"Hello--did you have a doubt? What up."

WARNING: SPOILERS
Again, I have shamefully slacked on my PR updates, but thankfully I caught tonight's season finale and all I can say is--FIERCE.

After going head-to-head with Chris March last week in a sudden death match up, Rami advanced to Fashion Week with Jillian and Christian. The designers had their shining moment to debut their line in Bryant Park in front of guest judge Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. Daaaamn!

I also enjoyed the smattering of Bravo celebs sporadically placed throughout, like Padma, and love-of-my-life Jack with his new love interest Top Chef Dale, last season PR winner Jeffrey Sebelia and the rest of the eliminated designers from this season.

Jillian's line was--as always--wearable, but her complete lack of excitement really turned me off. Her clothes were derived from the painting she chose for the last challenge and appeared to be some sort of horse jockey meets knits with a few random shiny things thrown in. Hats, too. Lots of hats. Overall, it was a pretty line, but like the judges said, also disjointed.

Rami's line was--not surprisingly--impressive; I actually liked it a lot more than I thought I would. And there were lots of headbands. What's with the headwear obsession? Rami's designs were much more cohesive than Jillian's, and the evening gowns were really well made. My fav was the basket woven dress--so pretty.

And then there was Christian who delivered ferocity and drama, drama, drama. Lots of frill and puffs. I was a little put off by the first five looks or so being all black (the judges were too), but I appreciated the transition into colors, and though I'd never wear most of the designs, they were really exciting and fun to look at. And how spectacular was it to finally see Christian show off his runway walking skills as he struck a 'ferosha' pose at the end.

The judges shared some of my sentiments, but no one was Christian's biggest fan tonight like Posh Spice herself. She was practically drooling, and in the end, Christian's clothes almost brought the cold one to tears! Gasp.

Jillian--you're out.
And you could just tell as soon as Heidi Klum said, "Christiaaan?" he was in. And I could not have been freaking happier. If Rami had won, it would have been a wash because he's already established, plus he and Jillian are both a snooze personality wise.

So a big congratulations to Christian for being the youngest--and fiercest--winner of Project Runway to date.

Sadly, this concludes this season's coverage of Project Runway, but let us all rejoice in the fact that Top 'mother freaking' Chef starts next week. CANNOT WAIT.

RELATED LINKS
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Episode 11

"Mine's gonna be Ferosha Coutura"

WARNING: SPOILERS

Well, we had a week off since the shocking victory of Ricky and the downfall of Victorya, but this week, Project Runway was back with a vengeance.

Tim took the crew on another field trip to reveal the challenge, and at first, it seemed like it was going to be an S&M design challenge with all the moaning and slamming going on behind closed doors. Instead, the doors opened to reveal six feisty W.W.E. Divas, in mid-scripted fight.

They've got one day and $100 to spend on a flashy, spandexy spectacular look that applies to their Diva's persona in the ring, i.e. Sweet P's Diva, Candice, is the "Robe and Reveal," so she must create a robe for Candice to take off and reveal her body - rocket science, I know.

The best part of this episode was the "If I were a W.W.E. Diva, I would be..." conversation that sparked up in the workroom, which would be from where this entry's title originates. While Sweet P's persona would be Spread Eagle (and she'd crush people with her thighs," Chris comes up with the completely unoriginal Wonder Woman - uhh, that's been done before. Christian takes it to the next level--as always--saying he would be Ferosha Coutura and she would spray enemies in the eye with hairspray. Even if Christian doesn't win this season, they should give him his own reality show to document his ferosh-ness in every day situations. I'd watch.

And generally, it's acceptable for a woman to lose an arm wrestling match (sorry ladies, it is), but shame on Sweet P for losing to Christian. Yes he is (arguably) a man, but come on, girl...

The abridged version of the work room - big, scary, buff women being fitted. Sweet P's model wanted all the bells and whistles--we're talking Queen of Gaudy-ville here. And of course, Rami was super sour about the tackiness of the challenge, whaa whaa. Your name isn't Ricky, stop crying.

