IHAPPINESS

If you haven't had breakfast yet today--hell, even if you have--head out to IHOP for a free shortstack of hot, fluffy, golden cakes o' perfection for National Pancake Day.

If you visit any IHOP today from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. (dominant timeframe), you will receive three pancakes, free of charge. IHOP just asks that you "consider making a donation to support local children's hospitals through Children's Miracle Network.

During National Pancake Day 2007, IHOP raised $625,000 for children's hospitals. This year, they're looking to raise $750,000.

So much better than the armpit fart

Here's your daily dose of puerile humor. Enjoy!




This guy must have been a joy as a child, walking around the house hand-farting all day.

And Yes, this is real. If you don't believe it, click the user profile and check this guy out on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Please also check out Stayin' Alive, Super Mario Bros. and Walk This Way. Fantastic.

Heart attack ala mode

I actually came across this list about two months ago, but I've been on a health food kick lately and looking at this list and not craving one thing on it makes me feel a little bit better about myself. Check and see how many of the Top 20 Worst Foods in America via Men's Health you've had...

To see the calories, fat, carbs and sodium, click on the links below...IF YOU DARE.

THE WORST:
20. Fast-food chicken meal: McDonald's Chicken Select Premium Strips w/Ranch
19. Drink: Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo'd Power Smoothie
18. Supermarket meal: Pepperidge Farm Roasted Chicken Pot Pie
17. "Healthy" burger: Ruby Tuesday Bella Turkey Burger
16. Mexican entree: Chipotle Mexican Grilled Chicken Burrito
15. Kids' meal: Macaroni Grill Double Macaroni n' Cheese
14. Sandwich: Quizno's Classic Italian
13. Salad: On the Border Grande Taco Salad with Taco Beef
12. Burger: Carls Jr. Double Six Dollard Burger
11. Steak: Lonestar 20-oz T-bone steak
10. Breakfast: Bob Evans Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked & Stuffed Hotcakes
9. Dessert: Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
8. Chinese Entree: Pf Chang's Pork Lo Mein
7. Chicken Entree: Chili's Honey Chipotle Crispers
6. Fish Entree: On the Border XX Fish Tacos
5. Pizza: Uno Chicago Grill Chicago Classic Deep Dish Pizza
4. Pasta: Macaroni Grill Spaghetti and Meatballs With Meat Sauce
3. Nachos: On the Border Stacked Border Nachos
2. Starter: Chili's Awesome Blossom
1. Food in America: Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries w/Ranch Dressing

So... don't eat Chili's, On the Border or Macaroni Grill?

Big bucks, no whammies--err--Grammy --STOP!

According to Nielsen Media Research, last night's Grammy Awards shows was the third lowest rated in history.

I guess I don't feel so bad for being an "entertainment blogger" who had no idea the Grammies were even on last night, haaa. Whoops!

The show brought in17.5 million viewers, edging out 1995's 17.3 million and 2006 17 mill - the show's lowest ratings.

Taking home top honors were Amy Winehouse, Kanye West and Herbie Hancock. For a full list of winners, click here, blah blah blah.

What I really want to bitch about is Kanye West and his gratuitous, ego-filled acceptance speech.


First of all, where does he come off telling the orchestra to stop playing its "get off the damn stage" music? Freaking Jack Nicholson has gotten the music before and taken his cue and the man is second only to Katharine Hepburn for most Academy Awards won. Kanye cries about losing an MTV Video Music Award - he has zero credibility.

And why did the orchestra stop!? Yes, he was talking about his mother and it's a tragedy that she died, but if it mattered that much to him, why didn't he thank her first and foremost? He was rambling on about making the Grammies his "new place of residence," selling records, Nas, and how he deserves to win Album of the Year...'oh, and yeah, let me talk about my mom so people don't start remembering what a conceited prick I am.'

Kanye up there looking like a black, bug-eyed Elton John. His attitude--and his fashion sense--legitimately disgust me.

Any other good Grammy moments from one of the 17.5 million people? I heard Tina Turner and Beyonce together was pretty good. Anyone see the Foo Fighters perform "Pretender"?

Don't tell me to chill

So...it was cold today. -41 degrees - heyyyo!

Let the writers return!

