I stayed up for Top Chef, yadda yadda yadda, and I'm really tired today

WARNING: SPOILERS

Unfortunately for me, I left the second airing of Project Runway on in the background last night and just as I was about to turn the TV off and drift away into peaceful slumber..."UTENSILS DOWN, HANDS UP!"

Padma??

Yes. Even though Bravo promised the "Top Chef Holiday Special" debut tonight at 9 p.m., it came on at 12 a.m. this morning. Odd how a special whose details were kept so hush hush ended up airing 21 hours before it was intended for the masses...But if you don't want to know who wins (or you could care less about this show) stop reading now!


The competition pitted eight chefs from the last three seasons against each other in one quick-fire round and a three course holiday meal for a smattering of impressive culinary judges. After each course, two chefs will be eliminated until two are left standing at the end of the meal to win $20,000.

Stephen, Tiffani, Josie, Betty, Marcel, Sandee, CJ and Tre ventured out to Chicago and pretended like it was the holiday season (though this was likely shot three months ago) and opened up stockings full of gag gifts to get them in the mood--CJ was given a bundle of broccoli to remind him of the fateful overdone "Bob Marley" broccolini that sent him home last season.
The quickfire challenge was done in "dirty Santa" style, where the first person unwraps an ingredient from under the tree and the next person can either steal that or go for another gift. Betty, Marcel and CJ land in the top three, and CJ ultimately wins immunity for one course of the meal, which is talked about a lot until the actual meal and never really seems to benefit him anyway.

The gang runs out to shop at Whole Foods, and hello marketing campaign. Everyone is raving about the selection of produce, meat, seafood...but I don't think Tre got the memo, because he demeans the greens that another chef scoops up: "I wouldn't use those. They're not...done," he said.

The first round sends Sandee and Stephen back into the kitchen after sub-par plates of watery soup and odd decisions. Betty and Josie are the next to go--overdone and overdone. Marcel and CJ go next, basically because Tiffani and Tre dominated, leaving them one step closer to $20,000.

And then the curve ball. Tre and Tiffani are asked to prepare a on-the-fly dish from whatevers left in the kitchen of their ingredients and the eliminated chefs' stations. Tre conquers his fear of desserts and presents a beautiful raspberry crepe, and Tiffani goes with a leftovers-style puff pastry.

In the end, Tre gets robbed and Tiffani wins the money. I wouldn't say it was my favorite episode of the show ever, but it was nice to get a little taste of it in the fashion reality show season. The special was filmed in Chicago, which they pumped the hell out of--Chicago signs everywhere, filler shots of the city--because the new season is being filmed there: coming in 2008, whoo!

"If I do fringe, it's gonna look like armpit hair"

WARNING: SPOILERS

Though tonight's Project Runway featured no celebrity guest star, I think it posed the most interesting challenge this season (even though that's not saying much [yawn]).

The designers were asked to select from passé fashions--such as baggy sweaters, overalls and shoulder pads--and create a cohesive set of three designs in groups of three with $225 and two days.

Jack, Christian and Kit = best group ever. They selected zoot suit, fringe and pleather (or "Britney Spears on crack," according to the mighty fine Jack). They totally rocked their designs, but then again, would we expect anything but the best from--as Christian said--Team Star, Like Celebrity.

(Left to right: Christian, Jack and Kit's designs)

Ricky, Elisa and Victorya = team disaster. I'll hand it to Ricky for trying to communicate with spacy Elisa, who somehow stayed in the background this episode. And somehow Ricky ended up as team leader, even though Victorya bossed him around the entire episode, but more than likely didn't step up as leader because she didn't want to take the blame for the atrocious set that came out of their neon, cut-outs and underwear as outerwear designs. Bleck!

(left to right: Ricky, Elisa and Victorya's designs)

Then there was team Chris, Sweet P and Steve, or the forgotten team, because no one's designs were more yawn-worthy. Sweet P's was decent as the modern baggy sweater look, and Steven's was just okay, but Lord almighty...Chris, what happened??? (see below)

The winning team turned out to be another problematic team, but unlike Ricky's, these guys pulled it together. Jillian, Kevin and Rami won the challenge for their cohesive set of designs and modern take on overalls and such.
During judging it became quite clear who the bottom two would be: Chris and Ricky. And in the end, the judges made a horrible mistake in sending Chris home. Yes, his outfit was really bad (below), but Chris has 15 times as much personality and talent as Ricky, AND Ricky has been in the bottom two almost every week since the show began! And his stupid conductor's hat has got to go!

