Just what the Dr. ordered

It's not exactly free health care, but as of right now, you can now get a free 'appointment' with Dr. Pepper.

The soft-drink maker said earlier this year that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if Guns N' Roses released its "Chinese Democracy" album before the end of 2008. The album, which has been famously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale today (Sunday).

And what the heck is the connection here?

"It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love. So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic." - Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt.

Coupons for a free 20-ounce Dr. Peppers will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site. They'll be honored until Feb. 28.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can = no no
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Happy Birthday, Leen!

Let free-food ring!

My fellow Americans, tomorrow is Election Day and in the true spirit of our obese country, a bunch of businesses are bribing you to vote with free food!

Democratic, Republican, Independent, Libertarian - whatever. Vote for whomever you want, but make sure you vote! Here are a few freebie deals for you to check out tomorrow after you've hit up the polls:


For starters, Starbucks is offering a free 12-oz (tall) coffee to any voter. The promotion, announced in a 60-second commercial during this weekend's Saturday Night Live, is available all day. The company is going by the honor system, so just let the barista know that you voted and you're good to go! [click here to find a Starbs near you]

Krispy Kreme, on the other hand, is requiring an "I Voted Today" sticker for you to bag your free doughnut. Present the sticker to the cashier, and you'll receive a free star-shaped doughnut with patriotic sprinkles. Go America! [click here to find a Krispy Kreme near you]

You can also satisfy your Election Day sweet tooth by heading over to a Ben & Jerry's "scoop shop" between 5-8 p.m. tomorrow. The company is offering free scoops during that time with their "Democracy Never Tasted So Sweet" campaign. Scoops are limited one per customer.

I've also heard that some Chick-fil-A locations will be offering a free chicken sandwich to those wearing "I Voted Today" stickers tomorrow and those who bring in their political yard signs on Nov. 5. I'd check with your local Chick-fil-A for confirmation, but that's an awesome deal if you're more of a savory person like I am. [click here to find a Chick-fil-A near you]

If you've got any other freebie tips, feel free to post 'em! Happy voting!

RELATED LINKS
Decision 2008
Don't vote!
Baby mama ain't Obama
Grand Old convention
Dems fightin' words

Drinking makes you dumb!

Alright, that's not completely true...but a new study has found that drinking alcohol--even in moderate amounts--can shrink your brain.

I know a few people who are in trouble...

Is this significant? Judge for yourself: Does drinking alcohol shrink your brain?

Guess he's not 'shooting blanks'...?

A Florida man reportedly shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend shot down having sex with him.

Police said Jonathon Guabello, 29, and his live-in girlfriend of five months, Ryan Mackinnon, came home from a bar around midnight Wednesday, and when Guabello started to get frisky, Mackinnon said she just wanted to go to sleep.

The 24-year-old girlfriend went into the spare bedroom, but several minutes later heard two gunshots. Guabello --who was under the influence of alcohol and Xanax-- came into the room with the gun and told her if she called for help or tried to put him in rehab, he'd kill her. He then stumbled into the kitchen, walked into the oven and knocked himself unconscious.

After being treated for the gunshot wounds at a local hospital, Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

So, men, what lesson did we learn today? When you're drunk, randy and wielding a gun, your girlfriend probably won't want to have sex with you.

Wake up and smell the rabies

Part of the reason I'm posting at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday is because I had a latte about four hours ago and the caffeine is pulsating through my veins. Can't sleep, can't sleep, gotta write... But thank the Lord I didn't find what one Iowa woman recently found in her cup o' joe:

The woman went about her regular nightly routine, turning her automatic coffee maker on before bed and drinking her usual cup of coffee the next morning. Only when she went to clean the coffee filter out that night, she noticed there was a dead bat inside.

The bat had been flying around her house earlier, but she didn't think too much of it. Health officials said the bat was sent to a lab but that its brain was too cooked by the hot water to determine whether it had rabies. Can we say, 'Ew!'?

I don't know about you, but just looking at that bat picture right there freaks me out. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel after drinking bat brain juice.

The Iowa Department of Public Health said the woman has undergone rabies treatment anyway. Hey, if all else fails, maybe she'll have a part in a future Batman film, ehh? ehh?

Afternoon delight at Starbs

Speaking of tanking economy (see below), Starbucks is trying to take itself off life support by offering a new promotion to help save company loyalists a few bucks.

The "Treat Receipt" program allows Starbucks customers to bring in their receipt from a purchase earlier in the day to receive any grande iced drink for $2 (beginning at 2 p.m.). The deal is good til Sept. 2

This is excellent news for people who are addicted to Starbucks enough to regularly purchase its overpriced drinks twice a day, but for the rest of us... Is this really going to push you to spend $4 on a small--sorry, "tall"--coffee at 8 a.m. just to get the reduced price Mocha Choca Latta Ya Ya in the afternoon? Mm, probably not. You'd essentially be paying $6 to get the latter.

