It's the most wonderful time of the year

Happy Opening Day!

While we've had Opening Morning last week with the Japan games and Opening Night last night with the Nationals winning in walk-off fashion for their first game in their new stadium, today is officially the start of the MLB 2008 season. Amen.

...and Go Yankees.

Test your awareness

Try this awareness test. It's a lot more difficult than you might think...

Mmm, plastic and microwaved...

I found this mildly entertaining article on The Consumerist, which linked to a German site depicting the art of food photography, i.e. making hideously disgusting food look delectable. It's worth a few quick peeks.

Check out these in particular: Seehecht Fllet, Streit, Hacksteaks.


And as a supplement, check out this article on the secrets behind the photography.

Back in 'The Hills'

Clear your Monday nights for the next eight weeks: 'The Hills' are back, baby!

In case you haven't checked out the extended trailer for the continuation of Season Three, check it.



The latest gossip on The Hills wire?
Lauren is prego. Completely untrue: It's her publicist.
Nude pictures of Audrina on the Internet, This is completely true: She posed for them, as they were "meant to be art," but they were so obviously meant to be sexalicious. Click the link for the pics, but warning--not safe for work!

"Regarding the photos that someone released to the public today without my consent, I wanted you to know they were taken when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I intended them to be artistic and not in any way provocative. The photos were for personal and portfolio use only and not meant to be seen by the public. I was naive, overly trusting of people and inexperienced. I thought that to be a model you had to be comfortable in front of the camera. I’m not ashamed of these photos, but I dont want my young fans to think they have to do what I did. I hope people can learn from my inexperience. It’s been almost five years since I posed for that shoot, and during that time I have learned many lessons about this business."--Audrina Patridge

And now that the season will be in full-swing tonight, plenty more juicy Hills stories to come. Enjoy the premiere!

Unsexy and unamused

Sarah Jessica Parker is upset with Maxim magazine's October claim that she is the most unsexy woman in show biz and spoke out against the men's mag in an interview with Grazia magazine.

Parker said the poll was "brutal," "filled with rage and anger" and questions husband Matthew Broderick's judgment, too.

"Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not." - Sarah Jessica Parker

Now, I don't agree with this list at all because I think she's gorgeous, and normally I'd be like, 'You go girl!' But Jessica, dear, this poll was released like, four months ago. Even Britney was conscious enough to speak out about it back in November.

Paying for your free iced coffee

So I'm sorry about getting your iced coffee-loving hopes up on Friday with promises of Free Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee Day because the company was not actually giving away free iced coffee.

When I posted that link on Wednesday, the official site was advertising the freebie and telling you to invite your friends by entertain their e-mail addresses. Not really sure what happened between Wednesday night and Friday morning, but the doughnut maker had this to say on its press room page.

My apologies again, folks. Perhaps we'll get another shot at it sometime this summer?


Thanks to 'my fav redhead' for bringing that to my attention, and extra apologies to Dave for placating me and taking me to D&D, even though I'm an idiot.

Forgiveness, please

To any loyal readers--

My deepest apologies for not providing you with inane news stories, reality television updates and the like for the last, what, week? My job is generally taxing, but in an effort to have off this Friday to imbibe with friends and relish in NCAA basketball (which I really don't even care about) at the most dominant sports bar in Philadelphia (which I certainly do care about), I have been working insane hours and sitting at droning meetings deep into the night.

Wow, that sentence was really long.

Anyway, it could be another few days before I'm able to form some semblance of an entertaining post, but I will leave you with two reminders to close out the week:

Tomorrow...I guess now it's really today...well, whatever--MARCH 20th is the first day of spring, which means it is Free Rita's Water Ice Day! In honor of the seasonal change, Rita's is rolling out a new cream ice flavor: Birthday Cake. Not sure how I feel about it, but at least I won't be wasting any money to try it.


And secondly, Friday is Free Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin Donuts--and no, that is not the imbibing I was referring to above (this is), but I will certainly take part in this free festivity as well. God, that picture is gorgeous.

Enjoy the next however many days, and please come back. I promise I'll stop sucking in a few days.

Literally stuck on the john

I cannot even do this story the justice it deserves. Please, please, please read below. This is potentially one of the most ridiculous stories I've ever heard.

Authorities in the US are trying to establish what caused a 35-year-old woman to sit on her boyfriend's toilet for so long her skin grafted to the seat.