The previews for next week look pretty good, and I'm thinking maybe we're going with overweight models? Who knows! What I do know is some extra special spoiler information involving one of my favs, Jack, and his big announcement for next week, but don't click this link if you want to be surprised next week!
Four down--11 to go! Make it work!

RELATED LINKS:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3

Chocolate's 'Reign' over marketing

Hey, remember when I was pumping Dr. Pepper's latest beverage creation? Well apparently a mention on The Jerc Store wasn't a big enough advertising move, so they've turned to the latest trend in advertising and featured Tay Zonday.

...wait, who?

Tay Zonday, better known as the genius behind the viral video "Chocolate Rain," is making an even bigger name (and bank account) for himself by joining up with True Entertainment in the "Cherry Chocolate Rain" video.

The video--which at this point has 1,196,291 views--features Tay and rapper Mista Johnson in an over-the-top spoof on rap music and the original video that made Tay a star. Several scantily clad women and buckets of chocolate pour all over the vertically-challenged, but oddly precious, singer as he croons about "a love that took him by force": the Dr. Pepper soda embodied as an attractive woman.
I think this is pure genius. This won't be the driving force that gets people to like the sode, but this thing is going to be a huge part of getting the word out about this product. And the best part of the whole video is the completely misplaced squirrel toward the end of the video that gets doused in chocolate.

RELATED LINKS:
Dessert in a can

Shooting spree in Omaha mall

A gunman in a Nebraska shopping mall has killed nine people and left three in serious condition, authorities said.

The shootings began just before 2 p.m. at the Von Maur store inside the shopping complex. The gunman used a rifle to fire at least 50 shots, as shoppers fled to dressing rooms and bathrooms and hid in clothes racks. He then fired the gun on himself.

Update 2: (CNN.com) The shooter has been identified as Robert A. Hawkins, about 19 or 20 years old. A suicide note left behind said he did not want to burden people, that he was a piece of shit and now he'd be famous, according to his land lady. She saidhe showed her the rifle he used the night before the shooting, and described Hawkins as a lost puppy nobody wanted. --And this caused no sort of alarm??

I know I don't need to say this, but seriously...what the hell is wrong with people. Seriously. Malls are about shopping sprees, not killing sprees, and adding insult to injury, I'm sure these people were holiday shopping for families that will never see them again. Makes me sick.

Hot for teacher, err, waitress?

The former middle school teacher from Florida who was convicted of having sex with a 14-year-old boy is back in the limelight after having "inappropriate conversation" with a teenage co-worker.

Debra Lafave was on three years house arrest and was only permitted to leave to go to work. She was arrested after corrections officers interviewed a 17-year-old girl who worked at a restaurant where Lafave had been employed since January 2006.

The girl claimed to have had one-on-one and group conversations with Lafave about "non-work related issues such as family problems, friends, high school, personal life, boyfriend issues and sexual issues."

I've gotta agree with her lawyer here--this just seemed like "girl talk"; however, her probation had forbidden any contact with people under the age of 18.

Still, it seems more likely that this girl viewed Lafave as an older sister or peer, I mean, she did have sex with a 14-year-old. And that kid is probably still bragging--she was a pretty hot teacher!

Eight craaaaazy nights

Happy Hanukkah

from The Jerc Store!

Hanukkah--or the Festival of Lights--began last night at sundown, bringing eight crazy nights for Jews across the world. Bring on the latkes and ad nauseum playing of Adam Sandler's "The Hanukkah Song"!

SI honors Fav-ra

Your team may be undefeated, Tom Brady, but you are not Sportsman of the Year, according to Sports Illustrated; Brett Favre is.

The honor is bestowed upon a player who exhibits character, performance and sportsmanship. Favre received a sterling silver trophy crafted by Tiffany & Co. at a party in his honor in New York City tonight, and is featured on the cover of the magazine, on stands Monday.

Favre probably got the award because he's the winningest quarterback and leader in TDs in the NFL, but I'd like to think it's because he's like, 50 years old and still looking good in those tight pants, rarrrr.

God says: Stay within the lines

The New York Roman Catholic Church has introduced a coloring book to help children of the church grasp the concept of creepy clergy men yearning to touch them.