Good news, rerun and reality television haters! The three-month long writer's strike is very close to an end, with writers potentially returning to work this Wednesday.

Writers Guild of America leaders voted today to let its members decide Tuesday if they'd like to ratify a new contract and allow a flood of ink slingers and all other necessary employees to return to work.

According to the guild's summary, the deal provides union jurisdiction over projects created for the Internet based on certain guidelines, sets compensation for streamed, ad-supported programs and increases residuals for downloaded movies and TV programs.

Under the contract, writers would get a maximum $1,200 flat fee for streamed programs in the deal's first two years and then get a percentage of a distributor's gross in year three -- the last point an improvement on the directors deal, which remains at the flat payment rate.

Any projections on which television shows are gonna get the can once the writers return?

Update: RIP Renfro

Actor Brad Renfro, who was found dead last month in his Los Angeles home, died from a drug overdose of heroine and morphine, according to coroner's reports.

The 25-year-old's death was accidental.

Renfro's troubled past with drugs was well-documented. In 2006, he served 10 days in jail after pleading no contest to driving while intoxicated and guilty to attempted possession of heroin from an undercover officer. He was also charged with cocaine and marijuana possession in 1998, and underage drinking and violating the terms of his probation in 2001.

The childhood star played in "The Client," "Sleepers" and "Apt Pupil," to name a few.

RELATED LINKS
RIP Renfro

Hiccup in the plan

It's almost 2:30 a.m. and I cannot freaking sleep because I've had hiccups for like, 35 minutes now. No one's here to try and scare me and I've already tried drinking upside down and holding my breath and counting sheep or whatever the shit you're supposed to do.

This lead me to the story of Charles Osbourne (right), who apparently hiccuped for 68 years straight. WHAT THE $%^. I would probably ask someone to shoot me if this lasted for more than two hours.

The Iowa man was entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for Longest Attack of Hiccups after he his bought started in 1922 and ended in 1991, close to one year before his death. He began hiccuping 40 times a minute, and it later slowed to 20 a minute. I'm sure he wasn't inconvenienced at all.

And a fun fact from the incredibly credible source that is Wikipedia: It has been estimated that Osborne hiccupped 430 million times over the 68 year period. The average human only hiccups about 2,300 times in an average lifetime.

Dessert in a can = no no

I know I've written about the genius of Dr. Pepper's viral marketing campaign, but I finally got my hands on some Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper, and yeah, not so good.

I wasn't expecting much, so the first sip was, "Oh, hey, this isn't so bad. It really actually tastes like chocolate covered cherries." But by the second sip, my thoughts were more like, "Okay, this gets really old, really fast." And also, don't let it go flat. It gets even worse.

They offer a $1.00-off coupon on your next purchase, but even an $0.39 beverage that tastes that bad couldn't rope a bargain shopper like me in.

Sorry to say, but I'm thinking this beverage is going to follow the same broken road as good ole' Pepsi Kona, R.I.P. 1996.

RELATED LINKS
Dessert in a can
Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Thanks, TJS!

Help the children!

I got this information via Facebook event, and I'd like to put the word out for readers to lend a hand - it takes like, three seconds, and it's for a great cause!

Colgate-Palmolive and Starlight Starbright Children’s Foundation have teamed up this year to help children with Sickle Cell Disease and their families cope by providing 'Fun Centers' in hospitals, and St. Christopher's Hospital for Children in Philadelphia is in the running.

I know many readers are not from the Philly area, so I guess you could vote for another hospital if you really wanted to...but if it doesn't make a difference to you, vote for St. Chris' and help the kiddies!

Besides, Philly can't win Super Bowls or World Series or Stanley Cups...(haha, sorry, had to put that in there), you can help them win something!

Click here to vote!

"Mine's gonna be Ferosha Coutura"

WARNING: SPOILERS

Well, we had a week off since the shocking victory of Ricky and the downfall of Victorya, but this week, Project Runway was back with a vengeance.

Tim took the crew on another field trip to reveal the challenge, and at first, it seemed like it was going to be an S&M design challenge with all the moaning and slamming going on behind closed doors. Instead, the doors opened to reveal six feisty W.W.E. Divas, in mid-scripted fight.