Chris and his model both discovered their love for leopard print and he sent her out in some sort of half-hoodie, animal-esque look (below, left) that the judges went ape for--this week's winner. Christian went with the 'Leather and Lace' look (below, center), Fleetwood Mac anyone? Chaa, just kidding. And Jillian's look also got some kudos (below, right), but I think it's mostly because her Diva was the hottest. Wait a sec...the entire show is made up of women and gay men, nevermiiind.

At the bottom of the barrel this week were Sweet P, Rami and Ricky. Sweet P was criticized for not giving her model a big enough robe (below, left), but I don't think I bigger robe would have helped that thing, like, really. Rami's design was so incredible hideous, and if I didn't dislike Ricky so much, I'd have wished for him to go home. Seriously. It's ghastly!

And then there was Ricky...

Maybe Ricky didn't get the memo that they were designing for W.W.E. Divas this week, because he sent some sort of tropical bathing suit down the runway, a design that we've so totally seen in like, last year's swimwear line. And with that, the judges FINALLY gave Ricky something to cry about.

10 down--five to go. Make it work!




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Episode 9

"Oh my God, I'm gonna die of barfness"

WARNING: SPOILERS
Some big lead changes on this week's Project Runway episode. Those at the top (ehem "Team Robot Monotone" according to David Dust ehem) landed in the bottom, and unfortunately, a certain someone won the challenge...

The remaining designers took a "field trip" to a docking site where they were introduced to this week's raw materials: over 500 pairs of Levi's jeans and white cotton. The challenge was to create an iconic denim look that embodied the spirit and creativity of the Levis brand.

Unfortunately for our "BIG man on campus," Chris March," the designers were given three minutes to sprint to the materials and gather as much as possible. Another running challenge?? It seems like they're just targeting the big guy.

Anyway. Back in the design room, the drama seemed to flare up here and there, between Chris and Christian bickering--"Give him a bottle and send him to bed"-- and Jillian crying about how she was pricking herself with the sewing machine and bleeding everywhere.

Ricky had his own little confessional moment being voiced over as the designers worked on their garments. In his blabbering, the conductor-hat-wearing designer lists all his accolades. Hey Ricky, we don't care what you did in whoever's lingerie show. We still liked Kit better than you...and Kevin...and Jack...

Coming down the runway, nearly everyone pulled off something decent looking. The judges seemed to like Rami, Christian, Sweet P and Ricky's looks, while former frontrunners Jillian and Victorya fell to the bottom with Chris.

Yes, that's right. The judges liked Ricky's look this week, which honestly, infuriates me. Just when you think, "Okay, maybe he'll go home this week. There's no way he can be so lucky and get all the way to Bryant Park," the SOB pulls off something that's actually good looking. The judges deem him the winner.

The best part - What does Ricky do when they call his work impeccable (which no one has used to describe his work since he's been on the show)? He cries. Yes, surprising as it may be, Ricky let loose a river of tears all over his winning denim dress. GO HOME!


And on the other end of things, Jillian (rightmost) and Victorya (my other least favorite people) were left standing on the runway after both designers dressed their models in boring and mismatched jean jackets. Victorya was sent home, mostly because Michael Koors thought her design looked like a "party skirt got glued onto a jean jacket."

Nine down--six to go. Make it work!



RELATED LINKS:
Episode 1
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Episode 5
Episode 6
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Episode 8

"If I was a diva, my name would be Ferosh"

WARNING: SPOILERS
Ohhhh tonight's Project Runway made me furious. But before we get to the good stuff, let's cover the logistics.

This week, the designers selected their models based on their avant garde hairstyles and asked to create an equally as avant garde look to match. Each designer was randomly paired off, and halfway through, Tim Gunn announced that the pairs would need to create a ready-to-wear look that embodied the essence of the first couture garment.

Jillian and Victorya ended up together, and yawn-o-rama. Two of my least favorite people this season and they end up with the awesome girl sporting a crazy Sanjaya-inspired mohawk.