Still, the company says it is responding to customer requests for nationwide promotions, and Starbucks fiends who can overlook the backward logic in this program will be happy to know that their morning receipt could save them $2.15 off a Mint Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino. Okay, well that one kind of sounds good enough to go for broke...

RELATED LINKS
Your barista today is: Ronald McDonald?

Close out that tab, mate

An Australian man who had heart broken was drowning his sorrows in alcohol, only he probably could have literally drown his sorrows and himself in the amount of beer he was consuming per week.

Michael Leary, a father of four, was spending an average of $972 a week on beer after breaking up with his partner five years ago, according to the Northern Territory News. (And P.S. that's about enough to buy 2,500 bottles of beer per month)

Authorities figured the construction worker had a problem when he was charged a few months ago with drunk driving...for the seventh time--no? You think he's got a problem?? The man was not sentenced to jail time, but has been banned from drinking or even holding a beer for 12 months.

Leary earns approximately $2,000 a week gross - or about $1440 after tax, according to the court. About $150 goes to rent, $150 on buses and taxis and $50 on his phone. The rest? Beer.

What's funnier is that the while in court, the judge made fun of the guy's taste in beer, saying, "(That is) poor judgment on two counts there -- drinking that much and drinking Melbourne Bitter."

It's kind of like the Australian version of Natural Light. Like drinking $1,000 worth of Natural Light. Come to think of it: I think I have a friend who might get along with Mr. Leary pretty well...

Desperately seeking bridesmaid...

Picking your bridesmaids might be almost as difficult a task as paying for your wedding, but a Virginia Beach bride-to-be has put the decision in the hands of America, killing two birds with one auction.

Kerry Gray, a 23-year-old hairdresser, recently posted the opportunity to be a bridesmaid in her August 2009 wedding up on eBay in an effort to keep wedding costs under $7,000. Little did she know that placing the spot up for bid would not only save her money, but earn her media attention and free beverages for her big day.

Dr. Pepper Snapple Group placed the winning bid, which was originally $5,700 but was later upped to $10,000. The company may have found the auction because of its mention in a local newspaper article about Gray's money saving efforts. One of Gray's co-workers suggested she try eBay because a Dr. Pepper can was selling on the online auction site for $400.The company will be responsible for selecting a bridesmaid and will reportedly launch a Web site to help her find someone or provide a surprise guest.

Gray and her fiance, Karl Grau, had decided that they would provide a dress and shoes for the selected individual, as well as an invitation, plus one, to the reception. If a man happened to be the winner, they'd supply the tuxedo.

The couple makes a combined $32,000 per year and planned to bake their own wedding cake and pass up a DJ to instead hook up their iPods to a stereo system (which [sidenote] got me thinking about my road trip to Virginia this weekend, in which my three friends and I created embarrassing music playlists incredibly worthy of being played at any wedding/bar mitzvah. I should totally see if they'd hire us for the gig with that extra $5K.)

Anyway. Raise your frosty glasses of Dr. Pepper in a toast to the future newlyweds. Cheers!

Free this time, I swear!

Okay, no joke this time: Tomorrow (May 15) is Dunkin Donuts Free Iced Coffee Day!


For some reason, the chain set the first day of spring as its annual giveaway day, but backed out at the last minute, leaving freebie-seekers feeling stupid at the counter and awkwardly paying for a drink they were only ordering because they thought it was free.

But tomorrow we will all be given the opportunity to imbibe some delicious and free iced coffee--regular or flavored! [click here to find a D&D location near you]. Enjoy!

UPDATE: After the original entry was posted, I saw a commercial for a free McDonalds giveaway today (May 15), as well.

Between 7 a.m. and 10:30 a.m., McDonalds will be giving away a free Southern Style Chicken Biscuit--new this month--with purchase of any medium or large drink. Nothing like fried chicken between two buttery (and fatty) biscuits to start your day!

From 10:30 a.m. til 7 p.m., the chain will give away free Southern Style Chicken Sandwich (I think it's got pickles on it or something) with purchase of medium or large beverages.

RELATED LINKS
Paying for your free iced coffee
Forgiveness, please

Paying for your free iced coffee

So I'm sorry about getting your iced coffee-loving hopes up on Friday with promises of Free Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee Day because the company was not actually giving away free iced coffee.