They've got one day and $100 to spend on a flashy, spandexy spectacular look that applies to their Diva's persona in the ring, i.e. Sweet P's Diva, Candice, is the "Robe and Reveal," so she must create a robe for Candice to take off and reveal her body - rocket science, I know.

The best part of this episode was the "If I were a W.W.E. Diva, I would be..." conversation that sparked up in the workroom, which would be from where this entry's title originates. While Sweet P's persona would be Spread Eagle (and she'd crush people with her thighs," Chris comes up with the completely unoriginal Wonder Woman - uhh, that's been done before. Christian takes it to the next level--as always--saying he would be Ferosha Coutura and she would spray enemies in the eye with hairspray. Even if Christian doesn't win this season, they should give him his own reality show to document his ferosh-ness in every day situations. I'd watch.

And generally, it's acceptable for a woman to lose an arm wrestling match (sorry ladies, it is), but shame on Sweet P for losing to Christian. Yes he is (arguably) a man, but come on, girl...

The abridged version of the work room - big, scary, buff women being fitted. Sweet P's model wanted all the bells and whistles--we're talking Queen of Gaudy-ville here. And of course, Rami was super sour about the tackiness of the challenge, whaa whaa. Your name isn't Ricky, stop crying.

Chris and his model both discovered their love for leopard print and he sent her out in some sort of half-hoodie, animal-esque look (below, left) that the judges went ape for--this week's winner. Christian went with the 'Leather and Lace' look (below, center), Fleetwood Mac anyone? Chaa, just kidding. And Jillian's look also got some kudos (below, right), but I think it's mostly because her Diva was the hottest. Wait a sec...the entire show is made up of women and gay men, nevermiiind.

At the bottom of the barrel this week were Sweet P, Rami and Ricky. Sweet P was criticized for not giving her model a big enough robe (below, left), but I don't think I bigger robe would have helped that thing, like, really. Rami's design was so incredible hideous, and if I didn't dislike Ricky so much, I'd have wished for him to go home. Seriously. It's ghastly!

And then there was Ricky...

Maybe Ricky didn't get the memo that they were designing for W.W.E. Divas this week, because he sent some sort of tropical bathing suit down the runway, a design that we've so totally seen in like, last year's swimwear line. And with that, the judges FINALLY gave Ricky something to cry about.

10 down--five to go. Make it work!




RELATED LINKS
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9

IT'S A BIG AD

I ganked this off of an unknowing friend's away message the other day after the Super Bowl, obviously inspired by the lackluster showing of commercials this year.

It made me laugh a lot.

Thanks, Conte!

Update: It's a twister

CNN is reporting that 54 people have been killed in tornadoes that swept through four southern states last night.

The trail of death stretched across four states, with four people killed in Alabama, 13 in Arkansas, seven in Kentucky and 30 in Tennessee.

For more, click here.

RELATED LINKS:
It's a twister

Update: Heath Ledger death an accident

Heath Ledger died from an accidental overdose of a number of prescription and over-the-counter drugs found at his apartment, officials said Wednesday.

"Mr. Heath Ledger died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine," the New York City medical examiner's office said in a short statement.

Those drugs in all are painkillers, anti-anxiety pills, sleep aids and antihistamine.

RELATED LINKS:
Update: Heath Ledger's death
BREAKING NEWS: Actor Heath Ledger found dead

It's a twister

I know I tend on the lighthearted side of things, but in wake of the Super Tuesday primaries, a serious disaster took place and may have been overshadowed by the election buzz:

Tornadoes that ripped through Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky and Tennessee have reportedly killed at least 45 people, as of 9 a.m. today. More people are being uncovered as the day goes on, and I'll post an updated number later this evening.

The number of tornadoes that touched down last night is at least 60.

In Jackson, Tenn, a retirement home and the campus of Union University were hit hard, trapping people in buildings and devastating the area.

To read more, click here.

I'll do the details no justice, so take a look at the iReports and news stories from AFP, Associated Press, or try a Google News search.

2008 will be a sexy year

AskMen.com has released its annual Top 99 Women of the Year.

To see the list in its entirety, click here. For the "Jercnotes" version, keep on readin'...