Kansas woman Pam Babcock had to be prised off the toilet at her boyfriend Kory McFarren's house after allegedly sitting there for two years.

She was only moved when McFarren called 911 on February 27 and told police there was "something wrong" with his girlfriend.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple told AP there was no indication Babcock had been restrained against her will.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said.

McFarren told police he had asked Babcock every day to please come out of the bathroom, but her reply was always: "Maybe tomorrow."

He also said he brought her food and water every day. Police found Babcock clothed and sitting on the toilet with her pants lowered to mid-thigh level.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Ontario's City News website is reporting that McFarren may face charges in relation to the case. Questions are being asked about why the 36-year-old antique store worker didn't raise the alarm earlier.

But he insists the situation developed slowly and he had come to believe his girlfriend's behaviour wasn't strange.

"It just kind of happened one day; she went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay - like it was a safe place for her," he said.

McFarren insisted Babcock hadn't spent the entire two years on the toilet, claiming that until late January she was taking baths and changing her clothes regularly.

He says he panicked and finally called for help two weeks ago when Babcock appeared groggy after spending as much as a month sitting on the toilet. McFarren says Babcock developed a phobia about leaving the bathroom which stemmed from beatings she received in her childhood.

But despite his professions that he was caring for his partner of 16 years, authorities have indicated they are considering charging him with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

Babcock's legs atrophied (suffered muscle wastage) as a result of her sitting on the toilet for so long and it's not known if she will ever walk again.

"Maybe tomorrow"???? I really don't know what to say to this. There are so many questions I need answered here. It's so bizarre that suddenly toilet humor (in the literal or figurative sense) doesn't even seem justified.

Thanks, Matt!

Fierce to the trannieth degree

Top Chef 4 premiered tonight--PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Buuuut, you couldn't have expected Project Runway to go out like a lamb. Check out this fierce Project Runway spoof from SNL this weekend. SNL sucks lately, but Amy Poehler's impression of Christian is fantastic--she looks just like him!



And Christian took it all in stride. In an e-mail to People magazine, he wrote:

“I thought it was SO FUNNY. Amy [Poehler] looked exactly like me which is kinda scary, but fabulous.”--Christian Siriano.

Love it!

Teenage STDs--WTF?

A CDC study this week found that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. And when we say 'teenage,' we mean 14-19.

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here when I say that I find this extremely disturbing. You're like, in 8th grade and you have an STD? I don't even think knew what sex was at that age. And I'm pretty sure I didn't learn about STDs until senior year of high school.

About half of the girls studied acknowledged having sex. And one in four has an STD? That's like, a lot. And they were only testing for four STDs...

HPV, which is the leading cause in cervical cancer, was found to be most prevalent among the girls studied. And despite a recent outpouring of HPV prevention and awareness campaigns, parents need to wise up to the times and teach their kids what's up. Hopefully these numbers will serve as a wake-up call because kids are having sex way too young and being completely irresponsible.

...and let me tell you, I didn't even attempt to find a good picture to illustrate this point. I had enough problems studying my health textbook senior year.


Thanks, Dave.

Experience the 'O'

In honor of my two friends' inquiring minds, please visit this site--it helps you understand what the opposite sex experiences during a 'ride on the ole bone roller coaster.'

Have fun ;)

Need a napkin?

I know some people will think this is incredibly stupid...and it is, but I love it.

Watch and enjoy!...maybe, heh.

And God said, 'Let there be solar panels!'

The Vatican is getting hip to the times, yo.

The city is going green namely by adding photovoltaic cells on buildings to produce electricity. Apparently, it's been a huge issue for Pope Benedict, who has said that issues such as climate change have become gravely important for the entire human race.

And the Vatican's energy resources aren't the only thing getting a face life: Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti spoke this week about his thoughts on a number of new-age sins, which include causing environmental blight, drug trafficking and messing around with genetics.

"(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control."--Gianfranco Girotti

I guess Cake was wrong--Sheep won't go to heaven. Guess it's looking better for the goats.

Ear today, hair tomorrow

So, here's another interesting Guinness Book of World Records feat...and a little 'hair raising,' if you will...




The tufts coming out of the man's ears were more than 5 inches long when he set the record five years ago. Now, the hair has grown to nearly 12 inches. Getting ready for the day, the man shampoos and combs the hair, and plans to continue growing it...until the point he can braid it.

