Cos I'm Tripp-ing babies

You guys remember my post about the Palin family baby name generator? (If you didn't try it out, please do - it's quite entertaining). Well, we weren't just being mean by making fun of the ridiculous names the children in the family have: Apparently they're all quite fine with producing offspring with equally as terrible names.

Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter, Bristol, gave birth to a son Sunday. The baby's name? Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. If you got that output from the Palin family baby name generator, you win!

Tripp weighed in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces.

What makes me laugh is Bristol's fiance, Levi Johnston, apparently had the following on his MySpace page in September before news dropped about his sweetheart's pregnancy: Under status: "in a relationship," but after kids: "I don't want kids."

Either way, it looks like the couple will make out by selling photos of the new baby Palin. Reports Monday night put the number close to $300,000.

Yes, Sarah Palin is now a grandma. I guess now she's gone from MILF, to VPILF, to GILF. Either way, I've got a message for her: Have a nice Tripp, hopefully we don't see you Fall of 2012.

yup, lots of "coughing"

As predicted, my computer completely exploded with pop-ups -- something about Adware? Spyware? A virus in the computer's registry?? Who knows.

My boyfriend dedicated about six hours of his Sunday trying to debug the thing, but apparently whatever I picked up is a bitch of a bug. So I will try to post as much as possible from my much slower -- but less-virusy -- computer, but I can't guarantee anything. Sorry ya'll :(

*cough*

No, I'm not sick, but I am moderately convinced my laptop came down with some sort of virus Christmas Eve. Luckily, (I think) it's all better now -- I just didn't turn it on for three days (hence the brief hiatus) and hoped it sorted itself out, which pretty much guarantees something worse will happen in about 10 minutes.

Hope everyone had a good holiday. Who's looking forward to 2009?? I am if it'll bring me a new job, more money, increased relaxation time and a slight drop in lbs. Oh yeah, and if that recession thing could go away, that'd be hot.

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

Just think: 25 years ago that phrase was nothing more than a line in some movie about a little blond kid and his BB gun, a movie that debuted around Thanksgiving and was pulled from theaters before Christmas even came around.

But now, "You'll shoot your eye out, " sexy leg lamps and the phonetical pronunciation of "fragile" (fraaah-jeeel-aaay,--must be Italian) are Christmas staples, especially thanks to TBS and TNT's 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" -- a tradition that began in 1997.

Love it or hate, the movie has become a holiday tradition: Last year, the movie marathon brought in 4.4 million viewers - about 1/6 of the American population. Pretty ridic.

What's also ridiculous is the fact that a San Diego man has recreated the Parker house after winning an eBay auction, and it's become a major tourist attraction in Cleveland. Read all about it here. Roadtrip anyone?

And if you have any interest in reading the original movie review for "A Christmas Story," click here.

So, enjoy your holiday and sing "fra-ra-ra-ra" as you enjoy 24 hours of Christmas classic -- I triple dog dare you.

"I, Heidi, take thee Spencer..."

I figured it'd been awhile since my last "Hills" full episode recap, so when better to get back to it than the season finale? So sit back, relax and embrace my sarcastic commentary like Heidi and Lauren at a not-really-black-tie event.

So let's start with the less important --but just as staged-- storyline of the night: Audrina and Justin Bobby heading out to Palm Springs on a weekend getaway. Can we just talk about JB in the overalls without a shirt on his motorcycle? Aaaaand cue the banjo here. But what really made me laugh was Justin's acute observation that every time they go away together, it's never just the two of them -- it's always Audrina's friends "nibbling" in her ear. He's right. And in Palm Springs it was just the two of them... and the producers... the director...the camera men...the boom mic guy...

Things got more interesting when Justin Bobby presented a ring -- from his mouth. That's charming. He did manage to call Audrina by her name rather than the ever-affectionate "dude." For a split second I thought they would totally get married. I mean, it's no Patron, but the two of them had been chugging from that champagne bottle.

Back in LA, Lauren and Lo got all do-ed up (though their hair looked exactly the same as it always does) for a black-tie event hosted by none other than Brent Bolthouse. And Lauren wore lime green. (Shoutout to the show's editing team for cutting in the Dandy Warhols "We Used the Be Friends" here.)

