Mmm, vegetable ballsagna

Now, I'm a really picky eater, but trying something out of this new cookbook would be pretty ballsy...

"The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls," by Ljubomir Erovic, has become the world's first testicle cookbook. Innovative? Sure. Disgusting? Very.

This sounds like it would be useful for some of my friends whose girlfriends keep their balls in a jar on the nightstand. But does the cover photo really need to be that graphic?

Brovic, a testicle cook and gourmet from Serbia (where organs are considered a delicacy), shares his 31 'balling' recipes, including Testicle Pizza, Testicle Pie and Battered Testicles. That last one sounds pretty painful, right boys?

The book was published today as a multimedia e-Book on YUDU, which lets anyone publish, share, buy or sell their own digital documents. You can also view videos demonstrations of Brovic's recipes so you check out peeling and slicing of the testicles.

The book contains recipes for bull, pig, ram, stallion, sheep, ostrich and more. No human balls, though. Shuck.

Guess he's not 'shooting blanks'...?

A Florida man reportedly shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend shot down having sex with him.

Police said Jonathon Guabello, 29, and his live-in girlfriend of five months, Ryan Mackinnon, came home from a bar around midnight Wednesday, and when Guabello started to get frisky, Mackinnon said she just wanted to go to sleep.

The 24-year-old girlfriend went into the spare bedroom, but several minutes later heard two gunshots. Guabello --who was under the influence of alcohol and Xanax-- came into the room with the gun and told her if she called for help or tried to put him in rehab, he'd kill her. He then stumbled into the kitchen, walked into the oven and knocked himself unconscious.

After being treated for the gunshot wounds at a local hospital, Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

So, men, what lesson did we learn today? When you're drunk, randy and wielding a gun, your girlfriend probably won't want to have sex with you.

Cells stunt semen

While some studies are looking at cell phones' effect on brain cells, this one is testing the testes.

Men, beware:
Your phone is cooking your balls!

Taking it to 'the tart'

A woman is taking revenge on her cheating husband and his mistress by selling items of the adulterous affair on eBay.

The Australian woman --identified only by her username annastella007-- is selling a photo of lacy black panties ("size humongous") and an empty condom wrapper ("size small") in an auction ending Aug. 17.

"THEY ARE SO HUGE, I THOUGHT THEY MAY MAKE SOMEONE A NICE SHAWL OR EVEN BETTER, SOMETHING FOR HALLOWEEN PERHAPS,,," - annastella, on the panties

On the auction site, the woman recounts the day she discovered her husband of 22 years had been cheating on her with "the tart" (later identified as Kylie). Apparently she received a suspicious text from him (intended for the mistress) while she was at work and came home to find him desperately trying to keep her from entering the bedroom.

She got in there and found the goods. When she asked what the condom was for (because they had not used them together in years), the husband said he had dropped his phone in the toilet and used one he found in an old coat as a rubber glove to get it out. Clever, but she obviously knew his cell phone was fine from the text she received earlier. When asked where the panties came from, the man confessed he was a closet transvestite. Not helping your case, man...

Needless to say, annastella tossed the now ex-hubby (and all of his belongings) out of the house. And as some sort of weird "therapy" attempt, she put the evidence up for sale on eBay, only the site's policies on already-worn underwear prohibited her from selling the actual panties.

As of 10 p.m. Aug 13, the highest bid for the wrapper and pantie photo was $127.50. Incredible.

I, like probably most of you, am always amazed at how some of these things happen to sell, but I'm also a leery of the validity of all this. I mean, it'd be just as easy for me to make up an elaborate story and sell some obscure item so it gets on the news and I make an easy hundred bucks. I don't know if I could come up with the condom as a rubber glove thing, though, so...more power to her.

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Inane things you can do, I (apparently) can't do better

Some of these may be questionable, but I thought maybe I'd stir up some controversy by posting AskMen.com's list of the Top 10 Things Only Men Can Do.

As a woman, I hesitate to say some of the things on the list made me laugh. It also made me think of Ron Burgundy's line, "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."

So without further ado... [click the links below for a more detailed account]

• 10. Go topless - well sometimes we'd prefer if you didn't...
  
• 9. Hold their liquor - Click this one. Totally true.
  
• 8. Manscape - Um, well, yeah. Duh.
  
• 7. Navigate spatially
  
• 6. Shave their heads
  
• 5. Play real sports - Don't even get me started on this one...
  
• 4. Fertilize eggs - Where, pray tell, are you finding these eggs?
  
• 3. Pee standing up - Yeah, true. Unfair.
  
• 2. F^%* things - Way to go, boys. Be proud.
  
• 1. Age well - I won't argue this one. George Clooney will still be hot when he's 85.
  

It's all in good fun, though, right? Any woman want to try her hand at creating a Top 10 Things Men Can't Do list? I'm sure we could come up with more than 10...

Experience the 'O'

In honor of my two friends' inquiring minds, please visit this site--it helps you understand what the opposite sex experiences during a 'ride on the ole bone roller coaster.'

Have fun ;)

Bud Selig is a wife beater??

Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig slipped up a bit last week when his cell phone rang during a press conference the other day. But it wasn't just the ringing that was distracting - it was Selig's accidental threat to his beloved wife. Watch and see.