Yes, that's right: coloring and crayons will help to counter the more than 3,000 priests lurking in the pews as they pray.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but the coloring book does feature the image of a guardian angel hovering over an altar boy as a priest creeps in the background--I'm not kidding!

"For safety's sake, a child and an adult shouldn't be alone in a closed room together," the angel counsels from above.

I guess it's a step in the right direction? Or perhaps it's just a distraction so the little boy coloring after Sunday School won't see it coming...

Stand up, comedian

Dave Chappelle has broken his own Laugh Factory endurance record, after telling jokes for six hours and 12 minutes Sunday.

His previous record was six hours and seven minutes, set in Mid-April. Apparently Dave heard Dane Cook--who held the record before Chappelle--was going to attempt to break the record.

But Dane will probably break it by stealing six hours worth of Chappelle's material and throwing in a few cadence-ly challenged jokes at the end. "I'm Dane Cook, biotch!"

Chimps beat chumps

Monkeys may not have the sense to live in the human world (or maybe they're smarter for keeping to themselves), but a new study out of Japan found chimpanzee's to have better cognitive functioning than college students.

Three 5-year-old chimps took on college students in a series of memory tests involving numbers on a touch screen.

In the first test, nine numbers appeared on the screen. When they touched the first number, the other eight turned into white squares. The test was to touch all these squares in the order of the numbers that used to be there. While the chimps were no more accurate than the college kids, they could do the task faster.

In the second test, the best performing chimp was pitted against nine students, but this time, five numbers flashed on the screen only briefly before they were replaced by white squares. The chimp and students both scored 80 percent when the numbers were shown for 7/10s of a second, but when shown for 2/10s of a second, the chimps still scored about 80 percent, while humans scored a lowly 40 percent.

Maybe those college students were just hungover? I think they should get those chimps liquored up and then see how they do.

Thrills in The Hills? I should write for this show...

Now I don't usually do a weekly update of The Hills (mostly because I usually catch a rerun over the weekend), but tonight's episode left me with a lot of interrogative thoughts:

• Why does Spencer want to marry a girl who kind of looks like his sister (Stephanie, right)? Then again, he and his sister looks creepily similar...are Heidi (left) and Specer related? Ooh--that could make a nice scripted twist for next season!

• Why are Heidi and Spencer 21-going on-35? "Don't you dare lea--if you leave, don't come back! SPENCER!" Please...You guys are young and (somewhat) attractive living in Los Angeles! You should be chugging Grey Goose and waking up with some strangers' overly priced designer clothes on!

• Did Brody get some extremely bad haircut just prior to the filming of this episode? Not only did we see him more in this episode than any other this season (now that Lauren decides to fall for him), but his backward black cap was doing nothing but making his head look ungodly square...but I guess that's fitting for his character, eh?

• And finally...now that next week's episode is the season finale, is The Hills production team praying for the end of the writers strike? I mean...how will they create such a horrendous, but terribly addicting script if the strike doesn't end? At least we have a nice rehashing of footage this Sunday during Lauren Looks Back: a 2-hour movie event.

Tortuous owner you have

This dog, ala Daily Costume, made my day.

"Agree with you the council does. Your apprentice Skywalker will be."

Update: MySpace Murder

Updating a previous item:

A Missouri prosecutor said today that no charges would be filed in the case of Megan Meier, the 13-year-old girl who hung herself last year after a MySpace user told her the world would be a better place without her.

It was an 18-year-old girl working for Megan's neighbor who started the "Josh" account.

"There is no way that anybody could know that talking to someone or saying that you're mean to your friends on the Internet would create a substantial risk. It certainly created a potential risk and, unfortunately for the Meiers, that potential became reality. But under the law we just couldn't show that." -- St. Charles County, Missouri, Prosecuting Attorney Jack Banas

Missouri's harassment statute says nothing about the Internet, and the stalking statute requires repeated conversations, so neither would apply in this case, Banas said.

Regardless, he said there is no doubt that parents should have stopped what was going on, and this does not mean that the responsible parties would not avoid punishment.

Cell me something good

Consumer Reports issued its annual survey of cell phone providers and customer satisfaction and found that Verizon and Alltell are among the best.

