Change is on

Hey all -- Still working out the bug in my computer, but I couldn't let today pass by without a quick mention:

Today is a huge milestone in American history as our 44th president -- and first Black president -- took office, promising hope and a change in the God awful state of our nation.

Right now, President Obama (wow, weird to say) and the First Lady are on the party scene, hitting up presidential ball after presidential ball. More power to them.

Raise your hand if you're proud to be an American today!

Person of the Year '08

Yup, shockingly enough, Barack Obama has been named Time's Person of the Year for 2008. (I'm sure Sarah Palin was hoping she'd at least win something this year...but praise the Lord she didn't.)

It's no surprise our soon-to-be first Black president is gracing the cover of the annual issue, but I'd still suggest you take a gander. The article is very well-written, and right off-the-bat puts to rest your, 'Gee, Obama as Person of Year - that's original' complaints.

It's unlikely that you were surprised to see Obama's face on the cover. He has come to dominate the public sphere so completely that it beggars belief to recall that half the people in America had never heard of him two years ago — that even his campaign manager, at the outset, wasn't sure Obama had what it would take to win the election. He hit the American scene like a thunderclap, upended our politics, shattered decades of conventional wisdom and overcame centuries of the social pecking order. Understandably, you may be thinking Obama is on the cover for these big and flashy reasons: for ushering the country across a momentous symbolic line, for infusing our democracy with a new intensity of participation, for showing the world and ourselves that our most cherished myth — the one about boundless opportunity — has plenty of juice left in it.

Read on: 2008 Person of the Year. (Don't you love that they no longer call it 'Man of the Year'?)

BOO!

Happy Halloween from The Jerc Store!

So, what are we gonna see more of this year: Political figures (most notably Sarah Palin) or Heath Ledger's The Joker? Maybe it'll be the rebirth of Britney Spears. What am I being? That's a secret ;)

I haven't been this excited about Halloween in awhile, so bring on the trick-or-treaters and crappy candy corn - it's Halloween weekend!

[and Happy Birthday, Rachie!]

Baby mama ain't Obama!

I promised to steer clear of the politics during election season, but this isn't too partisan and it's too good not to share...

Do you wish your mom were running for president of the United States? Better yet, do you long for siblings named Trig or Bristol??

Well, now you can find out what your name would be if you were the offspring of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin by clicking here, the Sarah Palin Baby Namer!

My name would be Rifle Panzer Palin - I think that's got a nice ring to it. Try it out - let me know what you get!

Grand Old convention

As predicted last week, I am already sick of politics and we're still two months away from the election. But, I did briefly wrote about the Dem National Convention last week, so it's only fair the Republicans get a mention on my very powerful political blog.

The news this week is all about McCain selecting Sarah Palin, the 44-year-old governor of Alaska, as his running mate. This woman has been the presumptive vice presidential candidate for approximately four days and we've learned all about her children, her grandchildren (just kidding), her abilities with a power rifle and her love of mooseburgers.

A Google search for 'sarah palin' turns up more than 4 million hits and about 48,500 news hits. I bet last week it would have been about 9,000.

The GOP convention was basically postponed due to Hurricane Gustav's devastation this weekend, but it's well underway now in St. Paul, Minn. Click here for a list of speakers and schedules.

And now I'm pretty sure I'm done talking about this election until November, but I'm certainly not opposed to reading people's thoughts on Sarah Palin...and the fact that someone whose only experience with foreign policy is shipping her son off to Iraq could potentially be the president of our country if McCain croaks in office. Frightening thought. But hey, she's hot, right?

Dems fightin' words

Now that the Olympics are finito, it's time to look forward to the next national event that will be overblown by the media: the November presidential election.

With only about two months left until we elect a new Commander-in-Chief, be prepared for some severe political overload wherever you look--except this Web site!

No one cares what I have to say about the war, oil, health care; if you really did, then I'd be running for president, not writing for a weekly newspaper that no one reads. So if there's something significant going on, then I'll mention it... otherwise, I'm sure you won't be too hard-pressed to find another site to read all about John Hickenlooper or if Cindy McCain's choice of powersuits rules supreme over Michelle Obama's.

That being said, the now-old news is that Barack announced his running mate this weekend: Senator Joe Biden. In more current news, the Democratic National Convention began today out in Denver. Headliners include the Bill and Hill (Wednesday and Tuesday, respectively), Michelle Obama (Monday) and of course, Barack himself (Thursday). For a full list of headliners and a day-to-day schedule, click here.

RIPs

Because it's been so long since my last post, I decided to combine the moderately recent passing of a talented journalist with the very recent passing of a memorable comedian.

