"You'll shoot your eye out!"

Just think: 25 years ago that phrase was nothing more than a line in some movie about a little blond kid and his BB gun, a movie that debuted around Thanksgiving and was pulled from theaters before Christmas even came around.

But now, "You'll shoot your eye out, " sexy leg lamps and the phonetical pronunciation of "fragile" (fraaah-jeeel-aaay,--must be Italian) are Christmas staples, especially thanks to TBS and TNT's 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" -- a tradition that began in 1997.

Love it or hate, the movie has become a holiday tradition: Last year, the movie marathon brought in 4.4 million viewers - about 1/6 of the American population. Pretty ridic.

What's also ridiculous is the fact that a San Diego man has recreated the Parker house after winning an eBay auction, and it's become a major tourist attraction in Cleveland. Read all about it here. Roadtrip anyone?

And if you have any interest in reading the original movie review for "A Christmas Story," click here.

So, enjoy your holiday and sing "fra-ra-ra-ra" as you enjoy 24 hours of Christmas classic -- I triple dog dare you.

'Oh, you guys can't breathe in outerspace?'

"Dark Knight" ads are popping up all over the place now that the movie is out on DVD and word just came out that Heath Ledger has been posthumously nominated for a Golden Globe. (Ledger, who played the Joker, will vie for the title of best supporting actor Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr., Ralph Fiennes and Philip Seymour Hoffman.)

All this Batman talk got me thinking about how awesome Dark Knight is and reminded me of a funny College Humor short I saw a few months back. I'm a Batman fan all the way (much more realistic, relative to other super heroes), but this made me laugh.




RELATED LINKS
Riddled with rumors
Dark curse?
Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...and a Chupa Chup
Coasting by
"WHY SO SERIOUS?"
Update: Heath Ledger death an accident
Update: Heath Ledger's death
BREAKING NEWS: Actor Heath Ledger found dead

Sex down under

The Hollywood actor with the most pornstar-like name has been named People's 2008 Sexiest Man Alive.

Hugh Jackman, star of the upcoming "Australia," will be featured on the cover of this week's mag, which hits stands Friday.

The 6-foot-2 Wolverine likes to sing and make pancakes at his home, his wife of 12 years, Deborra-Lee Furness, told the magazine. Hmm... that kinda makes him seem a little less bad-ass.

Jackman beat out a number of hunks to win the sexy title. People gave us a sneak preview of the runners up before Friday's issue is out, including Daniel Craig, Twilight's Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron and Michael Phelps (um, are they just looking at pictures of his body?).

There were also a few blasts from the past, namely Mark-Paul Gosselaar and ex-Dawson Creek-er Joshua Jackson, who have both reinvented themselves in primetime dramas "Raising the Bar" and "Fringe," respectively. Hey, what about Mario Lopez?

Who else can we expect? Guess we'll have to wait for the issue to come out, but I'm hoping to see Chase Crawford (left, Nate, "Gossip Girl"), Ryan Kwaten (Jason, "True Blood") and of course, Bret Michaels! haaaa

RELATED LINKS
Sexy time

'True' hit

I was so happy to hear from several of my friends over the last few weeks that they are as obsessed with HBO's "True Blood" as I am. And now CNN is jumping on the vindication train. Whoo!
If you've never watched the show (or have only watched one episode), you probably think the viewing population has been drinking some sort of Tru Blood Kool-Aid; I'll admit, I was a little weirded out by the first episode myself. But give it two episodes, and you'll be absolutely hooked.

Anna Paquin ("Fly Away Home" anyone?) stars as Sookie Stackhouse, an innocent-but-feisty Louisiana girl who's got the hots for Bill the vampire in a town where vamps have only recently begun integrating. The ancillary characters have got issues all their own, and there's lots of sex, drugs and blood-thirsty roles.

Read more about how the show has taken off since its September premiere.

Now, I know the haters are probably rolling their eyes over the whole vampire trend (ala "Twilight"), but this show is way, way better--and hotter. (Be warned, True Blood is not for watching with your parents in the room--I don't care how old you are.)

Anyway, give it a shot. Sundays at 9 on HBO. But if you'd like to get the full effect of how incredibly addictive the show is, go online or watch On-Demand and start from the beginning.

And for those of you who already True Blood fans, you'll be pleased to hear that it's been picked up for a second season!

Thanks, Geoff!

"I'll never let go, print journalism; I'll never let go..."

So, I'm depressed. Today, I drove into work for an ominous "all-staff" meeting with my company's executive editors, whom we only see about three times a year. And while we were all surprised that we weren't laid off [...yet], the news was grim. Apparently, the company is beginning its "streamlining" (code for "layoff") efforts, so the writing is on the wall.

