistol fall out of his pant leg and land on the floor before Burress said, "Take me to a hospital."

Apparently, Giants receiver Steve Smith also had a run-in with guns this weekend, but he was on the other end of it.

Police in Clifton, N.J., said Smith was robbed at gunpoint in the early hours of Nov. 25. The second-year receiver had returned to his townhouse in a chauffer-driven car when he was approached from behind by man who held a gun to his head, Clifton police Capt. Robert Rowan said. Smith turned over his jewelry and money and cell phone, the captai said, and the man is still being sought, he said.

Well...if Burress is out, I guess it's a good thing nothing happened to Steve Smith. Maybe if Smith had a gun, no one woulda messed with him, haaaa. Actually, I shouldn't joke about that. I don't want anything to screw up the tear the Giants are on right now.

Rampage in India

[UPDATE] 11 p.m., Nov. 28: The last terrorists involved in the attacks at Mumbai's Taj Mahal hotel were killed early Saturday, Mumbai's police chief told CNN-IBN. But the director-general of the national security guard said the situation remains unresolved. The conflicting accounts came after a fire broke out and a flurry of heavy gunfire. The death toll from the rampage has risen to 160 civilians, police and military, including 5 Americans. Indian officials are suggesting the terrorists came from Pakistan.

Not to be a downer on your holiday happiness, but it's important to note what's going on in India today/tonight.

From CNN.com: Gunmen rampaged through a series of targets in the Indian city of Mumbai killing indiscriminately and taking hostages at two luxury hotels.

Mumbai police spokesman Satish Katsa said gunmen have taken over the Taj Mahal Hotel and Hotel Oberoi, and were holding hostages on multiple floors.

Flames and smoke poured from the Taj early Thursday, and several explosions were heard at the building. (Photo, right: Blood stains the floor of the railway station.)

At the Oberoi the military reportedly entered the building and a large explosion was heard shortly afterwards. Another hostage situation was unfolding at Cama Hospital, CNN's sister network in India, CNN-IBN reported.

One witness told local reporters that gunmen tried to find people with U.S. or British passports and took about 15 of them hostage.

Black --and deadly-- Friday

I've never been into the whole Black Friday thing, though I admittedly thought about getting up at 4 a.m. today and hitting the stores from some deals. Unfortunately for my shopping ambition (but fortunately for my dwindling back account), I am working today...not quite sure why, because everyone I need to contact --including the police department-- is off today, grrr.

Anyway. For those of you who got out to the stores or plan to get in on the tail end of the door buster deals, good for you... but be careful! I just caught wind of an incident in Long Island where a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a Black Friday crowd. (*Note, this picture was not taken from the same Wal-Mart.)

The news story seems to have a lot of unconfirmed information, but apparently a pregnant woman also taken down in the stampede and despite previous reports of a miscarriage, doctors say the baby is fine.

The unidentified worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," said Jimmy Overby, 43, a co-worker. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too...I literally had to fight people off my back."

Crazy stuff. Click to read more.

Thanks, TJS.

[UPDATE] 11 p.m. Nov. 28: In an unrelated incident, two men were shot dead in a Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, California, after they argued in the store, police said. The toy company and authorities said the California shootings had nothing to do with shopping on Black Friday

OJ: convicted to a pulp!

I apologize for the day-old "breaking news" - Comcast sucks and I've been without (and continue to be without) Internet for two days now...

OJ Simpson was found guilty of armed robbery Saturday and could now spend the rest of his life in prison.

Check out how eery this is: He was convicted of a crime that took place on Sept. 13 and found guilty on the 13th anniversary of his murder acquittal. On top of that, the jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial. Guess it was his lucky day!

The 61-year-old Hall of Fame football star was convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges for gathering five men a year ago and storming a room at a hotel-casino to seize Simpson sports mementos — including game balls, plaques and photos — from two collectors. Prosecutors said two of the men with him were armed; one said Simpson had asked him to bring a gun.

Kidnapping is punishable by five years to life in prison. Armed robbery carries a sentence of at least two years behind bars and could bring as much as 30.

Now, I think OJ dying in jail is appropriate - he killed his wife and Ron Goldman and got away with it - but he definitely got shafted as far as jury selection: 11 of the 12 jury members were White and one was Hispanic. Nine of the 12 were women. So, essentially he's got a bunch of white females like myself determining his sentencing - justice at last! haaaa.

Guess he's not 'shooting blanks'...?