So...don't die?

*This was brought to my attention by a co-worker, and as journalists, we are extremely familiar with crazy lawmakers, so thanks to Matt for pointing out this insanity.

The cemetery in Sarpourenx, a village in France, is full...so the mayor has done what any respectable lawmaker would do: threaten his 260 constituents via municipal ordinance saying that if they die, they will be severely punished.

Um...what?

"...All persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish. Offenders will be severely punished."

The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

He makes it sound like dying is comparable to speeding or littering. 'People of Sarpourenx, I know you were planning on dying and all, but don't. It may be punishable by death.' Duhhh.

Save the Swayze

Sadly, People Magazine reported yesterday that sexy, sexy Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a cancer that has very low survival rates.

Doctors are optimistic about Swayze's condition, and said that he is continuing with his normal schedule and working on upcoming projects.

And as much as "Ghost" makes me cry every time, and as much as I love "Dirty Dancing," the following is still Patrick Swayze's best work to date.

Chippendale Swayze vs. Farley

"Hello--did you have a doubt? What up."

WARNING: SPOILERS
Again, I have shamefully slacked on my PR updates, but thankfully I caught tonight's season finale and all I can say is--FIERCE.

After going head-to-head with Chris March last week in a sudden death match up, Rami advanced to Fashion Week with Jillian and Christian. The designers had their shining moment to debut their line in Bryant Park in front of guest judge Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. Daaaamn!

I also enjoyed the smattering of Bravo celebs sporadically placed throughout, like Padma, and love-of-my-life Jack with his new love interest Top Chef Dale, last season PR winner Jeffrey Sebelia and the rest of the eliminated designers from this season.

Jillian's line was--as always--wearable, but her complete lack of excitement really turned me off. Her clothes were derived from the painting she chose for the last challenge and appeared to be some sort of horse jockey meets knits with a few random shiny things thrown in. Hats, too. Lots of hats. Overall, it was a pretty line, but like the judges said, also disjointed.

Rami's line was--not surprisingly--impressive; I actually liked it a lot more than I thought I would. And there were lots of headbands. What's with the headwear obsession? Rami's designs were much more cohesive than Jillian's, and the evening gowns were really well made. My fav was the basket woven dress--so pretty.

And then there was Christian who delivered ferocity and drama, drama, drama. Lots of frill and puffs. I was a little put off by the first five looks or so being all black (the judges were too), but I appreciated the transition into colors, and though I'd never wear most of the designs, they were really exciting and fun to look at. And how spectacular was it to finally see Christian show off his runway walking skills as he struck a 'ferosha' pose at the end.

The judges shared some of my sentiments, but no one was Christian's biggest fan tonight like Posh Spice herself. She was practically drooling, and in the end, Christian's clothes almost brought the cold one to tears! Gasp.

Jillian--you're out.
And you could just tell as soon as Heidi Klum said, "Christiaaan?" he was in. And I could not have been freaking happier. If Rami had won, it would have been a wash because he's already established, plus he and Jillian are both a snooze personality wise.

So a big congratulations to Christian for being the youngest--and fiercest--winner of Project Runway to date.

Sadly, this concludes this season's coverage of Project Runway, but let us all rejoice in the fact that Top 'mother freaking' Chef starts next week. CANNOT WAIT.

RELATED LINKS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 11

Making a good impression for the rest of us

Watch this reporter completely ruin one of the biggest moments in this couple's relationship. God, I love this profession.

American *really* Idle

A woman left her 3-year-old daughter to nearly drown in a bathtub during last week's "American Idol" results show, police said.

Sheila R. Brooks, a 25-year-old mother of four from Indianapolis, allegedly left two of her children in the tub when she went to do laundry. She stated to another daughter that she forgot that both her 2-year-old and 3-year-old were unattended in the tub as she watched "American Idol." She sent her 7-year-old daughter to check on the babies in the bath, and the child alerted the incredible responsible Ms. Brooks that her daughter Sirius (right) was submerged in water and unconscious.

The child was still in critical condition today.

It must have been one riveting episode of Idol. I haven't wasted more than three minutes of my life watching the newest season, so I can't even come up with something clever for this. But regardless, American Idol rarely shows more than three minutes of programming without a 10 minute interlude of Coke commercial, Chevy commercial, Coke commercial, terrible Fox programming commercial... you'd think somewhere along the line she would have snapped to and remembered she left her toddlers unattended in the tub.