Our company's satellite offices (ours included) are all being closed so we can consolidate staff into the main office (which is an hour away from my house). What they're really saying is that we're going to be crammed in like sardines until we're picked off one by one. Rumor has it that we'll each be meeting with the executive editors to discuss our positions, straight up "Office Space"-style.

In another dated movie reference, it's kinda like the Titanic just hit the iceberg and it's only a matter of time til we're all floating dead on planks of wood in the middle of the ocean. God, I love that I went to school for journalism. I mean, I knew the money was awful (my academic advisor told me that the guy who worked across the street at 7-Eleven would make more), but the economy --and the Internet-- are eating my industry alive.

Basically, it's not good... but my one laugh today came after reading an e-mail from my fellow reporter (and blogger), entitled "6 Emails You Get When Your Company is About to Go Under." Check it out and see how many apply to your job, and if it's a lot...start applying to other jobs.

RIP Michael Crichton

Famed writer Michael Crichton died unexpectedly Tuesday night after a private battle with cancer, sources say.

Crichton, a 66-year-old medical doctor, was best known for penning "Jurassic Park" and his work with the television show "ER."

He also wrote "The Andromeda Strain," "Sphere" and "Rising Sun" and his 2004 novel, "State of Fear," in which he took on global warming and the theories surrounding it. He directed "Westworld" (1973), "Coma" (1978), "Looker" (1981) and "Runaway" (1984).

Crichton, who graduated from Harvard Medical School, won an Emmy, a Peabody and a Writers Guild of America Award for "ER," and won other awards as well.

[click here to read his New York Times obit]

He is survived by his wife, Sherri, and daughter, Taylor.

Don't Vote!

Voter registration deadlines are a-coming! [Find your state's registration deadline here.] Are you registered? Do you know by when you need to do it? Do you care???

Maybe watching this PSA below will make you give a hoot - and if nothing else, Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman will give you a laugh. Check out a slue of celebs telling you, "DON'T VOTE!"

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

RIP 'Mr. Clean'

House Peters Jr., a TV actor who became the original Mr. Clean in Procter & Gamble's commercials for household cleaners, died today.

Peters, 92, died of pneumonia in a Los Angeles hospital. Not to make light of the situation, but it's somewhat ironic to me because when I was little, I used to confuse pneumonia with the ammonia, the agent used in the very products Peters was selling.

Other than his Mr. Clean persona, Peters played supporting roles in "Perry Mason," "Gunsmoke," "The Twilight Zone" and "Lassie," and had many parts in cowboy movies.

He is survived by his wife, Lucy Pickett, a daughter, two sons and four grandchildren.

Wake up and smell the rabies

Part of the reason I'm posting at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday is because I had a latte about four hours ago and the caffeine is pulsating through my veins. Can't sleep, can't sleep, gotta write... But thank the Lord I didn't find what one Iowa woman recently found in her cup o' joe:

The woman went about her regular nightly routine, turning her automatic coffee maker on before bed and drinking her usual cup of coffee the next morning. Only when she went to clean the coffee filter out that night, she noticed there was a dead bat inside.

The bat had been flying around her house earlier, but she didn't think too much of it. Health officials said the bat was sent to a lab but that its brain was too cooked by the hot water to determine whether it had rabies. Can we say, 'Ew!'?

I don't know about you, but just looking at that bat picture right there freaks me out. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel after drinking bat brain juice.

The Iowa Department of Public Health said the woman has undergone rabies treatment anyway. Hey, if all else fails, maybe she'll have a part in a future Batman film, ehh? ehh?

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds marry

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds married today in Canada, sources say.

Us Weekly reported on its Web site Sunday that the small wedding took place at a resort outside Vancouver, British Columbia. Guests included Scarlett's mother, Melanie Sloan, and her brother, Adrian Johansson, the magazine said.

Johansson, on whom I have a huge girl-crush, and Reynolds began dating last year and announced their engagement in May. This is the first marriage for both celebs.

Reynolds had been in a four-year relationship with singer Alanis Morrissette, who has reportedly wished her ex well. Johansson has previously been linked to Derek Jeter, Benicio del Toro, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake and "Black Dhalia" co-star Josh Hartnett. Daaaamn, what a list. But Ryan Reynolds is hot, too, so kudos to them. Can't wait for the beautiful babies!

RIP Paul Newman

Sorry, I'm a little late on this...

Actor Paul Newman has died pf cancer at the age of 83.

He died Friday in his home in Westport, Conn, according to spokeswoman Marni Tomljanovic.

Newman appeared in classic films such as "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Exodus," "The Hustler," "Cool Hand Luke," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Sting" and "The Verdict." He won an Oscar in 1986 for "The Color of Money."