Team Fierce, aka Chris and Christian, was totally my pick this week. Not only did Christian inspire the title of this entry, but he was flamboyantly strutting around the design room showing female models how to fiercely walk the catwalk.

My girl, Kit Pistol, and stupid Ricky were matched up. He is a fashion designer--shouldn't he know that that conductor's hat is horrendous?!

Of all the teams, though, Rami and Sweet P butted heads the most and Rami's stubborn and demanding side came out tonight.

Post-runway show, Team Fierce and Team Yawn were the judges' favorite. Chris and Christian created this giant - completely avant garde - brown, marshmallow, frilly, monster of a dress, followed by a really cute ready-to-wear look. Jillian and Victorya took the punk/equestrian look, which I personally thought looked better before the model took the trench coat off. Thank goodness the girls didn't take this one because I'm seriously sick of them winning challenges. And as a prize, Chris/tian's looks were featured in an Elle fashion show.

On the other end were Rami/Sweet P and Kit/Ricky. The judges were disappointed that Rami has done nothing but create draped garments and he threw Sweet P under the bus this week. Kit was criticized for her arguably sloppy Scarlett O'Hara look(below, left) and the hideous baby doll dress that Ricky made (below, right). Sucks that the very first time Kit is singled out, it's for a negative.

For some reason, Ricky was safe first, even though he made probably the ugliest thing I've seen all season (yes, even worse than Simone's look from the first episode). Then Sweet P was safe, and at that point, Kit had to be thinking, 'Well, $#%!,' because Rami is a shoe-in for Olympus Fashion Week. And sadly, another one of my favs was undeservedly sent home this week.

WHY IS RICKY STILL THERE?! (Yes, I'm going to bitch about this until they send him home. He's so terrible!)

Eight down--seven to go. Make it work!

RELATED LINKS:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7

"It's the Eryka Ba-don't"

WARNING: SPOILERS

I'm happy to report that the challenges have been getting better and better each week. Tonight's episode of Project Runway left the designers with 17-year-old New Jersey Catholic school girls as models. The garment: prom dresses!
Kinda makes you wish Elisa were still around, eh?

The challenge premise had the designers recounting their own prom experiences, which made for a few laughs. I'm not a Ricky fan, but I loved when the out-of-the-closet designer said, "When I had a girlfriend, I actually made her prom dress. That shoulda been a clue right there, right?"

The high school models remained relatively in the background, except for Christian's model, Maddey. Honestly, their relationship was like battle of the diva bitches, except I'm pretty sure that Christian could walk in high heels better than she can.

The girl wanted brown and gold and black and lace and sequins and any gaudy thing you could imagine. She also claimed to be an aspiring designer herself, so she snatched away the pencil and got to sketching herself. Yeah, Christian should have taken the helm a little bit more, but designers have been sent home in the past for not catering to the client.

There really hasn't been that much drama in the workroom this season, minus the episodes where designers worked together to produce a look. That's probably good for them, but it leaves viewers (or at least me) passively watching until the runway show.

What came down the runway was only moderately impressive, though if I were one of these girls, I'd be stoked no matter what my prom dress looked like, just as long as I got to have it made on the national television.

My personal fav was Chris March's (above, left) because the color was fabulous and he kept his costumeness in the closet on this one. Sweet P's was also gorgeous (above, center), and that landed her in the judges' good graces for a change. Victorya's electric blue and jeweled garment (above, right) put her on top and she was granted immunity for next week.

Unfortunately, the judges only liked Sweet P's and Victorya's dresses, and Kevin, Christian, Ricky and Rami all fell the bottom.

Rami had immunity from last week and was safe from elimination. Ricky, who has ceased to impress me at all this season, somehow escaped elimination even though his dress was as bland as can be.

Kudos the Christian for being a bitch and blaming his difficulty on his model, which was fine because that girl was annoying as hell. Thank God this challenge didn't get him sent home, but unfortunately, Kevin cannot say the same.
Kevin was criticized for the lack of hemming on the bottom of his dress (above), while also essentially making his model look like a cheap, old, Filipino prostitute. Sadly, his impressive designs in the past were completely ignored and he was sent home. Totally robbed.