Shockingly enough, Heidi was "working" the event, and I love that she looks around and says, "I haven't seen people look this nice and dressy in a long time," yet the girl just got married three days ago.

Anyway, Heidi approaches Lauren for a heart-to-heart... which really turns into three minutes of the most awkward television ever. There's a lot of nodding and furrowed brows (as per usual on The Hills), and the word "madame" is used way too many times than it ever should between two peers. The most cringe-worthy moment comes after Lauren drops the, "It is what it is" bomb and Heidi pauses, looks pensively and says, "You been working out?" Um? There's more champagne chugging --this time on Lauren's end-- and I am again waiting for two more people to run away and get married.

Speaking of elopement, we find Heidi and Spencer this week attempting to make their Mexico matrimony legal in the US. We also witness Heidi awkwardly explaining the marriage to her friends, family and co-workers. You gotta feel bad for Heidi's mom here -- the poor woman just wants to be there to watch her daughter get married. "There are a lot of people hurt here, a lot of people who have helped mold you into the person you are today," she says. Wait, am I wrong in thinking she's referring to Heidi's plastic surgeons here?

Against her family's wishes, Heidi goes to the courthouse to meet Spencer and Stephanie for a really romantic ceremony before a fake judge. (Yeah, this was shot after hours and probably wouldn't have been legal even if they had gone through with it.) Steph implores Spencer to hold off on the marriage because it's not what his bride really wants. And even though he whines about having gotten all dressed up in his nice suit, he has a change of heart and tells Heidi he'll "deal with" giving her her dream wedding.

And hey, did anyone else think the judge said "through all the day of your lies" to Spencer during his vows? Freudian slip much? I wish she would have made him swear to shave off his Santa Claus beard, too.

So that ends season, what, four? Of course they didn't get married -- it would have essentially put the kibosh on all of the storylines that producers had cooked up. Those people can't keep coming up with new things all the time - they aren't miracle workers for God's sake.

And on the After Show, Lauren's big announcement was --surprise, surprise-- another season of The Hills is forthcoming. Perhaps there will be little Speidlets soon. I wouldn't be surprised if the producers offered them a raise in pay to reproduce.

Here's the final installment of my Hills drinking game. Until next time...

• Whenever you hear "dude"--twice if it's a term of endearment.
• If you have a craving for Sonic's chocolate cheesecake bites.
• Whenever you're a little sadder than you expected that Whitney is gone.
  
• Any time someone takes a swig of champagne.
• Every time Heidi and Spencer's wedding is blamed on alcohol or Mother Nature.

RELATED LINKS
Speidi and the Patron make it happen
Maybe it's not such a Speidi wedding
It's a Speidi wedding!

Person of the Year '08

Yup, shockingly enough, Barack Obama has been named Time's Person of the Year for 2008. (I'm sure Sarah Palin was hoping she'd at least win something this year...but praise the Lord she didn't.)

It's no surprise our soon-to-be first Black president is gracing the cover of the annual issue, but I'd still suggest you take a gander. The article is very well-written, and right off-the-bat puts to rest your, 'Gee, Obama as Person of Year - that's original' complaints.

It's unlikely that you were surprised to see Obama's face on the cover. He has come to dominate the public sphere so completely that it beggars belief to recall that half the people in America had never heard of him two years ago — that even his campaign manager, at the outset, wasn't sure Obama had what it would take to win the election. He hit the American scene like a thunderclap, upended our politics, shattered decades of conventional wisdom and overcame centuries of the social pecking order. Understandably, you may be thinking Obama is on the cover for these big and flashy reasons: for ushering the country across a momentous symbolic line, for infusing our democracy with a new intensity of participation, for showing the world and ourselves that our most cherished myth — the one about boundless opportunity — has plenty of juice left in it.

Read on: 2008 Person of the Year. (Don't you love that they no longer call it 'Man of the Year'?)

Blogs of note

You may or may not have noticed a new link in my "more reading material" section, but I'd like to give a plug to my friend (and former roommate), Katfox, who has just started a new blog about her photography. Please check out her stuff and feel free to visit her blog and/or Web site. You can also get in touch with her to have her take some kick-ass photos for you because she's awesome. End of story.

