Perry's a little more hot than cold right now

Fill in the blank - "I kissed a girl and I ______________."

• A) became Barbie
• B) got suspended
• C) went to hell
• D) liked it
• E) ALL OF THE ABOVE
  

For being known for such a silly song, Katy Perry has made one hot commodity of herself lately. Not only did she kiss a girl and like it, she's somehow managed to get young women in trouble while simultaneously becoming a tangible 'role model' for little girls.

Three girls on the twirler team at a North Texas high school were disciplined for performing to Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" at a recent football pep rally. School administrators apparently found the song to be inappropriate. The girls are suspended for the next two games, but the school's drum line has vowed not to perform without the girls, wearing "No twirlers, no band" stickers in show of support. I'm sure that drum line is just hoping for some twirler-on-twirler action.

In other news, Katy Perry's likeness is being made into a 12-inch doll by Integrity Toys. The dolls is being sold for $49.99, but apparently she's already sold out, so you've gotta get on the waiting list to get your hands on a miniature Perry. The first batch is expected to be shipped in late fall. I can only imagine what sort of compromising positions my new Katy Perry doll will end up in when she, Barbie and Midge have their sleepover party!

And in case you forgot, those who do as Katy Perry does will go to hell. So for those of you keeping score at home, the answer is D.

To a trilogy, and beyond!

Disney studios has unveiled a lineup of 10 new animated films that will open within the next four years, the majority of which will be shown in digital 3-D.

Most notable on the list? Another installment of "Toy Story"--yessss! The entire cast (Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, etc.) will be back for the third film, which features main character Andy all grown up and moving on to the college life.

The robot love story "Wall E" will hit theaters at the end of June. I saw the trailer for this, and while the storyline made no sense to me, I'd go see it because that robot is freaking adorable.

The lineup will also feature a sequel to "Cars" and "Bolt," which will star John Travolta as the voice of a dog with super powers and Miley Cyrus as his owner. To see more of the upcoming films, click here.

La la lala, la la lala, Elmo's gone

Meet the Elmo Knows Your Name Doll, or as I've dubbed him--the creepiest f'ing doll ever. Yes, more sinister than Chucky. More knowing than Talking Tina.

Upon purchase, the Elmo doll is programmed via computer to know your child's name and include it in his random expressions as they laugh and play all the live long day. Except for 2-year-old James Bowman, of Lithia, Fla., Elmo doesn't get excited when you tickle him, he makes death threats.

After James' mom replaced the batteries in Elmo, he started saying, "Kill James." I'm not kidding. Watch the news piece yourself.

James' mom, Melissa, was obviously upset, especially because her two-year-old started repeating the expression and freaking out because she took his favorite toy away.

Fisher-Price said it will issue the Bowmans a voucher for a replacement doll and examine James' model for the source of the problem and check whether other Elmos are experiencing the same malfunction.

SpinMaster needs a spin doctor

Parents who thought they were going to win Parent of the Year for buying their children the much sought-after Aquadots may be in for an even bigger shock than the initial recall: no refunds!

SpinMaster, distributor of the hazardous toys, recalled about 4.2 million units earlier this month after children consuming the product slipped into comas.

Instead of offering a refund for the $17-30 toy, the website is instead offering "free replacement beads or a toy of equal value." Probably not the best PR/crisis management tactic to deal with millions of people, eh?

An Arkansas couple is suing over the lack of monetary retribution, saying, "Consumers do not want, nor should they be forced to accept, another toy from the same company that has been irresponsibly marketing and selling poison to their children.”

So be sure to trade in your date rape drug-coated, candy-like dots for some replacement dots in time for the holidays!

Date rape stylee

Scientists found Wednesday that millions of children's toys contain a date rape drug. Two children in the U.S. and three in Australia were hospitalized after swallowing the beads; the two American children went into nonresponsive comas.

Aqua Dots, a highly popular holiday toy distributed by Toronto-based Spin Master Toys, is the American version of the toys; in Australia, they're called Bindeez. They are beads made into art projects that when sprayed with water, they stick together.

But children ingesting the beads with low doses of GHB can experience "euphoria, increased enjoyment of movement and music, increased libido, increased sociability and intoxication." Trippy, man.

Old School Thursday

This week, we remember Creepy Crawlers.

Creepy Crawlers, originally a Mattel Toy, are best described as rubbery bugs formed from some sort of goop that you poured into a mold and shoved in a miniature oven. You undoubtedly burned yourself taking the tray out of the oven, and subsequently burned yourself a second time trying to get your multicolored spider out of the mold without ripping his tiny little rubber legs off.

Check out some of the old school commercials for these things: commercial 1 and commercial 2


If they still sell these things, someone better get me one for Christmas.

I smell Christmas presents for everyone on my list!

If you've got $20 and a hankering to hear Jesus recite Bible verses, you're in luck. Wal-Mart is selling talking Jesus toys! The toy, part of one2believe's line to promote religion among children, preaches three memorable verses, including John 3:16, and the story of Jesus turning water into wine!

Listen to one satisfied customer's story:

"My child can use Barbie and Ken and pretend they are going to the beach or walking the dog, or they can have biblical characters and pretend they are feeding 5,000 and walking over water"

Okay, this is sad. If you want your child to learn about God, then take them to Sunday school and give them a coloring book; they'll pick up on it eventually. Don't buy them this talking Jesus figurine that's more likely to scare the Lord into them than inspire them to read the Bible.