When I posted that link on Wednesday, the official site was advertising the freebie and telling you to invite your friends by entertain their e-mail addresses. Not really sure what happened between Wednesday night and Friday morning, but the doughnut maker had this to say on its press room page.

My apologies again, folks. Perhaps we'll get another shot at it sometime this summer?


Thanks to 'my fav redhead' for bringing that to my attention, and extra apologies to Dave for placating me and taking me to D&D, even though I'm an idiot.

Forgiveness, please

To any loyal readers--

My deepest apologies for not providing you with inane news stories, reality television updates and the like for the last, what, week? My job is generally taxing, but in an effort to have off this Friday to imbibe with friends and relish in NCAA basketball (which I really don't even care about) at the most dominant sports bar in Philadelphia (which I certainly do care about), I have been working insane hours and sitting at droning meetings deep into the night.

Wow, that sentence was really long.

Anyway, it could be another few days before I'm able to form some semblance of an entertaining post, but I will leave you with two reminders to close out the week:

Tomorrow...I guess now it's really today...well, whatever--MARCH 20th is the first day of spring, which means it is Free Rita's Water Ice Day! In honor of the seasonal change, Rita's is rolling out a new cream ice flavor: Birthday Cake. Not sure how I feel about it, but at least I won't be wasting any money to try it.


And secondly, Friday is Free Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin Donuts--and no, that is not the imbibing I was referring to above (this is), but I will certainly take part in this free festivity as well. God, that picture is gorgeous.

Enjoy the next however many days, and please come back. I promise I'll stop sucking in a few days.

Dessert in a can = no no

I know I've written about the genius of Dr. Pepper's viral marketing campaign, but I finally got my hands on some Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper, and yeah, not so good.

I wasn't expecting much, so the first sip was, "Oh, hey, this isn't so bad. It really actually tastes like chocolate covered cherries." But by the second sip, my thoughts were more like, "Okay, this gets really old, really fast." And also, don't let it go flat. It gets even worse.

They offer a $1.00-off coupon on your next purchase, but even an $0.39 beverage that tastes that bad couldn't rope a bargain shopper like me in.

Sorry to say, but I'm thinking this beverage is going to follow the same broken road as good ole' Pepsi Kona, R.I.P. 1996.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Thanks, TJS!

IT'S A BIG AD

I ganked this off of an unknowing friend's away message the other day after the Super Bowl, obviously inspired by the lackluster showing of commercials this year.

It made me laugh a lot.

Thanks, Conte!

Best (and worst) of the 'Bowl

*Note: This is the second of two posts regarding the Super Bowl. This is everything but the actual game. For more game coverage, see below!

• Paula Abdul's pre-game performance: No one was more psyched than me to see the "Spellbound" songstress make her comeback, but man oh man...Paula's performance was more of a pantomime than a 'straight up' hit. Lip syncing worse than Britney and moves as bad as, well, Britney on MTV circa six months ago. And what was with the New Years Eve-looking hat? I couldn't have been the only one in American hoping that that weeble-wobble microphone would smack her in the face. [In case you missed it...]

• Paul Brogan's Super Bowl Rap: Soup or bowl? Soup, soup or bowl? This was the greatest part of the pre-game show, in my opinion. This guy is a freaking genius.
  
  

• Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers halftime show: I'm all for the 'Freefallin' and the 'American Girl,' but it's no coincidence that my friends and I spent the length of the halftime show in front of our cooled hors d'oeuvres, discussing tax rates and competitive eating. Every year, the halftime show is but a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more (thanks, Shakes). I'm sure some day, when I'm older, I'll enjoy performances from my childhood heroes -cough Spice Girls cough- but for now I'd rather load up on unnecessary cards for the second half than watch the streamers and strumming.

• Bawk, bawwwk: No one did the Chicken Dance in the end zone, so no-go on KFC's charity promise. Guess they were too chicken to pay the fines.
  

• Celebrity sightings: Perhaps Giants fans should be thanking Gisele Bundchen for the Patriots' choke; it's that Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson curse, praise the Lord! There were more blond bombshells in attendance last night too: We got a glimpse of a somewhat shy Pamela Anderson, who covered her face with straggly, bleached hair. And half the room 'aww'd' at the Jenny McCarthy/Jim Carey shot...and the other half said, 'Wait, what?' Yes, they've been together for a year and half - wake up! And of course, we had Mr. Peyton Manning watching over baby bro. Not gonna lie - as a superstitious Giants fan, I was a bit worried.

• Commercials: Of course. What would the big show be without a collection of exorbitant, over-hyped and underwhelming advertisements? This year, there were several forgettable commercials and a few memorable because they were so terrible (yes, I mean you, hideous girl dabbing Planters nuts on your hot spots). Here's a look at my top three:

• Mice like Doritos--Mickey's revenge.