In 1982, Newman and his friend A.E. Hotchner founded Newman's Own, a food company that produced food ranging from pasta sauces to salad dressing to chocolate chip cookies.

"The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films," Newman once wryly noted.

My family and I used the Newman's Own Raspberry Walnut Vinaigrette on our salads last night as a tribute.

Click here to read what some celebs are saying about the late Newman.

Newman is survived by his wife, Joanne Woodward, and five children.

Poehler peacing out

The writing on "SNL" is so terrible these days that it was only a matter of time before leading funny woman called it quits: Amy Poehler tells the new issue of Men's Vogue that she is leaving the show after the November elections.

If you caught this weekend's episode hosted by Michael Phelps, you may have noticed Poehler sporting more than just a baby bump --she's due this fall-- but that's not her only reason for getting out.

"It's gonna be really hard Boyz II Men hard to say goodbye to yesterday. SNL was dangerous, late-night, last-minute and star-studded, but like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down." - Amy Poehler.

The actress says she plans to be involved in some way with the mysterious "Office" spinoff, but there aren't too many details available on that.

Good for Poehler: Other than Weekend Update, that show has been a sinking ship. It did, however, generate a lot of buzz this weekend after Poehler teamed up with her "Baby Mama" co-star, Tina Fey, for an on-point Hillary Clinton and Tina Fey parady. So here's the clip in honor of Poehler's smart career move!

Have we been Punk'd?

Oscar award winner Jennifer Hudson is engaged...to Tiffany "New York" Pollard's leftovers!

Hudson's boyfriend of less than a year, David "Punk" Otunga, popped the question with Neil Lane diamond ring Friday in Los Angeles.

The proposal came on the Dreamgirl's 27th birthday.

Punk was a contestant on the second season of VH1's "I Love New York." He lasted 10 episodes, getting booted by New York before only "Buddha" and the season's winner, "Tailor Made."

In Hudson's defense, David --a Harvard grad and lawyer-- was definitely the most eligible bachelor of the bunch. Sadly, it seems as though Punk has fallen into the ex-reality star routine, as evidenced by his lame song, "Rock Out With Punk," on his MySpace page. I thought he was better than that, but hey, at least now he can ride the coattails of a woman with talent.

In a world...where books have faces...

Coming soon to a theater near you...Facebook:The Movie.


Sony confirmed to InternetNews.com that a movie about Facebook is in the works, and that Aaron Sorkin, writer of The West Wing, will be writing the picture for Sony producer Scott Rudin (No Country for Old Men).

The social networking site, which entertains more than 100 million users, has not agreed to cooperate with any film project, according to a rep, but it's "flattered" by the interest.

The plotline won't be some boy-meets-girl on Facebook drama, but rather a look at Facebook's humble--and controversial--beginnings. Harvard alumni magazine 02138 reported the film would be an adaptation of Ben Mezrich's upcoming book, Face Off (working title), which depicts allegations that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg stole his Harvard classmates' idea and source code from the site ConnectU (then HarvardConnection).

Sorkin created a Facebook page to get more acquainted with the site.

"I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I've started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she's been dead for 33 years.)" - The Aaron Sorkin and Facebook Movie page.

I think someone should also let Mr. Sorkin know how God-awful the "new" Facebook is, by the way.

And speaking of Facebook...click the box on the left-hand toolbar to become a fan of The Jerc Store on Facebook. (Shameless self promotion, yes indeedy!)

Riddled with rumors

Just in time for 'The Dark Knight' buzz to die down, rumors about the next installment's villains are starting to look a little more substantiated.

In an interview with MTV News, Michael Caine (Alfred in the movies) seemingly confirmed Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.

"I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, 'Are we going to make another one?' and They said, 'Yeah.' I said, 'How the hell are we going to top Heath?' And he says, 'I'll tell you how you top Heath -- Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.' I said, 'S--t, they've done it again!" - Michael Caine.

Now, I'm pretty sure Nolan hasn't officially signed on for the project and Christian Bale has already said he won't do a third movie without him... so something tells me not to get too pumped about the next Batman flick just yet.

[UPDATE] Apparently the rumors are just that: Debunked! Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman told MTV that he's not going to play Oswald Cobblepot. "No one has talked to me about it ever -- never," Hoffman said. "It happened, like, five years ago, too. It was a rumor back then and it's still a rumor. [laughs] It's just in the press. It's funny. I think I'm more interested in seeing someone else do it. I don't know if I'd be a good Penguin to be quite honest." From comicbookresources.com (thanks, Geoff!)

