Mmm, free fatty food...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love free things. You probably do, too. And really, is there anyone on the face of Earth (dieting or not) who doesn't love ice cream? That's why you should probably check out your local Cold Stone Creamery tonight.


The ice cream shoppe is holding it's 7th annual "World's Largest Ice Cream Social" to support the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Throughout September, Cold Stone has and will continue to sell M-A-W wall stars to raise money.

Tonight, from 5-8 p.m., guests will receive a free, 3-ounce serving of either of the store's two new sundaes: Jack's Creation or Emily's Creation, created by two Wish children.

Jack's flavor is marshmallow-based with Oreos, chocolate chips and fudge. Emily's is Nutter Butter-based ice cream with white chocolate chips, KIT KAT bars and yellow cake bits. Sounds good to me!

Click here to find a Cold Stone Creamery near you. You might as well check it out - it's not every day you get the chance to get delicious, overpriced ice cream for free!

'When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza line...'

A Florida pizza parlor has set the Guinness World Record for longest line of pizzas. Delicioso!

Scott Van Duzer and employees of Big Apple Pizza and Pasta created a chain of pizza on Saturday that reached just over 722 feet. A judge believes it broke a previous Guinness World Record of just over 611 feet that was set in Italy in 2006.

The record-breaking event was also for a good cause: The parlor raised money for a St. Lucie County firefighter and his family who had their home destroyed by fire earlier in the week.

I still question where people come up with this stuff? Longest line of pizza? Like, what? But I love how Florida steals this record away from Italy. That's just messed up.

Teams of people turned out for the pizza line, which I'm sure had nothing to do with the fact that it was free pizza all around once the length had been tallied.

RELATED LINKS
Who wants to break stuff?

Belting and blogging it out with Bret

A big thanks to my co-worker, Geoff, who--after months of listening to me and fellow reporter Stef dish about "Rock of Love II" every Monday morning--informed me that Bret Michaels would be on FOX's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" tonight.

I must also thank (and apologize to) my boyfriend, who graciously let me off the phone when I made mention that Bret Michaels was on TV. With only a slight groan, he managed a sarcastic--yet, understanding--"I know, he's hot," and we said our goodbyes.

And in an effort to squeeze the life out of my love for Bret (and the aggregate 25 minutes of "DFTL" once you subtract commercial time), here is my live blogging of the heavenly occasion.

I missed the first 10 minutes of the episode, but tuned in just in time to see Bret, sporting his favorite rainbow bandana over those luscious locks, belting out some Tom Jones. But wait, why is Wayne Brady singing along with him? Ohhh, that's right. He can't remember that this show is supposed to be about other people...

9:14 - Bret launches into some warm, fuzzy moment about how even after all these years, he is still passionate about what he does. He wants to get some money for kids at St. Jude's. This is a great opportunity. And he aptly selects the "Inspirational Song" category.

9:15 - The screen reveals a battle of titans: Bette v. Barry, and Bret goes with Mr. Manilow. I'd much rather see Bret sing "Copacabana," but hey, can't have it all. He instead croons "Looks like We Made It," and the pathetic women in the audience go nuts when he sings, "I touched you." I shouldn't make fun of them; I'd be doing the same thing.

9:17 - Bret reveals that he has spent months in a tour bus listening to Barry Manilow and Metallica. I think he's kidding...but Barry must be honored.

9:23 - In the "Southern Rock"category, Bret sings some ZZ Top, and those dance moves...a bit awkward, Bret. I hope he moves better than that in the bedroom...for Ambre's sake, of course.

9:25 - Oh hey, another overly dramatic buildup to revealing the correct lyrics--and another commercial, shocking. This is almost as bad as American Idol.

9:29 - In order to reveal the correct lyrics to the ZZ Top song, Wayne directs Bret to sing the last few lines acappella style, baby. But Wayne decides to showboat a little more by unnecessarily harmonizing. Bret succeeds and adds, "Good vibes." Yes, Bret, good vibes indeed.

9:31 - So when the producers think "Rock," they think Meatloaf "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"?? Bret chooses Pat Benetar, but all I can think of is how terrible I am at Guitar Hero.

9:32 - Bret takes one of his lifelines and brings his solo bandmate, Steve, onstage. But not before introducing his other lifeline, long-legged Leah. "We are...old friends," he says, adding in a completely obvious throat clear. Aaaand now he's describing their friendship as a spiritual, romantic relationship that began one night behind his tour bus. Oh. This is awkward.