While I was on vacation (June 13), longtime "Meet the Press" moderator, Washington bureau chief and one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people--Tim Russert--died of a heart attack. [For more on Russert's death, click here]

As an American, it's hard to ignore a untimely death of a public figure...but as a fellow journalist (albeit on a much more amateur level), it's sad to see one of the good ones go. Journalists aren't always known as the cuddliest of professionals, but Russert will forever be lauded as an extremely talented and respectable man whose influence on this country and this profession will not soon be forgotten.

More recently, comedian/actor/"disturber of peace" George Carlin died Sunday of heart failure. And for your sake, I hope you've seen at least one of his HBO comedy specials, listened to one of his many comedy albums or at least watched "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

The Associated Press distributed a comprehensive obituary this week, so rather than me try to reiterate Carlin's career...

LOS ANGELES (AP) — George Carlin, the dean of counterculture comedians whose biting insights on life and language were immortalized in his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine, died Sunday. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica complaining of chest pain and died of heart failure later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

Carlin constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words" — all of which are taboo on broadcast TV to this day.

When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

The words were later played on a New York radio station, resulting in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.

Despite his reputation as unapologetically irreverent, Carlin was a television staple through the decades, serving as host of the "Saturday Night Live" debut in 1975 — noting on his Web site that he was "loaded on cocaine all week long" — and appearing some 130 times on "The Tonight Show."

He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a few TV shows and appeared in several movies, from his own comedy specials to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" in 1989 — a testament to his range from cerebral satire and cultural commentary to downright silliness (sometimes hitting all points in one stroke).

Carlin won four Grammy Awards for best spoken comedy album and was nominated for five Emmys. Last week, it was announced that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which will be presented Nov. 10 in Washington and broadcast on PBS.

A whole lot of 'f*cking'

I cannot get this song out of my head now. I thought that I had posted the original "I'm f*cking Matt Damon" song on here a few weeks ago, but apparently that took a back seat to baseball.

Regardless, watch that clip first--it's hilarious. And if you don't watch that first, this next clip will mean nothing. [click here to watch the original...and click here to watch the Ben Affleck response]

And so now, if you're all caught up on your Matt Damon-f'ing, check out the following clip, entitled, "I'm f*cking Obama." I don't like to talk politics on this blog, but this has nothing to do with campaigning. It's just fantastic.

Who called the caucus?

Iowa caucus results as of 1 a.m. Friday:

RESULTS: Obama 37.53; Edwards 29.88; Clinton 29.41 Huckabee 34; Romney 25; Thompson 14; McCain 13%; Paul 10%

So it appears Obama and Huckabee are the projected winers.

Iowa delivered fatal blows to the campaigns of Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut and Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware, and both have bailed out of the race, according to CNN.

In a nutshell, the Iowa caucus is somewhat of a primary, except it doesn't involve ballots or secret voting; instead, people visit libraries, churches, farm houses and other locations throughout the state, and will walk to the corner or space by the wall designated for the candidate of their choice.

New Hampshire will hold the nation's first primary election on Tuesday.

Benazir Bhutto killed in Pakistan

I know I tend to steer clear of weighty and worldly political stories, not because they're unimportant, but because there are enough blogs out there hashing and rehashing conservative or liberal ideologies. I'm pulling the blatant truth card here: The chances of someone caring what I have to say about politics are right on par with a snowball's in hell.

That being said, I can't go without mentioning what happened in Pakistan today, because it is undoubtedly one of the biggest news stories of the year.

Former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, died today of gunshot wounds following a rally. An attacker ran toward her vehicle, fired shots into her neck and shoulder and detonated an explosive device that also killed 22 other people.

Officials have reported that the attack may be attributed to al Qaeda.

A member of the Pakistan Peoples Party, Bhutto became the first woman to lead a modern Muslim country in 1988. She was an advocate of democracy in Pakistan and earned her fair share of militant enemies [click here for a comprehensive timeline of Bhutto's life].

After gaining power and being removed twice for clashing with military, Bhutto was charged for corruption and banned from politics. She went into self-exile, and after President Pervez Musharraf signed an amnesty quashing any corruption charges against her, the former prime minister returned to Pakistan in October.

Unfortunately, she was immediately met with an attempt on her life at a rally in Karachi in which 50 of her security guards who had formed a human chain around her truck were killed in what was later determined to be a suicide bomb attack.

Bhutto was well aware of the danger to her life but was committed to fighting Islamic militants.

"We can take care of this, I can take care of this, you can take care of this." --Benazir Bhutto.

From CNN/Time.com: Pakistan is the only Islamic state with a nuclear arsenal. And Washington has private concerns about the security of those weapons. Those worries will intensify in the wake of Benazir Bhutto's assassination. Peter Galbraith, of the Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation says one thing is certain: It is "not a good idea to have 70 nuclear weapons in the hands of a country that is falling apart."