And oh, to make matters even better, police found about an ounce of marijuana, five burnt marijuana cigarettes and a scale in the house. Intelligent.

Favre saying goodbye to Green Bay

That's right. Brett "Still One of the Best Ass's in Spandex" Favre has announced he is retiring from the NFL after breaking a number of records, including most career TD passes.

"I know I can still play, but it's like I told my wife, I'm just tired mentally. I'm just tired."--Brett Favre.

It's a shame that interception versus the Giants in OT will haunt him for the rest of his life, haaaa.

Brett retires with 5,377 career completions in 8,758 attempts for 61,655 yards, 442 touchdowns and 288 interceptions.

Is he definitely, 100% gone for good? I guess we'll see when the season gets closer. And if he is, thoughts about the Hall of Fame? If nothing else, people will forever cite the following play as Brett Favre's ability, even as he approached age 40. (Sorry the quality is poor.)

Even if you hate Heidi...

"The Hills" star Heidi Montag lost her stepbrother--an Iraqi and Afghanistan war veteran-- Thursday in a freak accident.

Eric O'Hara, 24, slipped off a roof attempting to remove snow at the Steamboat Grand Resort Hotel in Steamboat, Col. He survived 15 months of service, but died just one a month after he returned home.

"I just loved him more than anything. He was very much a brother to me.” - Heidi Montag, to PeopleMagazine.com

Even if you're a member of Team Lauren, this is really sad.


And at the risk of sounding insincere... On a lighter note, I caught a quick teaser for the next eight episodes of The Hills--which premieres March 24--and that led me to the video below: the ultra incredible-looking "Season Three Continues" trailer. If you have not yet seen it, please indulge. It's dripping with faux reality drama, but it looks sensational.



One final note, Lauren posted a bulletin on MySpace with pictures of her new puppy, Chloe. How cute!

Hit me with your best shot--liar awayyy

I guess when "I'm sick" is no longer a viable excuse for getting out of work, you've gotta come up with some more creative excuses.

And that's exactly what Daniel Kuch did--he creatively (and stupidly) asked his friend to shoot him in the arm to get out of work and avoid taking a drug test.

Kuch told police that he was involved in a drive-by shooting while jogging, but later 'fessed up. I know the question here should be 'why would you ever purposely get shot to get out work?' but I really just wanna know why he would admit to it after the fact. He coulda gotten away with it...

The friend has been arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. Kuch is expected to be charged with false reporting.

That's a-stupid

Alright, make fun of me all you want for liking "Shot at Love With Tequia Tequila," but I will never, ever, ever like the show's spin-off "That's Amore!" with Domenico. I have better reality television standards than that (if that's not an oxymoronic statement).

I caught about 10 minutes of this show. I saw girls shoving meatballs in their mouths and talking about their fake boobs. Something about one of them not shaving her nether regions and one girl revealing she had sex in a stadium restroom in her first conversation with Domenico. The offer to stay and be Domenico's "bambina" also kinda made me gag. What the hell is this? I thought he was an actor with a terrible accent on Shot at Love and now he's running around in that Italian flag Speedo and getting it on with some smutty blonds?

And why is there always an ambulance in a reality show montage of episodes to come!?

To top it all off, former Tila-obsessed cowboy, Ashley, is Domenico's sidekick on the show. The man is a teacher and he told a girl she "has a well head on her shoulders."

I'm serious. I'm not watching this show.

La la lala, la la lala, Elmo's gone

Meet the Elmo Knows Your Name Doll, or as I've dubbed him--the creepiest f'ing doll ever. Yes, more sinister than Chucky. More knowing than Talking Tina.

Upon purchase, the Elmo doll is programmed via computer to know your child's name and include it in his random expressions as they laugh and play all the live long day. Except for 2-year-old James Bowman, of Lithia, Fla., Elmo doesn't get excited when you tickle him, he makes death threats.

After James' mom replaced the batteries in Elmo, he started saying, "Kill James." I'm not kidding. Watch the news piece yourself.

James' mom, Melissa, was obviously upset, especially because her two-year-old started repeating the expression and freaking out because she took his favorite toy away.

Fisher-Price said it will issue the Bowmans a voucher for a replacement doll and examine James' model for the source of the problem and check whether other Elmos are experiencing the same malfunction.