9:35 - I wonder if everyone (or maybe I should say, 'anyone') in America is loving this is as much as I am.

9:37 - Bret is wondering if he should go with his gut feeling: "I dont want to blow it all right now because I feel good" - oh Bret, talk dirt to me, haaaa. Get it? Get it??

9:42 - Extremely long pause to reveal the fate of the Pat Benetar song...aaand they're right. $100,000. Way to go Steve. Now get off the stage.

9:43 - The Who - Baba O'Reily. Yeah, love this song. Ooh, a little air guitar. Hot.

9:44 - Air guitar quickly followed by 8 blank spaces and some awkward dead air. "Don't cry. Don't raise your eye," it's only $200,000 for sick children, Bret.

9:48 - Surprise, another commercial. It's getting too close to the end of the show. There's no way he's gonna get this.

9:52 - "I'm here for all the right reasons," Bret says. Is that a veiled shot at some of the girls from "Rock of Love"?

9:53 - WOW, he got it. Moving on to the "Hair Band" category... Nine missing words for Quiet Riot's "Come On Feel the Noise." Does anyone else remember when this song was in Ore-Ida french fry commercial?

9:54 - So, Wayne Brady--seriously, can you stop singing along? He's harmonizing and it's clearly not working. And completely throwing Bret off his game.


9:55 - Can we say anticlimactic? Bret doesn't even venture a guess at the blank spots and cashes out at $200,000--split between Juvenile Diabetes Fund and St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Whatta guy. 9:56 - Wayne calls Bret's friends back on stage, and Bret clearly pushes Steve out of the way to put his arm around Leah. Shafted. Watch out, Ambre.

9:57 - Oh, by the way, let's reveals the lyrics that no one in the venue knew. At least Kevin DuBrow isn't alive for this...? No? Too soon? Okay, sorry.

9:58 - On a happier note, Bret's going to debut a song from his solo album? I am so totally running to iTunes when this is over to download it. Yeah, I'm a huge sucker.

9:58:30 - Oh God, I ALREADY OWN IT. ahahahaha <---that was my completely genuine reaction, btw.

Don't be chicken, bawk-bawk-bakawwwk!

Just as they hatched a marketing plot on the heels of Stephen Colbert's presidential bid, KFC has set up a Super Bowl marketing campaign centered around the most loathed song and dance of all time: The Chicken Dance.

The fast food restaurant has offered $260,000 to charity in the name of the first Patriots or Giants player to do the damn dance in end zone during next week's Super Bowl showdown.

This could also be made better if KFC offered free sauceless wings during an obscure time frame on some idle Tuesday when the players does the dance, following in Taco Bell's World Series speedy footsteps.

The player would need to do the "flapping part" of the dance for at least three seconds. (And the $260,000 is what it would cost for three seconds of advertising time during the Super Bowl, with the going rate for a 30-second segment at $2.67 mill.)

Click here for instructions on how to do this chicken dance. No, seriously, there really are instructions available.

But leave it to the NFL to not have a sense of humor. Spokesman Brian McCarthy said that players can celebrate as they normally would during the Super Bowl, but if anyone busts out that chicken dance, they will be subjected to fines.

He made some obscure American Idol reference to try to be funny, but really, don't you think they're getting just slightly bent out of shape over this? I mean come on, it's for charity. They're letting freaking Paula Abdul perform during half-time - they must be fans of charity.

Boobs from a boob

If you're still stuck on what to get people for Christmas, considering shelling out like, $300 to bid on porn star Mary Carey's breast implants on eBay!

The star of "Big Breasted Beauties" has recently removed her 36-DD implants for 36-DDD, and said that while under anesthesia, she realized that she could sell the used implants to benefit cancer research.

She's gotta be one smart porn star to come up with that while unconscious.

The current high bid on eBay is $2,700 (plus $12 shipping). Carey says she wants the winner to have a "Mary Christmas"--brilliant!

Carey said she will donate 90 percent of the autograph fake boob proceeds to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, and the rest of the money will go toward her mother's medical bills, because she jumped out of a four-story building last year. Um??

"I'm actually overall very anti-plastic surgery. I watched my mom go through 11 surgeries (for her injuries) and it's like, for me to voluntarily put myself through that, the only right thing to do is make money and donate it to charity." --Mary Carey

Other than her adult films, you may remember Carey from her campaign for governor against Arnold, but you can catch her beating drug and alcohol addiction in VH1's new reality show "Celebrity Rehab," starring Dr. Drew, coming soon.