A Florida man reportedly shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend shot down having sex with him.

Police said Jonathon Guabello, 29, and his live-in girlfriend of five months, Ryan Mackinnon, came home from a bar around midnight Wednesday, and when Guabello started to get frisky, Mackinnon said she just wanted to go to sleep.

The 24-year-old girlfriend went into the spare bedroom, but several minutes later heard two gunshots. Guabello --who was under the influence of alcohol and Xanax-- came into the room with the gun and told her if she called for help or tried to put him in rehab, he'd kill her. He then stumbled into the kitchen, walked into the oven and knocked himself unconscious.

After being treated for the gunshot wounds at a local hospital, Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

So, men, what lesson did we learn today? When you're drunk, randy and wielding a gun, your girlfriend probably won't want to have sex with you.

9/11 remembered

It's hard to believe it's been seven years since Sept. 11, 2001, but America will never forget.
Send good thoughts and prayers to those affected by the 9/11 tragedy and God Bless America!

A Nation Remembers

Update: Bus beheading suspect in court

The man reportedly responsible for stabbing, decapitating and eating a sleeping 22-year-old on a Greyhound bus in Canada last week is asking to be killed, according to the Associated Press.

Vince Weiguang Li appeared in court Tuesday, declining to speak for the most part except to softly whisper, "Please kill me," to the judge. He is being charged with second degree murder for last week's attack, and has yet to enter a plea. Li is expected back in court Sept. 8.

The man had a plastic bag containing his victim's ear, nose and part of a mouth in his pocket when officers arrested him, Prosecutor Joyce Dalmyn said. The only response officers received from him was: "'I have to stay on the bus forever,'" she said.

Witnesses reported Li displayed the severed head to them while he was being contained on the bus. Audio of a police tape leaked on the Internet this weekend revealed an account of the man eating pieces of the body during the standoff.

RELATED LINKS
Update: Greyhound bus murder

Update: Greyhound bus murder

Depending on my schedule, I don't usually get a lot of posting done on the weekend, which is why I didn't end up writing about the man who decapitated a sleeping passenger on a Greyhound bus in Canada Thursday; I figured it would be old news by the time I got to it tonight (Sunday).

But between Friday and now, I've broken the news of this story to at least four different people, so apparently word hadn't gotten out as much as I had thought and this begs a news brief.

The moral of a story is that a 40-year-old man, who witnesses said seemed completely normal entering the bus, repeatedly stabbed his seatmate on a ride from Manitoba Thursday. Some described him as robot-like, saying he exhibited no anger and no emotion while he decapitated the 22-year-old victim.

Now, more grisly details of the attack have been leaked, particularly a police tape describing how the attacker defiled and ate the victim's body. Yes, ate.

The video on LiveLeak.com does contain some violent images (nothing derived directly from the crime scene), but what's more disturbing is when a police officer --calling the attacker "Badger"-- says "Badger is the at back of the bus hacking off pieces...and eating it."

Listen for yourself. Pretty sick stuff.



For full details on the story, click here. To learn more about the victim and the family's response to the gruesome attacks, click here.

[UPDATE] A 31-year-old man in Santorini beheaded his girlfriend and her dog today after a heated argument, according to officials there. Click here to read more. Disgusting. What is wrong with these people?

Punched out

Washington state police are investigating a sucker-punch doled out by a Little Leaguer this weekend.

The incident, captured on tape below, occurred following a tournament game in Snohomish County. As the teams were engaging in the post-game shaking hands ritual, one player draws back and straight up socks a player on the opposing team in the face.

The players were not identified and there has been no word yet on what the motivation for the punch was. The victim was taken to the ER and given stitches in his upper lip.

Pretty messed up.

Second update: MySpace Murder

Updating an update of a previous item:

The Missouri mother responsible for 13-year-old Megan Meier's suicide and the phony MySpace account that pushed the young girl to do so has been indicted.

Lori Drew, of suburban St. Louis, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles on one count of conspiracy and three counts of unauthorized access of protected computers to obtain information to inflict emotional distress, AP said.

Thank God for justice.

To read more about the case, click here, but the long and short of it is that the mother of one of Megan's former friends created a MySpace account and posed as a teenage boy named "Josh" to see what Megan was saying about her daughter.

The mother, her daughter and another adult had access to the account and corresponded with Megan as Josh for more than a month, until they began harassing Megan, saying that Josh didn't want to be her friend anymore and that the world would be a better place without her.

