Don't want these panties in a bunch...

I've written a few entries on crazy eBay auctions, but this one is by far the most wacko: The King of Pop's panties will be up for sale Thursday, according to Page Six.

And they're not just any panties--they're the same unwashed, tighty-whities used as evidence in Wacko Jacko's child molestation case. That's not disgusting at all...

The size-28 Calvin Klein white briefs will be sold at a reserve price of $1 million. The unwashed undies were confiscated in 2003 to obtain a DNA sample, and are part of Jackson artifacts offered by New Jersey businessman Henry Vacarro, who obtained them in a bankruptcy case. The panties come sealed in an evidence bag and wrapped with police tape.

Also being sold are Jackson's handwritten note explaining why he wanted an annulment from Lisa Marie Presley and a used half-ounce tube of skin-bleaching cream--why? I don't know. But you should probably spend your life savings on it.

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Taking it to 'the tart'

A woman is taking revenge on her cheating husband and his mistress by selling items of the adulterous affair on eBay.

The Australian woman --identified only by her username annastella007-- is selling a photo of lacy black panties ("size humongous") and an empty condom wrapper ("size small") in an auction ending Aug. 17.

"THEY ARE SO HUGE, I THOUGHT THEY MAY MAKE SOMEONE A NICE SHAWL OR EVEN BETTER, SOMETHING FOR HALLOWEEN PERHAPS,,," - annastella, on the panties

On the auction site, the woman recounts the day she discovered her husband of 22 years had been cheating on her with "the tart" (later identified as Kylie). Apparently she received a suspicious text from him (intended for the mistress) while she was at work and came home to find him desperately trying to keep her from entering the bedroom.

She got in there and found the goods. When she asked what the condom was for (because they had not used them together in years), the husband said he had dropped his phone in the toilet and used one he found in an old coat as a rubber glove to get it out. Clever, but she obviously knew his cell phone was fine from the text she received earlier. When asked where the panties came from, the man confessed he was a closet transvestite. Not helping your case, man...

Needless to say, annastella tossed the now ex-hubby (and all of his belongings) out of the house. And as some sort of weird "therapy" attempt, she put the evidence up for sale on eBay, only the site's policies on already-worn underwear prohibited her from selling the actual panties.

As of 10 p.m. Aug 13, the highest bid for the wrapper and pantie photo was $127.50. Incredible.

I, like probably most of you, am always amazed at how some of these things happen to sell, but I'm also a leery of the validity of all this. I mean, it'd be just as easy for me to make up an elaborate story and sell some obscure item so it gets on the news and I make an easy hundred bucks. I don't know if I could come up with the condom as a rubber glove thing, though, so...more power to her.

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