When are they going to send Ricky home!!?! I can't stand his conductor's hat for another episode.

Seven down--eight to go. Make it work!

RELATED LINKS:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6

"It's a tranny mess up in here"

WARNING: SPOILERS

Tonight's episode of Project Runway was a sweet escape from the lackluster challenges this season has been cooking up: The remaining designers took an early morning trip to the Hershey's Chocolate store in New York City, and were asked to make a garment in one day from whatever they could get their hands on in the store.

Not surprisingly, the designers were thrilled at the start--running around like kids, well, in a candy store. But later on, most of them experienced a meltdown (anyone taking bets on how many confectionery references I can make in this post?).

In this episode, we learn that Kevin has some serious disdain for Christian and that Elisa was in a coma after a bad car accident. And don't worry, she's crazy, but I'm not gonna go there.

There was a lot of unwrapping in the design room, but most of the designers chickened out and only used the wrappers; Christian threw away an entire trashcan of Reese's cups. Jillian was the only one to take the big risk and create an edible garment. I'm not a fan of her personally, but she should have won this challenge for creating a corset out of Twizzlers.

Unfortunately for her, Rami was the winner with his loud, but fashionable, garment (below, left). The incredible tailoring was what won the judges over, versus Chris' Andy Warhol-like dress (below, center) and Jillian's courageous piece (below, right).

On the other end of the spectrum were Victorya, Elisa and Sweet Pea, who all seemed to send "sad" dresses down the runway in a challenge that was all about happiness and smiles, according to the judges.

Victorya had her model walking down the runway looking ridiculous with her hands open and out to the sides--what was that?? Sweet Pea's decision to scrap her initial design proved costly, especially because her first design didn't even seem that poor.

And there was Elisa...who sent the saddest dress of them all into the judges' claws. She said, "I wanted to make a beautiful, sexy, amazing dress, that felt like candy but didn't use candy." It was a brown mess, which Michael Kors said could have been sold at a flea market, and apparently the model was wearing a "silver swimming cap" on her arm. She was sent home and muttered some foreign words to Heidi Klum on her way out.


Six down--nine to go. Make it work!

RELATED LINKS:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Tons of television

Good news for those of you going through late-night television withdrawal lately: Leno, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Letterman and Craig Ferguson will all return to air tomorrow night.

But there is still a lot up in the air regarding primetime programming, and some people are worried that the reality TV monster is going to gobble up television as we know it. Sorry folks, but there's not a lot we can do about it, so let's celebrate some of the incredible--that's slightly sarcastic--television slotted to premiere in the next few weeks.

Biggest Loser Couples - NBC - Jan. 1: I've not been a follower of this show in the past, but I watched the premiere tonight and it was moderately entertaining [click here to read more about this season]. Interesting twist on the original. Something that might be left on in the background.

The Celebrity Apprentice - NBC - Jan. 3: I just got into The Apprentice last season, and I'm excited for more Trump time, but this list of celebrities is filled with scrubs. But I'm excited for the shameless product placement to come.

American Gladiators - NBC - Jan. 6: This is going to be incredible. That's all I have to say.

Rock of Love II - VH1 - Jan. 13: I'm a sucker for Bret Michaels and the first season of this show was entirely too addictive. It don't mean nothing but a good time, so please, tune in.

The Gauntlet III - MTV - Jan. 23: It's been way too long since MTV has put out a Real World/Road Rules challenge, so I'm stoked for the new Gauntlet. The cast will again be split into Rookies v. Vets and the characters look like they will not disappoint. Coral is back, baby!!

Let's also look forward to Flavor of Love III (Feb. 11), the continuation of The Hills' season three, Top Chef Chicago, and I guess we can look forward to American Idol's whatever number season it is, beginning Jan. 16. And in a non-reality television sense, we've got Entourage coming in sometime this year and grr, a postponed due to the writer's strike season of 24.

That's a lot of TV.
P.S. I do have a life, seriously.