TOP TEN
10. Adriana Lima
9. Marisa Miller
8. Rihanna
7. Jessica Biel
6. Scarlett Johansson
5. Jessica Alba
4. Eva Mendes
3. Kate Beckinsale
2. Alessandra Ambrosio
1. Katherine Heigl

Understandably, the Jessica Alba-Biel powerhouse landed in the top 10, and Lord are we thankful Jessica Simpson has finally fallen off the map.

But they've got three Victoria's Secret models in the top 10, and kudos to them for being hot, but really? Top 10? Mehh, don't know about that.

I'd like to petition for Scarlett Johansson to be moved up on that list, because if ever I had a celebrity girl crush, she's the one (or maybe Blake Lively, who landed at number 99 this year). And Eva Mendes on this list was probably a good idea at the time, but AskMen might be regretting this once her new movie tanks.

I'm not the biggest Katherine Heigl fan, but this woman has had an incredible year. From Grey's Anatomy--which I'm not into but is apparently the television form of crack-- to Knocked Up (awesome movie) and finally to the latest uber-chick flick 27 Dresses, she's got her success in the bag. Good for her.

Thoughts?

My own Consumerist story

My boyfriend and I recently had dinner at a Bennigan's restaurant, which is never really high on the list of dining destinations, but we wanted a change.

On the way in, we saw a sign for the Triple Dare dessert, which features some combination of fried Twinkies and brownies and vanilla ice cream; the tagline on the sign said was something to the effect of punching the Surgeon General in the face [click here for photo and description]. Still, we decided to save room for this artery-clogging confection.

Now, in an effort to eat on the relatively 'lighter' side, I opted for a cup of soup and half a sandwich. "Oh, half a Monte Cristo? Sure, that looks pretty good," I said as I looked at the picture featured on the menu. Yeah, it says it's lightly fried, but I'm looking at the photo (below) and thinking, "Oh, okay, crispy bread."
But what appeared on my plate was the most abhorrent thing I'd ever seen.

The picture to the left is not mine, but boy do I wish I had a camera that day, because even this does not do it justice. When I say the server brought me two triangular lunch meat-filled donuts, that's an understatement. I could barely even pick up the sandwich because its greasy inch-thick fried covering was slipping out of my hands. I understand those pictures on the menu are just a "suggestion" of what you are to be served, but that picture was a boldfaced lie!

When I returned home, I did some research on the sandwich and found that I am in the vast minority of American's who tried the sandwich I now affectionately refer to as coronary on a plate. Nearly everyone in this country freaking loves this sandwich! I couldn't believe it. I felt I needed to expose it for all its dietary detriment.

Anyway, back at the restaurant, I ate about five bites of the sandwich and held off for the Triple Dare, which yes, was much more disgusting than the Monte Cristo, but at least they weren't trying to cover up its fried, chocolatey, Twinkie goodness.

Feeling absolutely awful, I went home and wrote to Bennigan's. I told them the drinks we ordered were phenomenal, and our server was quite pleasant...but that their irresponsibility in menu artwork left me considering a post-meal run around the block to try and "reverse my fortune" of dining at Bennigan's.

The story does not end there, though, because had Bennigan's not written me back, I would have posted this story anyway, encouraging all readers to boycott the restaurant.

Instead, this weekend I received a friendly letter from the corporation, saying they valued me as a customer and would bring up my concerns with management. And while that could be standard protocol for the company, I appreciated the response and the $10 gift card to give them another shot.

So the moral of the story is: If you want to die an early death, order the Monte Cristo sandwich at Bennigan's. And if not, go there anyway - they appreciate their customers. And their drinks (alcoholic and non-) are fan-freaking-tastic.

BAM - Perfect!

I'm sorry. I swear I'll stop talking about the Super Bowl soon, but this commercial is fantastic. I can't believe I missed it.

Best (and worst) of the 'Bowl

*Note: This is the second of two posts regarding the Super Bowl. This is everything but the actual game. For more game coverage, see below!

• Paula Abdul's pre-game performance: No one was more psyched than me to see the "Spellbound" songstress make her comeback, but man oh man...Paula's performance was more of a pantomime than a 'straight up' hit. Lip syncing worse than Britney and moves as bad as, well, Britney on MTV circa six months ago. And what was with the New Years Eve-looking hat? I couldn't have been the only one in American hoping that that weeble-wobble microphone would smack her in the face. [In case you missed it...]