And while I'm in a promoting mood, check out some other friends of The Jerc Store, namely Geoff, Miss, David Dust and Billions of Currency. Lots of fun --and diverse-- reading material on there for ya, so check 'em out.

Major FAILs of the Week

[NOTE] I should put my own picture up here based on my complete failure as of late to update more than three times a week. Sorry :(

Here are this week's Major FAILs of the week. Feel free to share your FAIL photos/videos here or by sending them to failpictures@gmail.com.



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Speidi and the Patron make it happen

As much as I feel the last episode of "The Hills" deserves a Jerc Store-style recap (and perhaps it will get one, if my job ever stops consuming my life), I just have to ask the question now: Was anyone else super confused by the Speidi wedding in the Mexico this week?

I consulted with fellow Hills-buff, Stef, on this and she confirmed that it wasn't just me being as vapid as most of the girls on the show - the continuity of the episode really didn't make sense.

In real life --that is, the life that you and I lead-- news of Heidi and Spencer eloping in Mexico broke Nov. 24, just three weeks before this episode aired. Meanwhile (in Hillsland), Lauren and the crew are saying goodbye to Whitney, who is about to leave for a new life in New York City. But, we've been seeing promos for Whitney's new show, "The City," for at least three weeks now and the show premieres in two. How is that they'd already shot, cut, edited and shipped all the footage for Whitney's new show essentially before she's left?

Did that explanation make sense to anyone? No? Okay, try this one out then...

Heidi and Spencer go to Mexico. One night they're drinking--heavily. Now, it's nighttime when Spencer seemingly forces shots of Patron down Heidi's throat and convinces her to marry him right then and there. (Of course, being the gentleman he is, Spencer pushes, pushes, pushes and then sticks his lip out and says, "You're sure?" Please.) The next time we see the couple --now newlyweds-- is during a morning in their hotel room as Heidi talks about being hungover last night from all the Patron. But yet, they whip out a camcorder to show footage of their wedding, shot in daylight.

If they were taking the shots at night and decided on a whim to get married at night, how was the wedding that they're seemingly discussing "the morning after" shot in daylight?

Could this mean that The Hills is --OMG-- fake? Did they do something like this to --GASP-- improve ratings?

[UPDATE] And hey, previews for next week's season finale show Heidi and Spencer making their elopement legal in a courtroom, but apparently that was filmed after hours and is likely not real either. Haaaaaa.

Thanks, Geoff and Stef!

'Oh, you guys can't breathe in outerspace?'

"Dark Knight" ads are popping up all over the place now that the movie is out on DVD and word just came out that Heath Ledger has been posthumously nominated for a Golden Globe. (Ledger, who played the Joker, will vie for the title of best supporting actor Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr., Ralph Fiennes and Philip Seymour Hoffman.)

All this Batman talk got me thinking about how awesome Dark Knight is and reminded me of a funny College Humor short I saw a few months back. I'm a Batman fan all the way (much more realistic, relative to other super heroes), but this made me laugh.




RELATED LINKS
Riddled with rumors
Dark curse?
Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...and a Chupa Chup
Coasting by
"WHY SO SERIOUS?"
Update: Heath Ledger death an accident
Update: Heath Ledger's death
BREAKING NEWS: Actor Heath Ledger found dead

Major FAILs of the week

Here are this week's Major FAILs of the week. Feel free to share your FAIL photos/videos here or by sending them to failpictures@gmail.com.


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Chimpanzee riding on a Segway

So, I haven't been able to get this song out of my head ALL DAY. It's silly, yes, but it's damn catchy. (And moderately impressive, too. I've never tried riding one of those things, but I'd imagine it's tricky.)

Better shake it like a Polaroid while you can

I'm a photo freak. I'm constantly documenting every important and mundane moment in my life by way of my awesome digital camera. That thing comes with me everywhere. But for the most part, those pictures just end up on Facebook, because it's en vogue. Having tangible photos is so last decade, right?

Well, apparently the people at Polaroid picked up on that: This month is the last month the iconic Polaroid film will be in production. Pretty sad, huh?

