Black --and deadly-- Friday

I've never been into the whole Black Friday thing, though I admittedly thought about getting up at 4 a.m. today and hitting the stores from some deals. Unfortunately for my shopping ambition (but fortunately for my dwindling back account), I am working today...not quite sure why, because everyone I need to contact --including the police department-- is off today, grrr.

Anyway. For those of you who got out to the stores or plan to get in on the tail end of the door buster deals, good for you... but be careful! I just caught wind of an incident in Long Island where a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a Black Friday crowd. (*Note, this picture was not taken from the same Wal-Mart.)

The news story seems to have a lot of unconfirmed information, but apparently a pregnant woman also taken down in the stampede and despite previous reports of a miscarriage, doctors say the baby is fine.

The unidentified worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," said Jimmy Overby, 43, a co-worker. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too...I literally had to fight people off my back."

Crazy stuff. Click to read more.

Thanks, TJS.

[UPDATE] 11 p.m. Nov. 28: In an unrelated incident, two men were shot dead in a Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, California, after they argued in the store, police said. The toy company and authorities said the California shootings had nothing to do with shopping on Black Friday

Day 'o turkey

Happy Thanksgiving
from The Jerc Store!

It's turkey time again! Hey, did you know that the first Thanksgiving celebration lasted three years? True story. How sweet would that be to be off from work on holiday for three years? Anyway, enjoy your food, football and five-hour, post-feast nap -- I know I will.

And hey, be careful out there shopping tomorrow.

Colorful, butt designer?

Now, I always said that if someone bought me a designer handbag, I'd light it on fire because I consider it an enormous waste of money, but anyone who thinks this designer product is worth the purchase should wipe their ass with it.

...well, that's what intended for, duhhh.
Renova has introduced luxury toilet paper in green, red, orange and black. Umm, kind of weird, yes? A 3-pack is selling for 7.51 euro (about 10.98 USD).

The best is the way they market this on the website:

• The RED is the power of emotion. It is what gives us our Vitality and Passion.
• Renova Black tissue: a voluptuous texture, soft and glamorous; a paper full of pleasure.
• Tissue paper in bright orange to celebrate exotism in the bathroom. Enjoy!

Should we really be describing bathroom activities with adjectives like 'voluptuous' and 'passion'? Maybe not, but you can also buy tissues and paper towels to match!

Shooting spree in Omaha mall

A gunman in a Nebraska shopping mall has killed nine people and left three in serious condition, authorities said.

The shootings began just before 2 p.m. at the Von Maur store inside the shopping complex. The gunman used a rifle to fire at least 50 shots, as shoppers fled to dressing rooms and bathrooms and hid in clothes racks. He then fired the gun on himself.

Update 2: (CNN.com) The shooter has been identified as Robert A. Hawkins, about 19 or 20 years old. A suicide note left behind said he did not want to burden people, that he was a piece of shit and now he'd be famous, according to his land lady. She saidhe showed her the rifle he used the night before the shooting, and described Hawkins as a lost puppy nobody wanted. --And this caused no sort of alarm??

I know I don't need to say this, but seriously...what the hell is wrong with people. Seriously. Malls are about shopping sprees, not killing sprees, and adding insult to injury, I'm sure these people were holiday shopping for families that will never see them again. Makes me sick.