• Paul Brogan's Super Bowl Rap: Soup or bowl? Soup, soup or bowl? This was the greatest part of the pre-game show, in my opinion. This guy is a freaking genius.
  
  

• Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers halftime show: I'm all for the 'Freefallin' and the 'American Girl,' but it's no coincidence that my friends and I spent the length of the halftime show in front of our cooled hors d'oeuvres, discussing tax rates and competitive eating. Every year, the halftime show is but a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more (thanks, Shakes). I'm sure some day, when I'm older, I'll enjoy performances from my childhood heroes -cough Spice Girls cough- but for now I'd rather load up on unnecessary cards for the second half than watch the streamers and strumming.

• Bawk, bawwwk: No one did the Chicken Dance in the end zone, so no-go on KFC's charity promise. Guess they were too chicken to pay the fines.
  

• Celebrity sightings: Perhaps Giants fans should be thanking Gisele Bundchen for the Patriots' choke; it's that Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson curse, praise the Lord! There were more blond bombshells in attendance last night too: We got a glimpse of a somewhat shy Pamela Anderson, who covered her face with straggly, bleached hair. And half the room 'aww'd' at the Jenny McCarthy/Jim Carey shot...and the other half said, 'Wait, what?' Yes, they've been together for a year and half - wake up! And of course, we had Mr. Peyton Manning watching over baby bro. Not gonna lie - as a superstitious Giants fan, I was a bit worried.

• Commercials: Of course. What would the big show be without a collection of exorbitant, over-hyped and underwhelming advertisements? This year, there were several forgettable commercials and a few memorable because they were so terrible (yes, I mean you, hideous girl dabbing Planters nuts on your hot spots). Here's a look at my top three:

• Mice like Doritos--Mickey's revenge.

• Chris Kattan might get sick of Diet Pepsi Max--what is love?

• Donkey Lips makes a comeback better than Paula--ahh, push it!
  

Super Bowl XLII: 'Giant' upset

*Note: This is the first of two posts regarding the Super Bowl. This is just about the game. More about commercials, segments and specials to come tomorrow. Stay tuned!

The result might have been an upset, but Super Bowl XLII was the most perfect I'd ever seen.

The New York Giants tonight beat Tom Brady and the undefeated New England Patriots 17-14 --against all odds--to make history.

"Offense wins games; defense wins championships," and the New York defense held the New England "dynasty" to just one touchdown until the last three minutes of the game. They also sacked, hurried and hit Tom Brady all game, forcing a less-than-perfect showing for the 'untouchable' quarterback and leaving the door open for Eli Manning to step up and lead his team to victory.

"That's a position you want to be in. You can't write a better script." - Eli Manning, Super Bowl XLII MVP

The first three quarters--close as the score was--paled in comparison to the last 15 minutes of the game. I'll do the play-by-play no justice, so check out this write-up, but when biggest Super Bowl upsets are discussed in years to come, no doubt you'll see the Eli "Houdini" Manning escape/insane off-the-helmet combo that came in the middle of a 12-play, 83-yard drive. Or the two consecutive long bombs Tom Brady let loose to Randy Moss that looked like they would be completely devastating to Giants fans (and Pats haters) everywhere. [when videos of the game are posted, I will most definitely be linking to them.]

The fate of the Patriots' perfect season on their shoulders. The pressure on Eli to live up to big bro Peyton and show some emotion. The 11-game on-the-road winning streak. Tom Coughlin's job on the line. The need to prove that the more you underestimate a team, the sweeter the win will be.

My emotions are getting the best of me here as I'm writing about this--almost as much as the teary-eyed Plaxico Burress in his post-game interview. But he doesn't deserve the same ridicule T.O. got a few weeks ago because Burress' presence in the end zone during the last minute of the game sealed the deal tonight.

There is an incredible amount to say about this game. And while it might have made for great bragging rights to say that the Giants blew the Pats out of the water 56-3 tonight, I wouldn't have changed a gut-wrenching, edge-of-my-seat, hands shaking, knot in my stomach moment for all the money in the world.

In the words of my brother, "This one's for Tiki."