What will Outkast tell us to shake it like now? On what will Tyra base her "America's Next Top Model" castings? What will Eskimos get when they sit on ice for too long?????

Read more about Polaroids production shutdown and Americas response. (And for your information, shaking a Polaroid might actually hurt your picture.)

I feel a little guilty now. Like my love of the convenience that is digital photography is the sole cause of this. Actually, maybe we can just blame Ashton Kutcher because his stupid digital camera commercials never stop being on television.

RIP Polaroid. You will be missed.

Thanks, TJS!

I nose this ain't a good way to die...

Yeah, it's been almost a week since my last update - work is killing me, but hopefully things will calm down soon. Regardless, I'm pretty sure I 'picked' a nugget of story to come back with...

Apparently no one taught Ian Bothwell that picking your nose isn't a good habit to get into. The 63-year-old Manchester man reportedly died 'digging for gold' in his shnoz.

According to a coroner's report, Bothel -who suffered from dementia and alcoholism- died from a nosebleed caused by constant picking. Authorities initially believed the man had fallen and hit his head, but later found his nasal cavity was filled with blood as a result of epistaxis (aka nosebleed).

"There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death."- Manchester coroner Nigel Meadows

I'm writing this one down to threaten my kids with some day. "Hey, little Jimmy - quit picking you're nose or you'll end up dead in a pool of your own nose blood like Ian Bothwell."

Major FAILs of the Week

Here are this week's Major FAILs of the week. Feel free to share your FAIL photos/videos here or by sending them to failpictures@gmail.com.


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Plaxico durress

By now, you've probably heard about New York Giants wide receiver, Plaxico Burress, stupidly shooting himself in a New York nightclub this weekend. Not surprisingly, the Giants announced today that they're placing Plax on the reserve non-football injury list, which means he won't be back for the postseason, either.

This move comes a day after the wide receiver was charged with illegal weapons possession, for which he could receive between 3 and 1/2 to 15 years in prison if convicted. Burress is due back in court March 31, unless he reaches a plea agreement.

Burress shot himself in the right thigh in the VIP section of the nightclub about 1 a.m. Saturday, police said. He did not have a permit to carry a handgun in New York.

A witness reported hearing a popping sound before Burress' legs began to shake, according to a criminal complaint. It said the person saw a bloody pistol fall out of his pant leg and land on the floor before Burress said, "Take me to a hospital."

Apparently, Giants receiver Steve Smith also had a run-in with guns this weekend, but he was on the other end of it.

Police in Clifton, N.J., said Smith was robbed at gunpoint in the early hours of Nov. 25. The second-year receiver had returned to his townhouse in a chauffer-driven car when he was approached from behind by man who held a gun to his head, Clifton police Capt. Robert Rowan said. Smith turned over his jewelry and money and cell phone, the captai said, and the man is still being sought, he said.

Well...if Burress is out, I guess it's a good thing nothing happened to Steve Smith. Maybe if Smith had a gun, no one woulda messed with him, haaaa. Actually, I shouldn't joke about that. I don't want anything to screw up the tear the Giants are on right now.

Recession is in session

It's official, folks: We've got a recession on our hands.

The National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday that the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007.

Employers have trimmed payrolls by 1.2 million jobs in the first 10 months of this year. On Friday, economists are predicting the government will report a loss of another 325,000 jobs for November. Well that's uplifting...

Click here to read more from CNNMoney.com.

Sick, sick, sick

I think I have a decent immune system, but I'm pretty sure my body can sense it's Thanksgiving and just collapses every year around this time. Fortunately--well, kind of--my boyfriend is sick too, so we have been sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves the last few days.

During that time, he came across Google's Flu Trends, this nifty little site that shows you how your state compares with others at any given time throughout the year. And if you check it out, you'll notice that the entire country is at "low" risk right now, but we're riiiiight about to hit the national spike in flu sickness - whoo-hoo!

Thanks, TJS!

