Grandpa shooting the 'J

A 73-year-old Tennessee man scored two points in a college basketball game this week.

Ken Mink, a full-time student at Roane State Community College, scored two points Monday night in a 93-42 victory over King College's junior varsity. The shooting guard got in the game with about 16 minutes left in the second half and attempted one shot in three minutes. He came back into the game, was fouled and made two free throws.

The 6-foot-tall septuagenarian said it was the first time he shot a free throw in more than five decades. He played 52 years ago at Lees College in Jackson, Ky, but lost his spot on the team after someone soaped the coach's office and he was expelled during his freshman year. He still says he did not commit the prank.

Mink reportedly runs a 6.6-second 40-yard dash and has a 20-inch vertical. I'm pretty sure he'd beat me out for a spot on the team. That's sad.

The retiree wears number 54 on the team. Last year, after shooting baskets at a neighbor's house, he wrote to several area colleges, and Roane State coach Randy Nesbit agreed to give him a chance. Mink has practiced regularly with the team since school began in August.

“(Mink) gets up and down the floor and can get shots off in practice,” said teammate BJ Ware. “He can definitely still play for being that old.”

Happy Olympics!

Today is 8/8/08, which means it's time for the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.


Sorry, everyone. I'm not super into these games, minus the soccer. In fact, I don't think I've really cared about the Olympics since the 1996 U.S. gymnastics team (you remember Kerri Strug, right?).

But don't let me get you down. Enjoy your shirtless Michael Phelps, USA's "Redeem Team" of basketball, smog-covered Beijing and 3,600 hours of Olympic coverage.

[click here to view a complete schedule of events] Yay America!

Actually, I'm much more interested in the bestial alternative to the Olympics: Animal Planet's 2008 Puppy Games. It's the most incredible show I've ever seen. Click here for a quick preview!

Oh snap, Shaq can't rap

In the words of Best Week Ever: "In case you missed it..."

Here is the now-notorious Shaq freestyle rap dissing former teammate Kobe Bryant, presumably titled, "Tell me how my ass tastes." In the performance, Shaq mocks Kobe for his playoff disappointment and blames his rival for his ongoing divorce.

Is it me, or didn't Shaq retire from rapping after his song "Biological Didn't Bother" got more sympathy for being God awful than it did for being about his deadbeat dad? (And my entry's title clearly shows that even I am a better rapper than the Sun's center)

And now, I don't know if anyone told him this, but does he realize that he's asking another man how his ass tastes...like, over and over again...?

In any case, have yourself a laugh (or two minutes of cringing) by checking it out. Notorious B.I.G. would be so proud to have been mentioned in a Shaquille O'Neal rap.

"And boom goes the dynamite"

So the Women's NCAA Basketball Tournament just ended (CandACE beat out CandICE), and the Men's Tourney wrapped up last night in dramatic fashion, but bitter ole' me could care less because a.) I hate basketball, b.) I didn't go to one of these sports obsessed schools, and c.) I had UNC and UCLA in the Men's Finals and lost out on $300.

Anyway. In honor of this recent college sports craze, I present to you the most stunted and embarrassing college sports newscast in the history of the universe. Not only does this guy stumble over absolutely everything, but not one person in the studio comes to poor Brian Collins' rescue during his four minutes of awkward broadcasting. I bet he's super excited this hit YouTube.

I'd blame the guy on the teleprompter, but I don't even know if that would have made a difference. But, hey, Reggie Miller is lookin' good...or whoever that player actually was.

If you have a soul, you might not find this funny. Otherwise, enjoy!

Thanks, TJS!

Test your awareness

Try this awareness test. It's a lot more difficult than you might think...

Can't phase the tase

The please of college student Andrew Meyer during a Sen. John Kerry speech in September--"Don't tase me, bro!"--has landed atop a list of 2007's most memorable quotations.

Yet another end of the year list was released today, this one compiled by editor of the Yale Book of Quotations Fred R. Shapiro.

The University of Florida student's quote was ranked number one due to its Internet popularity and pop culture success.

Following close behind was my personal fav, Miss South Carolina Teen USA Caitlin Upton's response during the Miss Teen USA pageant to the question, "Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?" [click here to watch the video]

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us."--Caitlin Upton

The girl even got her own Wikipedia page for the mindless response!

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's October comment at Columbia University in New York came in third: "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." And everyone's favorite radio jock Don Imus' comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team landed him the fourth spot: "That's some nappy-headed hos there."