The magazine surveyed nearly 48,000 consumers and found that 70 percent of Verizon users were completely satisfied with their server, followed closely by T-Mobile. And despite being "the Home of the iPhone," AT&T showed less approval, though not as poor as Sprint, which came in dead last. To read more, click here.

All I know is that approval rating will never break the 90-percentile because cell phone service is horrendous--that's just the way it goes--but we would all fall into disconnect and perish without our texting and unlimited nights and weekends.

Honey, I'm cured!

A new study today showed that honey can help ease a cough.

When compared to the cough syrup ingredient dextromethorphan or no treatment, honey came out on top.

The study tested 105 children seeking treatment of nighttime cough and separated them into three groups: those who took buckwheat honey, those who took a honey-flavored dextromethorphan preparation, and those with no treatment.

Parents were surveyed on the day of the doctor's visit and on the next day, after those in the treatment groups had given their kids honey or dextromethorphan at bedtime. Among the three groups, children given honey had the greatest reduction in cough frequency and severity, and the most improved sleep, as did their parents.

So apparently that old folk remedy actually is effective.

Mother I'd like to FLY

A new ad campaign from Spirit Airlines has peaked the interest of bargain flight shoppers...and potentially hormone-crazed teenage boys.

The M.I.L.F. campaign, or "Many Islands, Low Fares" offers flights as low as $9. And whether you plan on jet setting this holiday season or not, it's quite entertaining to watch the hot, naked woman semblance in the island graphic on their Web site (but watch closely--it zooms out!)

No one's come out and said this was intentional, but how could it not?? Maybe if the acronym was accidental, but if you click the link above, it's plastered across the screen!

Maybe they're just trying to take your attention away from the fact that you'll never actually get a $9 flight on their site because that's absurd.

Update: Loss in football

Updating a previous item:

Four men have been arrested--three of which have been charged--in the murder of Washington Redkins safety Sean Taylor.

Police say they have more than one confession in the case. The suspects' attornies are claiming the men had not entered the home with the intent to kill Taylor; instead, they were expecting to find an empty home and rob the family, but Taylor was inactive in the NFL due to an injury.

All four of the men involved in Taylor's death are under the age of 21. They each face charges of felony first-degree murder, burglary with a firearm and home invasion robbery while armed.

World AIDS Day

Dec. 1 is World AIDS Day. This year's theme is leadership.

According to estimates, there are now 33.2 million people living with HIV, including 2.5 million children. During 2007 some 2.5 million people became newly infected with the virus. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.

To learn more, visit the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website.

Smoothie operator

A married man who had impregnated his on-the-side girlfriend has been charged with causing her two miscarriages by slipping her abortion drugs.

Darshana Patel told authorities she was suspicious after noticing powder on the cup of a smoothie her boyfriend, Manishkumar M. Patel (no relation), gave her. Darshana reportedly stored the smoothie in the fridge, sent the powder to a lab and discovered the substance to be mifepristone, the abortion pill also known as RU-486.

The two began a relationship in 2001 and had a son in 2004. Darshana became pregnant with Manish's child in September of last year - a child he denied was his - but she miscarried two months later. In August of this year, Darshana became pregnant again, but shortly after the shake incident, she suffered another miscarriage.

Manishkumar is charged with attempted first-degree intentional homicide of an unborn child; second-degree reckless endangerment; placing foreign objects in edibles; possession of prescription drugs; stalking; burglary; possession of burglary tools and two counts of violating a restraining order. The burglary charge stems from his allegedly entering the woman's residence while she was out.

So f'd up.

UPDATED: Patel has posted bail, set at $750,000.

Dare-angel

Legendary daredevil Evel Knievel died yesterday at the age of 69.

Amazing how the death of a man who broke almost every bone in his body at least once during his stunts was due to unrelated medical causes. He had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs. He also nearly died from hepatitis C before undergoing a liver transplant in 1999.

Robert Craig Knievel attempted many motorbike stunts during the 1970s. His 1974 attempt (and failure) to jump Idaho's Snake River Canyon was one of the most notable stunts of all time, and his televised ventures accounted for four of the top 20 most-watched ABC's Wide World of Sports events of all time.

"No king or prince has lived a better life. You're looking at a guy who's really done it all. And there are things I wish I had done better, not only for me but for the ones I loved." --Knievel in an Associated Press interview in 2006.

Knievel is survived by 4 children, 10 grandchildren and a great-grandchild.