Rampage in India

[UPDATE] 11 p.m., Nov. 28: The last terrorists involved in the attacks at Mumbai's Taj Mahal hotel were killed early Saturday, Mumbai's police chief told CNN-IBN. But the director-general of the national security guard said the situation remains unresolved. The conflicting accounts came after a fire broke out and a flurry of heavy gunfire. The death toll from the rampage has risen to 160 civilians, police and military, including 5 Americans. Indian officials are suggesting the terrorists came from Pakistan.

Not to be a downer on your holiday happiness, but it's important to note what's going on in India today/tonight.

From CNN.com: Gunmen rampaged through a series of targets in the Indian city of Mumbai killing indiscriminately and taking hostages at two luxury hotels.

Mumbai police spokesman Satish Katsa said gunmen have taken over the Taj Mahal Hotel and Hotel Oberoi, and were holding hostages on multiple floors.

Flames and smoke poured from the Taj early Thursday, and several explosions were heard at the building. (Photo, right: Blood stains the floor of the railway station.)

At the Oberoi the military reportedly entered the building and a large explosion was heard shortly afterwards. Another hostage situation was unfolding at Cama Hospital, CNN's sister network in India, CNN-IBN reported.

One witness told local reporters that gunmen tried to find people with U.S. or British passports and took about 15 of them hostage.

Maybe it's not such a Speidi wedding...

Okay, so I'm backtracking on the Heidi-Spencer wedding, as is the rest of the free media world--or at least those who had nothing better to write about than the faux-reality show stars' apparently faux wedding in Mexico last week. (Yeah, and that includes you, Associated Press. You're not so much better than the rest of us. Pfft.)

It appears as though Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's elopement was not actually a legally binding union, as previously reported.

"We had a beautiful ceremony here ... officiated by a minister and photographed by the hotel photographer. We've never been happier. And, like other elopements that happen outside the country, we'll take care of the legal details when we get home," the couple said in a statement.

Us Weekly, which features the two on its cover this week, reported that Speidi decided to get married while drinking margaritas on the beach. An hour later, they were exchanging vows, the magazine said. Gee, that sounds super well-thought out!

Apparently, it was thought out enough for MTV to get in on the action: "Fans will be able to see the exclusive footage from the ceremony in an upcoming episode, and we will continue to follow the newlyweds' relationship as it plays out in real life," said Executive Producer of "The Hills," Liz Gately.

It's not clear right now whether the footage of the ceremony will be a reenactment of the ceremony or footage obtained from another source. But I'm so totally sure it will be as totally real as the rest of the show.

Black --and deadly-- Friday

I've never been into the whole Black Friday thing, though I admittedly thought about getting up at 4 a.m. today and hitting the stores from some deals. Unfortunately for my shopping ambition (but fortunately for my dwindling back account), I am working today...not quite sure why, because everyone I need to contact --including the police department-- is off today, grrr.

Anyway. For those of you who got out to the stores or plan to get in on the tail end of the door buster deals, good for you... but be careful! I just caught wind of an incident in Long Island where a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a Black Friday crowd. (*Note, this picture was not taken from the same Wal-Mart.)

The news story seems to have a lot of unconfirmed information, but apparently a pregnant woman also taken down in the stampede and despite previous reports of a miscarriage, doctors say the baby is fine.

The unidentified worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," said Jimmy Overby, 43, a co-worker. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too...I literally had to fight people off my back."

Crazy stuff. Click to read more.

Thanks, TJS.

[UPDATE] 11 p.m. Nov. 28: In an unrelated incident, two men were shot dead in a Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, California, after they argued in the store, police said. The toy company and authorities said the California shootings had nothing to do with shopping on Black Friday

Day 'o turkey

Happy Thanksgiving
from The Jerc Store!

It's turkey time again! Hey, did you know that the first Thanksgiving celebration lasted three years? True story. How sweet would that be to be off from work on holiday for three years? Anyway, enjoy your food, football and five-hour, post-feast nap -- I know I will.

And hey, be careful out there shopping tomorrow.

Major FAILs of the Week

Here are this week's Major FAILs of the week. Feel free to share your FAIL photos/videos here or by sending them to failpictures@gmail.com.



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It's a 'Speidi' wedding!

Well, they did it. 'Hills' stars Heidi and Spencer have reportedly tied the knot, with fewer family members than photogs in attendance. Gee, that's not like Speidi at all...

