Don't want these panties in a bunch...

I've written a few entries on crazy eBay auctions, but this one is by far the most wacko: The King of Pop's panties will be up for sale Thursday, according to Page Six.

And they're not just any panties--they're the same unwashed, tighty-whities used as evidence in Wacko Jacko's child molestation case. That's not disgusting at all...

The size-28 Calvin Klein white briefs will be sold at a reserve price of $1 million. The unwashed undies were confiscated in 2003 to obtain a DNA sample, and are part of Jackson artifacts offered by New Jersey businessman Henry Vacarro, who obtained them in a bankruptcy case. The panties come sealed in an evidence bag and wrapped with police tape.

Also being sold are Jackson's handwritten note explaining why he wanted an annulment from Lisa Marie Presley and a used half-ounce tube of skin-bleaching cream--why? I don't know. But you should probably spend your life savings on it.

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Cinco in Cinci

Es de verdad - Ocho Cinco is now official on the field.

The Bengals WR formerly known as Chad Johnson is now officially being recognized by the NFL as Chad Ocho Cinco.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Johnson is the second most popular surname (Smith is the first, FYI). And oddly enough, there is not one other person in the world with the Ocho Cinco moniker.

[UPDATE] CNBC's Darren Rovell is reporting that Chad is being forced to buy out the stock of the 100,000 remaining "C. Johnson" jerseys before making the switch to "Ocho Cinco" because the switch took place so close to the beginning of the season. If Reebok asked Ocho Cinco to pay for the cost of making the unsold jerseys, the total could reach upwards of $4 million.

The name -- Spanish for "eight five" -- refers to the star's jersey number 85. He directed media to refer to him as Ocho Cinco two years ago in a very memorable lockerroom interview. Gotta love the Chad...

Baby for sale!

A German baby placed up for auction on eBay for the price of bubble gum this week has been taken into custody, police said.

The 7-month-old baby boy was advertised on the site for one euro--or $1.57--with the description: "Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller."

The baby has been placed in custody of child services, though the 23-year-old mother claims that it was all a joke. Neither she nor her 24-year-old husband have been identified.

The ad was up for about 2.5 hours, but no bids were made. Several people who saw the posting called police.

Second update: MySpace Murder

Updating an update of a previous item:

The Missouri mother responsible for 13-year-old Megan Meier's suicide and the phony MySpace account that pushed the young girl to do so has been indicted.

Lori Drew, of suburban St. Louis, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles on one count of conspiracy and three counts of unauthorized access of protected computers to obtain information to inflict emotional distress, AP said.

Thank God for justice.

To read more about the case, click here, but the long and short of it is that the mother of one of Megan's former friends created a MySpace account and posed as a teenage boy named "Josh" to see what Megan was saying about her daughter.

The mother, her daughter and another adult had access to the account and corresponded with Megan as Josh for more than a month, until they began harassing Megan, saying that Josh didn't want to be her friend anymore and that the world would be a better place without her.

Megan, who suffered from ADD and depression, hanged herself as a result of the messages.

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Update: MySpace Murder