Back of the hand-wich

You know, sometimes my boyfriend jokingly tells me he's gonna give me a knuckle sandwich, but I think this guy took it a bit too far...

From the AP - A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday.

Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.

The victim nearly lost control of the car because she couldn't see the road and the man then allegedly ripped off the rear-view mirror and used it to shatter the windshield.

The man was freed on $7,500 bail.

Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.

...Perhaps it was a CLUB sandwich? Haaaaa. (I get this obnoxiously corny sense of humor from my father, by the way.)

I love stories like this. Every so often, a precious gem of a police blotter item comes across our desks in the newsroom. Last week, I wrote about a guy who crashed his truck into a gas station, knocking out two gas pumps, the attendant's booth and a Snapple machine...and then walked home, leaving the car there, like police weren't going to trace it back to him. (And yes, he was drunk.) But man, assault and battery by sandwich - that's delectable.

RIP Gus

Sad news, everyone: Gus, the World's Ugliest Dog, is dead.

The 9-year-old pooch, who won the ugly crown in June, lost his battle with cancer today.

Gus, a hairless Chinese crested from Florida, had one eye and three legs. His adopted family reportedly rescued him after learning he was being kept in a crate inside someone's garage. He had one leg amputated because of a skin tumor and lost an eye in a cat fight.

Owner Jeanenne Teed said Gus passed away in her arms this morning. The skin cancer he had been battling had wrapped around his spine and the dog had lost half of his body weight. He was in a lot of pain and needed to be put down, she said.

As World's Ugliest dog, Gus had been featured on the Today show, Fox & Friends, Rachel Ray. He even had his own Animal Planet special.

Chinese crested dogs have a reputation for being pretty ugly, but poor Gus...he was hideous.

Guess he's not 'shooting blanks'...?

A Florida man reportedly shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend shot down having sex with him.

Police said Jonathon Guabello, 29, and his live-in girlfriend of five months, Ryan Mackinnon, came home from a bar around midnight Wednesday, and when Guabello started to get frisky, Mackinnon said she just wanted to go to sleep.

The 24-year-old girlfriend went into the spare bedroom, but several minutes later heard two gunshots. Guabello --who was under the influence of alcohol and Xanax-- came into the room with the gun and told her if she called for help or tried to put him in rehab, he'd kill her. He then stumbled into the kitchen, walked into the oven and knocked himself unconscious.

After being treated for the gunshot wounds at a local hospital, Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

So, men, what lesson did we learn today? When you're drunk, randy and wielding a gun, your girlfriend probably won't want to have sex with you.

Cinco in Cinci

Es de verdad - Ocho Cinco is now official on the field.

The Bengals WR formerly known as Chad Johnson is now officially being recognized by the NFL as Chad Ocho Cinco.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Johnson is the second most popular surname (Smith is the first, FYI). And oddly enough, there is not one other person in the world with the Ocho Cinco moniker.

[UPDATE] CNBC's Darren Rovell is reporting that Chad is being forced to buy out the stock of the 100,000 remaining "C. Johnson" jerseys before making the switch to "Ocho Cinco" because the switch took place so close to the beginning of the season. If Reebok asked Ocho Cinco to pay for the cost of making the unsold jerseys, the total could reach upwards of $4 million.

The name -- Spanish for "eight five" -- refers to the star's jersey number 85. He directed media to refer to him as Ocho Cinco two years ago in a very memorable lockerroom interview. Gotta love the Chad...

Getting 'saucy' at Subway

You usually learn in kindergarten what is and is not grounds to call 911, but one Florida man apparently didn't learn that lesson.

Police said that Reginald Peterson called 911 multiple times when he felt his sandwich order was not being properly prepared at his local Subway restaurant.

The first time he called was because employees did not put sauce on his spicy Italian sub. The second call to 911 was because police had not arrived in what the 42-year-old believed was appropriate response time.
Workers at the restaurant said Peterson became belligerent and yelled while they were fixing his order. They reportedly locked him out of the store when he left to call police the second time.

[UPDATE] See below for real audio from calls! I seriously cannot believe they entertained this for this long...



Officers responding to the scene said they tried to calm Peterson down and explain the proper use of 911. When he did not cooperate, he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.

'When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza line...'

A Florida pizza parlor has set the Guinness World Record for longest line of pizzas. Delicioso!

Scott Van Duzer and employees of Big Apple Pizza and Pasta created a chain of pizza on Saturday that reached just over 722 feet. A judge believes it broke a previous Guinness World Record of just over 611 feet that was set in Italy in 2006.

The record-breaking event was also for a good cause: The parlor raised money for a St. Lucie County firefighter and his family who had their home destroyed by fire earlier in the week.

I still question where people come up with this stuff? Longest line of pizza? Like, what? But I love how Florida steals this record away from Italy. That's just messed up.

Teams of people turned out for the pizza line, which I'm sure had nothing to do with the fact that it was free pizza all around once the length had been tallied.

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Who wants to break stuff?

I can't even bring myself to make a bacon joke...

A family wanting to keep their pet pig warm last night lost the animal and nearly destroyed their home.

The Wilgis family, of St. Augustine, Fla., worried their Vietnamese potbellied pig, Conan, would freeze staying outside during the coldest night of the season yet, so they provided him with a space heater outside in their pool house. Unfortunately, Conan knocked over the lamp and set his domain on fire, as well as the porch of the family's home.

Everyone inside the home was safe, but sadly the 100-pound pig did not make it and died of smoke inhalation.