Us Weekly has confirmed the union, and will feature a full spread on the private ceremony in its upcoming issue, on stands Wednesday.

Here's a taste:

Introducing, Mrs. Heidi Montag Pratt!

The Hills star wed her longtime beau, Spencer Pratt, in a secret ceremony in Cabos San Lucas, Mexico, on Nov. 20, Us Weekly reports in its newest issue. See exclusive photos wedding photos in Us Weekly's new issue, on stands Wednesday.

"The minute we said our vows, I couldn't stop crying," Montag, 22, tells Us.

See more amazing celebrity wedding photos.

At the altar, Pratt, 25, told his bride: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I'm honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always."

Someone who might not be so thrilled? Montag’s mother.

"I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, 'Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle,'" Montag tells Us.

"She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that," she adds. "I don't know when I'll tell her." Um? I guess now?

Pratt and Montag have had a tumultuous relationship.

In 2007, Pratt popped the question (after just eight months of dating) with a diamond-encrusted platinum band set with a purple stone that he'd purchased from the mall.

See how much stars paid for their engagement rings.

But after bickering over Pratt hitting on women in a club, the pair took a "relationship vacation" just a few months later.

"I'd just turned 21, and it was scary because I was so young," Montag told Us following the split.

(What happened to the bling? "I turned it into a pendant," Montag told Us in December. "It wasn't my dream ring. I don't like what it represents. I might sell it.")

The pair gave it another go in May 2008, after a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico where "Heidi read me biblical passages like 'Honor thy wife,'" Pratt explained.

By the end, he'd convinced her to plan their wedding again.

"I'm ready to marry Spencer," Montag told Us that month. "He's my soulmate."

Just what the Dr. ordered

It's not exactly free health care, but as of right now, you can now get a free 'appointment' with Dr. Pepper.

The soft-drink maker said earlier this year that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if Guns N' Roses released its "Chinese Democracy" album before the end of 2008. The album, which has been famously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale today (Sunday).

And what the heck is the connection here?

"It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love. So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic." - Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt.

Coupons for a free 20-ounce Dr. Peppers will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can = no no
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Happy Birthday, Leen!

If there were CNN.com in Hell...

Hilarious image from holytaco.com! Click photo for a better view.

Back of the hand-wich

You know, sometimes my boyfriend jokingly tells me he's gonna give me a knuckle sandwich, but I think this guy took it a bit too far...

From the AP - A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday.

Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.

The victim nearly lost control of the car because she couldn't see the road and the man then allegedly ripped off the rear-view mirror and used it to shatter the windshield.

The man was freed on $7,500 bail.

Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.

...Perhaps it was a CLUB sandwich? Haaaaa. (I get this obnoxiously corny sense of humor from my father, by the way.)

I love stories like this. Every so often, a precious gem of a police blotter item comes across our desks in the newsroom. Last week, I wrote about a guy who crashed his truck into a gas station, knocking out two gas pumps, the attendant's booth and a Snapple machine...and then walked home, leaving the car there, like police weren't going to trace it back to him. (And yes, he was drunk.) But man, assault and battery by sandwich - that's delectable.

Sex down under

The Hollywood actor with the most pornstar-like name has been named People's 2008 Sexiest Man Alive.

Hugh Jackman, star of the upcoming "Australia," will be featured on the cover of this week's mag, which hits stands Friday.

The 6-foot-2 Wolverine likes to sing and make pancakes at his home, his wife of 12 years, Deborra-Lee Furness, told the magazine. Hmm... that kinda makes him seem a little less bad-ass.

Jackman beat out a number of hunks to win the sexy title. People gave us a sneak preview of the runners up before Friday's issue is out, including Daniel Craig, Twilight's Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron and Michael Phelps (um, are they just looking at pictures of his body?).

There were also a few blasts from the past, namely Mark-Paul Gosselaar and ex-Dawson Creek-er Joshua Jackson, who have both reinvented themselves in primetime dramas "Raising the Bar" and "Fringe," respectively. Hey, what about Mario Lopez?

