lAme-Rod

Let's call today metamorphosis Monday in Yankeeland.

First, our little Yankee fan--who turned off the horrendous World Series innings before the champagne was popped--awoke only to find that it was not a bad dream and the Red Sux actually did win another anticlimactic World Series.

Then, little Yankee fan picks up the paper (except that's a metaphoric paper because who reads the paper anymore anyway? [I can say that, I write for the paper]) to read such headlines as "A-Rod opts out," "Mr. Everything Departs," and my personal favorite, "GET LOST."

And then a text message comes in around 1:30 from a good friend, reading: "Joe Girardi = new manager."


...I think I want out of this place.

A-Rod, you're a schmuck. Hank Steinbrenner, though I'm not a fan, said it best:

"It's clear he didn't want to be a Yankee. He doesn't understand the privilege of being a Yankee on a team where the owners are willing to pay $200 million to put a winning product on the field. I don't want anybody on my team that doesn't want to be a Yankee."

You want to leave? Fine. Go to the Red Sox? Good--screw you. If they take you, at least they'll never win another postseason game.

And though I've still not accepted Joe Torre leaving the Yanks, what happened to Donnie Baseball getting called up to big league, so to speak? I think Joe Girardi will be a good coach, but it hurts my little early-'90s-Yankee-loving soul to see Mattingly go (because he said he won't accept another Yankees coaching position).

But the moral of the story is...Manny Ramirez is still fat, Boston is still super lame and at least now when A-Rod chokes in the postseason, it will bring a smile to little Yankee fan's face.