Shake it like a snow globe

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have launched a set of animated holiday e-cards to promote mockery and malevolence of animal-abusing celebrities, featuring--who else? Michael Vick.

The cards depict each celeb in his or her own snow globe world, participating in some activity that PETA deems cruel, i.e. wearing fur, hunting, skinning chickens. The user can select which card they'd like to view and click and shake the snow globe.


Vick's features the football star clad in an orange jumpsuit and football helmet, pacing the grounds of prison while security guards and growling dogs patrol.

Other celebs include Dick Cheney, Colonel Sanders and Kate Moss.

My personal fav is Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, which Peta has lovingly named "Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollson." The twins scream when they're flying through the air and return to a dancing position once you've stopped shaking, but then randomly some old man stumbles by and throws up on them, and they say, "How rude!" Any old school Full House reference gets an A in my book, whether the card is lame or not.

Time-honored tradition

Sorry, folks: This year we (or "you") did not even place in the running for Time's Person of the Year. Landing the top spot this year is Russian President Vladimir Putin.


Not completely sure about this, but the article about him is fantastic, a very deep look into his every move and his motivations. Personally, my favorite part is when he reveals to Adi Ignatius that his favorite Beatles song is Yesterday. Or that he's never sent an e-mail in his life.

The runner-up was Al Gore--no surprise there.

And also not surprisingly, author J.K. Rowling placed second runner-up--I mean, she was 2007's Most Fascinating Person, according to Barbara Walters.

Don't forget to check out the list of "People Who Mattered" in 2007, which includes a lot of question marks and some shockers, like Miley Cyrus and Radiohead?? And my favorite is that silly snowmwan who asked the global warming question during the presidential debate--even he made the list!

Politics are a girl's best friend

The University of Nevada Las Vegas student who asked Hillary Clinton is she preferred diamonds or pearls during Thursday's CNN/Democratic debate is pissed about the amount of smack she's receiving.

Maria Luisa said she has received a number of e-mails critizing her question and was approached by another UNLV student who said, "You gave our school a bad reputation." She countered on her MySpace page (which has been set to private), saying she had instead prepared a question about the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository, but someone from CNN had "forced" her to ask her "frilly" question to close the debate. [watch her ask about Hillary's jewelry preference]

Sam Feist, the executive producer of the debate, said that the student was asked to choose another question because the candidates had already spent at least 10 minutes discussing Yucca Mountain. Luisa chose the diamond/pearl question from her list of pre-approved questions, on which CNN told her to write a lighter question for such instances.

Still, a CNN spokesperson said the girl was not "forced" to ask this question. It was her question and she voluntarily agreed to ask it. CNN selected the question and asked her toward the end of the debate if she wanted to ask it.

This question, among other things, have lead Clinton's opponents to accuse CNN of going easy on the fruntrunner, though she tried to convince voters on Friday that she had put a bad two-week stretch behind her and emerged strong from her debate performance in Las Vegas.

President of poultry

While Stephen Colbert's U.S. presidential hopes have been squelched, KFC would like to extend an invitation to Colbert to preside over the fried chicken cartel for a day.

KFC sent a letter to the Comedy Central host today, detailing possible presidential duties. Colbert would first be sworn in by placing his hand on the book containing the Colonel's secret recipe, according to KFC President Gregg Dedrick.

"Your first official duty would be to help us sort the "left wings" from the "right wings. We'd also like you to hold a 'State of the Chicken' address with some of America's most dedicated restaurant managers. One of the best things about being KFC president for a day is that you don't have to choose sides. We have plenty of mashed potatoes and gravy, cole slaw and macaroni and cheese to go around, and KFC will allow you the liberty of enjoying all of our sides!"

Colbert hasn't returned word yet on whether or not he'll reign over the KFC White House, but it's apparent that KFC will stop at nothing to whore itself out with celebrities--do we remember the American Idol Sanjaya/bowl-cut stunt?

VOTE OR probably not DIE, but vote!

Today is election day! Get our there and vote! And while the general elections in your town may not be hotly contested, at least you'll get some practice for next year's big presidential election. To find the polling place closest to you, try a google search for "polling places in" [enter your state name here], or search for your state's Division of Elections. Happy voting!

Hey look, gullible is written on the ballot!

Maybe I'm just extra naive, but is Stephen Colbert really running for president? From this article on CNN, I don't think they're even sure. And if he is running...will he win? Will America be pop culture-driven enough to elect a Comedy Central anchor who makes them laugh about all things political? I don't know about this...