Megan, who suffered from ADD and depression, hanged herself as a result of the messages.

RELATED LINKS
MySpace Murder
Update: MySpace Murder

Don't mess with New York...?

From Reuters:

A New York Yankees' fan was accused on Monday of murdering a Boston Red Sox supporter and injuring another by running both down with a car after a heated argument over one of America's oldest sporting rivalries.

Ivonne Hernandez, 43, pleaded not guilty on Monday to reckless second-degree murder, aggravated driving while intoxicated and two counts of reckless conduct after the incident in a Nashua, New Hampshire parking lot last Friday.

Prosecutors say Hernandez was drunk when she drove her car across a dirt parking lot outside the Nashua City Hall into Matthew Beaudoin, 29, and Maria Hughes, 21, after exchanging words with them about the Yankees and Red Sox baseball teams.

The spat began at a local bar where Hernandez said she was a Yankees fan, according to witnesses quoted by the Nashua Telegraph newspaper.

It then spilled outside where a group that included Beaudoin chanted "Yankees suck!" when they saw a Yankees sticker on the rear window of Hernandez's car, New Hampshire's Assistant Attorney General, Susan Morrell, told Reuters in a telephone interview.

She told Nashua District Court that Hernandez drove directly at the group and did not brake, hitting Beaudoin.

"The forensic evidence at the scene indicates tire tracks going about 200 feet that did not swerve or brake," Morrell said. "He went onto the windshield and then when the car hit the parking meter he was ejected," she added.

Beaudoin died of massive head trauma, she added. Hughes suffered minor injuries.

Hernandez told police she had only wanted to scare the group. She was ordered held without bail.

He called the Columbine shooters "my gods"

I stumbled upon this article about a 19-year-old Idaho guy who had previously plotted to kill his high school classmates, his mother and his sister...but now he's hoping kids who experience the same thing he did will seek help.

For some reason, this article doesn't really sit well with me. They throw in the "learn from my experience" graph at the end of the story, but for the most part, this article goes through this guy's history of mental illness and the fact that his mother is still afraid of him. And something tells me that exposing his true identity and mental instability on CNN is not going to make his life any easier.

Give it a gander. See what you think.

I appreciate CNN and the mother's attempt to share this story and try to avoid another Northern Illinois or Virginia Tech incident (as that anniversary is quickly approaching), but what I get from this article is--if you get caught while you're in high school and your parents make you go to a psychiatrist, wait til you're 19 and then go to town. But share your story with a large news source so no one expects anything. I don't know. I'm still not convinced. Quite disturbing.


RELATED LINKS
Another school shooting leaves six dead
Update: NIU school shooting

"A-Rod" attacked by evil BoSox hawk

Last week, a hawk at Fenway Park attacked an innocent eighth-grade girl named Alexa Rodriguez.

Yes, that's right. The bird that nests in the home of the Red Sox attacked A-Rod. Couldn't make it up if I tried.


The girl, from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn., was on a field trip with classmates when the hawk swooped down and attacked in an apparent attempt to protect its eggs.

"A-Rod" was not seriously injured. She was taken to a nearby hospital and released.

But this just proves that everything about Fenway Park--its players AND its wildlife--is absolutely classless. And that especially goes for you, Manny Ramirez.

Thanks, Dave!

Can you handle another shot of 'Tequila'?

Yes, as I mentioned at the start of 2008, Tila Tequila and her bi-sexual reality show are back for another round.

Starting April 22, another lot of lesbians and straight toolbags will move into an MTV mansion to win a "Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." It looks like a lot of blood, sweat, tears...and vomit?

This season's trailer is seriously disgusting...


That's fine. I won't follow this as intensely as the first season--because I was pulling for my Indigo Girls-song-inducing-Dani to win Tila's heart--but I will probably end up watching this. I'm a sucker for some man-on-man headbutting, what can I say?

Otherwise, this show will probably be as terrible as its first season's spin off with Domenico. Is that show even on anymore??

RELATED LINKS:
How to save a bi
Here's to a shot at shameless self promotion
Ordering up another round of "Shot"
Tequila making you sick?
That's A-stupid

American *really* Idle

A woman left her 3-year-old daughter to nearly drown in a bathtub during last week's "American Idol" results show, police said.