Hoffman is uber versatile, so he'd probably be a good choice. I'm pretty excited to see some freaky ass penguins, too. But Johnny Depp in makeup acting looney? That's not challenging at all. Been there, done that. There's no way he's going to top Heath. My vote's for Leo!

"Just forget you smelled it and move on"

"Entourage" is back - praise the Lord! Some semblance of quality television amidst reality garbage and political smut. Sundays at 10 p.m., HBO.

"If Vince passes on this now, he might as well be Cat Stevens doing butterfly strokes in the Caspian Sea searching for Mohammed." - Ari

Let's do the Time Warp again?

As if MTV weren't slaughtering quality television enough, now they're going after a cult classic film and its musical 'integrity.'

Variety has reported that the network is planning a "Rocky Horror Picture Show" remake, tentatively to air on Halloween 2009.

The original executive producer (Lou Adler) and screenplay will likely be used, but music not in the original RHPS could be used. God help us if they sign Miley Cyrus for the job.

No cast has been announced, but Russell Brand--who will also be hosting the MTV Music Awards next weekend--is rumored to be considered for the lead role of Dr. Frank N Furter, originally played by Tim Curry.

An angry Web site has been created to combat the remake, urging RHPS fans far and wide to sign a petition. There's even a contest to submit the best anti-remake photo. It's not the want to introduce the film to young audiences that's driving MTV's motivation, the site contends, it's to exploitation and money.

"This abortion will be worse than the usual shit they pour down on our throats. Prepare for the 'Highschool Musical' version of Rocky ... or worse yet, the 'Hairsparay The Musical' version of Rocky." - stoptheremake.com

The original "Rocky Horror," starring Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf, has grossed $140 million in domestic box office over the years, primarily from midnight screenings of the flick.

Inane things you can do, I (apparently) can't do better

Some of these may be questionable, but I thought maybe I'd stir up some controversy by posting AskMen.com's list of the Top 10 Things Only Men Can Do.

As a woman, I hesitate to say some of the things on the list made me laugh. It also made me think of Ron Burgundy's line, "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."

So without further ado... [click the links below for a more detailed account]

• 10. Go topless - well sometimes we'd prefer if you didn't...
  
• 9. Hold their liquor - Click this one. Totally true.
  
• 8. Manscape - Um, well, yeah. Duh.
  
• 7. Navigate spatially
  
• 6. Shave their heads
  
• 5. Play real sports - Don't even get me started on this one...
  
• 4. Fertilize eggs - Where, pray tell, are you finding these eggs?
  
• 3. Pee standing up - Yeah, true. Unfair.
  
• 2. F^%* things - Way to go, boys. Be proud.
  
• 1. Age well - I won't argue this one. George Clooney will still be hot when he's 85.
  

It's all in good fun, though, right? Any woman want to try her hand at creating a Top 10 Things Men Can't Do list? I'm sure we could come up with more than 10...

'Dark' curse?

By now, you may have heard about Morgan Freeman's car accident that put him in the hospital last night.

CNN.com is reporting that Freeman, 71, was in serious condition but appears to be "in good spirits" after suffering a broken left upper arm, several other fractures and neck and shoulder injuries in the wreck.

Freeman, who could have surgery as early as Monday, was enjoying the recent success of the latest installment in the Batman series. This got me thinking...

*Does anyone else see a somewhat ominous trend falling over the stars of "The Dark Knight"?

Similar to Poltergeist, perhaps this big blockbuster is carrying some sort of curse.

We've seen the death of star Heath Ledger ala painkillers and sleeping pills shortly after the movie wrapped. (Sources say his role as the Joker was causing insomnia.) Then, Christian Bale has assault charges filed against him by his mother and sister days after the movie's premiere. Now, Morgan Freeman's car flips off the road and he lands in the hospital as the movie continues smashing all sorts of records?

RELATED LINKS
Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...and a Chupa Chup
Coasting by
"WHY SO SERIOUS?"
Update: Heath Ledger death an accident
Update: Heath Ledger's death
BREAKING NEWS: Actor Heath Ledger found dead

Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint...and a Chupa Chup

If you haven't seen The Dark Knight yet, seriously... what the hell are you waiting for? If you're not planning on seeing it, that's one thing. But if you're just being lazy, you're being inconsiderate because everyone around you is biting their tongues not to ruin the movie by unwittingly discussing this, this or this. [DO NOT CLICK THERE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE!]

If I had kids, I would never take them to see this movie because it was scary as hell. But if I had kids, I would probably make them do the same thing these guys did.

Check out this "mini-interpretation" of The Dark Knight, in trailer form. [No spoilers, no worry!]

The Dark Knight - Kids Edition! (wizarduniverse.com) @ Yahoo! Video