Who else can we expect? Guess we'll have to wait for the issue to come out, but I'm hoping to see Chase Crawford (left, Nate, "Gossip Girl"), Ryan Kwaten (Jason, "True Blood") and of course, Bret Michaels! haaaa

RELATED LINKS
Sexy time

Major FAILs of the Week

Here are this week's Major FAILs of the week. Feel free to share your FAIL photos/videos here or by sending them to failpictures@gmail.com.


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Proposition 8 passing

NOTE: This is a special-guest feature from my coworker (and fellow blogger), Geoff, regarding the recent passing of Proposition 8. Check out his blog and visit often!

I've been asked to write this post about Proposition 8 passing in California not only because I have a super-awesome blog about facing anti-gay prejudice, but also, I suspect, because I seem to have picked up the "gay beat" at the office.

For those not in the know, Proposition 8 was a referendum passed this November in California by a margin of 52-48. It actively removes gay couples' previously legal right to marry under the state constitution, defeating a recent state Supreme Court decision saying that very constitution afforded us those rights.

The way in which it was done has brought about a lawsuit, something I plan to post about on my blog in the future. The proposition's passage was a surprise for many because early polls showed the "no" votes winning by a decent margin. A last-minute cash infusion from certain right-wing causes, notably the Church of Latter-Day Saints, helped the "yes" side air a great number of misleading ads and apparently pushed them to victory.

Although it passed along with similar referendums in Florida and Arizona (where it had previously failed), and an initiative in Arkansas (where gay marriage is already illegal) banning unmarried couples from adopting, Prop 8 is particularly unsettling for several reasons, mostly because it actively took rights away, using a document that's supposed to grant them. That sets a dangerous precedent that should scare us all.

Protesters across the nation demonstrated their displeasure with the passage of California's Proposition 8 on Saturday, and with any luck, gave the gay-rights movement some much-needed momentum. I know a number of people who were involved in the various demonstrations, and I've heard they were moving, massive, and momentous.

My friend Dima Otvertchenko called Saturday "a day to remember." He also took some great pictures of the rally in Los Angeles, and they make me feel all warm, fuzzy and empowered inside. Check 'em out:

You can see more of them here.

My friend Nori, above left, told me she wore her rainbow Batman shirt specifically for the march. "Though I suspect the 'Straight Against H8' sign Dima and I had broke a few hearts," she noted sagely. (Soon you'll be able to see her thoughts on marching over at her own blog.)

Sara Perle, a friend of mine who's a law student in New York City, says The New York Times underestimated the protest there with its guess of 4,000 people. She told me that a friend of hers who volunteered had a somewhat better view than she did and thought there were about 20,000 people there.

"I could only see a very small part of it because it was so packed I couldn't get around the corner!" Sara said. "They had traffic basically down to one lane on Broadway and people totally packed on either side of the street."

She also suggested you look up estimates of the turnout at the protest nearest you.

Another friend of mine posted a note on Facebook describing the rally in Santa Barbara, Calif. which he said featured speakers from all walks of life talking about why this is something we need to protest.

It all sounds very moving, and I'm sorry to have missed it, but it was my boyfriend's birthday this weekend, and he had to work on protest day. While I work a normal week, his days off are Thursday and Friday, and though he managed to get Sunday (his actual b-day) off, he had no such luck with that day in-between. I live in central New Jersey while he lives 2.5 hours north, outside of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., so seeing each other takes a bit of planning.

That means that while everyone was protesting, I was up in Fishkill, N.Y. doing laundry, grabbing a last-minute card and one final gift, and then going out to dinner.

I rationalized missing everything by deciding that celebrating him would be my own form of protest. While I didn't get them to do the birthday "gong parade" to our intimate table for two at O'Sho in Poughkeepsie, I did give him a pile of presents the next morning, making him a very happy 25-year-old.

So to all of you who protested, please accept my sincere thanks! And to you who voted for Prop 8, I say this:

Too bad! I still love him, and that's not something you can change with a poorly reasoned law.

I remain firmly convinced that history will be on our side, and that in our lifetime we'll be able to get a real, 100% legal and federally approved marriage. But I'm not about to sit around waiting for someone else to make it happen!

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