• Chris Kattan might get sick of Diet Pepsi Max--what is love?

• Donkey Lips makes a comeback better than Paula--ahh, push it!
  

'Oh sh*t...'

A man who destroyed a neighbor's yard and fence while driving under the influence was pretty much shit outta luck Wednesday. That's because police found the proof they needed to tie him to the accident on the bottom of his shoes.

That's right. He was in deep doo-doo in more ways than one.

The yard that the Virginia man crashed into belonged to a man who owned four dogs and the suspect stepped in some dog doo before fleeing the scene, and proceeded to track it down the street. While police were following the poopsteps, they saw a white van swerving toward them and asked the driver to get out.

Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, reeked of alcohol and was charged with driving while impaired and drinking underage and released on $1,500 bail. That stinks, haaaaa.

TGIweekend

Hey, if beer pong has lost its jazz after 10 years of playing with the same group of people, perhaps you can try some mastery of the sport.

Check out this video of a skateboarder with arguably too much time on his hands. Some, or rather, most of these tricks are phenomenal, but please, if for some reason this is digitally mastered or completely fake, please let me know. It'd be like finding out Santa isn't real, but I'd still like to know so I can stop singing this guy's praises.

Watch and decide for yourself!

Your barista today is: Ronald McDonald?

Years ago, no one would have seen a McDonalds v. Starbucks war brewing, but now, the battle is on.

Both companies have been totally cramping each other's style lately: McDonalds has beefed up its coffee culture and Starbs has installed drive throughs and started serving breakfast sandwiches. The competition has been heating up, but you can add one more point in the McD's column because the fast food company plans to add coffee bars and baristas in 14,000 U.S. locations this year.

The move, which the company sees adding $1 million in sales, will bring cappuccinos, lattes, mochas and the Frappe, a drink similar to Starbucks' ice-blended Frappuccino, to the menu.

I'm up in the air on this one. Most people who go to McDonalds are looking for cheap, fast food and drink. Even if you know what the heck a macchiato is, Starbucks can be intimidating and it can definitely take some time to get the beverage in hand. But apparently, McDonalds has already been testing out the system in Kansas, running ads that claim you won't get a nasty look for mispronouncing the size of your beverage--ooooh, Starbucks. Burrrn!

But even if McDonalds' sales fall shorter than expected, there's no way they're gonna tank as badly as Starbucks has in the last year.

Blowing for the record

As New Year's Eve approaches and images of champagne wishes and caviar dreams--alright, maybe Miller Light wishes and potato chip dreams in some cases--dance in your head, please don't forget to be safe. Drinking and driving is bad.

Just ask Meagan Harper, the 30-year-old Oregon woman who has set the female record for highest blood alcohol content after police found her passed out in the parking lot of a pizza place.

Harper blew a 0.55, which is seven times the legal limit in Oregon. This level of intoxication, according to the Rutgers University Center of Alcohol Studies, would require a 100-pound man or woman to consume roughly 10 drinks in an hour or a 200-pound man to drink about six drinks each hour for four hours.

That's impressive; I have two light beers in an hour and I'm down for the count. What's even more impressive is how functional she looks in her mugshot.

Harper was arrested and taken to the hospital. Her bail was set at $50,000. Harper has three previous DUI charges, one while she was at the helm of a boat. Idiot.

The woman, who is 5'11 and 130 pounds, fell just short of breaking the all-time BAC record, held by Willard Ashley III. The Indiana man blew 0.69 in October 2003.

Would you like cream and sugar with your nasal spray?

Again, my apologies for the lack of posting lately. Now that I've gotten the major headache holiday out of the way, hopefully things will be getting back to normal.

But lately, I've been exhausted...and perhaps some higher power was trying to tell me something by leading me to this article from wired.com about a nasal spray that helps eliminate the effects of sleepiness. (And ironically enough, it's currently almost 2 a.m.)

A study published in this week's The Journal of Neuroscience showed that a nasal spray containing a naturally occurring brain hormone called orexin A reversed the effects of sleep deprivation in a group of monkeys and allowed them to perform like well-rested monkeys on cognitive tests.

The hormone could potentially help the 70 percent of Americans who do not get the recommended eight hours of sleep a night, myself included.

The authors of the study claim that orexin A reduces the effects of sleep deprivation but does not cause edginess and is apparently non-addictive.

Still, the spray would initially be used to treat people suffering from narcolepsy--a condition that the study states is caused by lack of orexin A in the brain. For the spray to become available to the average joe could take almost a decade, depending on the Food and Drug Administration's approval process.

But then it'll totally be so long coffee, hello nasal spray!!