Sheila R. Brooks, a 25-year-old mother of four from Indianapolis, allegedly left two of her children in the tub when she went to do laundry. She stated to another daughter that she forgot that both her 2-year-old and 3-year-old were unattended in the tub as she watched "American Idol." She sent her 7-year-old daughter to check on the babies in the bath, and the child alerted the incredible responsible Ms. Brooks that her daughter Sirius (right) was submerged in water and unconscious.

The child was still in critical condition today.

It must have been one riveting episode of Idol. I haven't wasted more than three minutes of my life watching the newest season, so I can't even come up with something clever for this. But regardless, American Idol rarely shows more than three minutes of programming without a 10 minute interlude of Coke commercial, Chevy commercial, Coke commercial, terrible Fox programming commercial... you'd think somewhere along the line she would have snapped to and remembered she left her toddlers unattended in the tub.

And oh, to make matters even better, police found about an ounce of marijuana, five burnt marijuana cigarettes and a scale in the house. Intelligent.

Hit me with your best shot--liar awayyy

I guess when "I'm sick" is no longer a viable excuse for getting out of work, you've gotta come up with some more creative excuses.

And that's exactly what Daniel Kuch did--he creatively (and stupidly) asked his friend to shoot him in the arm to get out of work and avoid taking a drug test.

Kuch told police that he was involved in a drive-by shooting while jogging, but later 'fessed up. I know the question here should be 'why would you ever purposely get shot to get out work?' but I really just wanna know why he would admit to it after the fact. He coulda gotten away with it...

The friend has been arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. Kuch is expected to be charged with false reporting.

La la lala, la la lala, Elmo's gone

Meet the Elmo Knows Your Name Doll, or as I've dubbed him--the creepiest f'ing doll ever. Yes, more sinister than Chucky. More knowing than Talking Tina.

Upon purchase, the Elmo doll is programmed via computer to know your child's name and include it in his random expressions as they laugh and play all the live long day. Except for 2-year-old James Bowman, of Lithia, Fla., Elmo doesn't get excited when you tickle him, he makes death threats.

After James' mom replaced the batteries in Elmo, he started saying, "Kill James." I'm not kidding. Watch the news piece yourself.

James' mom, Melissa, was obviously upset, especially because her two-year-old started repeating the expression and freaking out because she took his favorite toy away.

Fisher-Price said it will issue the Bowmans a voucher for a replacement doll and examine James' model for the source of the problem and check whether other Elmos are experiencing the same malfunction.

Let's pray for rabbit season

Today I was searching for something to watch on Saturday morning and realized that children's programming these days is horrendous; however, it's certainly nowhere near as abomidable as "Tomorrow's Players."

The Hamas-authorized children's kids show, which airs on Gaza TV and is shown around the Arab world, features Assud the 6-foot rabbit threatening to kill the Jews to a little girl named Saraa.

Assud, who resembles Bugs Bunny, promises to "finish off the Jews and eat them, Allah willing." It's seriously disturbing.



"This program is telling us that they see children as tools in their propaganda and their war. They have no problem stealing their children's youth."--Itamar Marcus, director of Palestinian Media Watch.

Marcus' point is evinced by the fact that Assud is not the first of his kind: Hamas used a Mickey Mouse-like character named Farfur who--according to producers--was beaten to death by Israeli soldiers, and a bee character named Nahul who was also killed off recently - his death blamed on Israelis preventing him from reaching a hospital to get urgent medical treatment.

Thanks, Dave.

Update: NIU school shooting

The girlfriend of Northern Illinois University shooter, Steven Kazmierczak, gave an interview this weekend in which she told CNN that there was no indication that her boyfriend was planning anything.

Jessica Baty, who dated Kazmierczak on and off for more than two years, said he was on anti-depressants but had recently stopped taking them.

She also said that while she was in class Feb. 14 at University of Illinois, she heard students talking about the shooting going on at NIU. Not knowing that it was her boyfriend who was responsible for the shooting spree, she called his cell phone several times. She later found out that Kazmierczak had killed five others and taken his own life.

Baty said her boyfriend had sent her a letter before the shootings, which read: "You are the best Jessica!" it read. "You've done so much for me, and I truly do love you. You will make an excellent psychologist or social worker someday! Don't forget about me! Love, Steven Kazmierczak."

Not your typical love note so close to Valentine's Day.

Baty said she feels sorry for the victim's families, but that her boyfriend was also a victim. Unbelievable. I can't even come up with any sort of commentary for this, just that it makes me sick.

To read more about the interview, click here.

RELATED LINKS
Another school shooting leaves six dead