Sick, sick, sick

I think I have a decent immune system, but I'm pretty sure my body can sense it's Thanksgiving and just collapses every year around this time. Fortunately--well, kind of--my boyfriend is sick too, so we have been sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves the last few days.

During that time, he came across Google's Flu Trends, this nifty little site that shows you how your state compares with others at any given time throughout the year. And if you check it out, you'll notice that the entire country is at "low" risk right now, but we're riiiiight about to hit the national spike in flu sickness - whoo-hoo!

Thanks, TJS!

Cinco in Cinci

Es de verdad - Ocho Cinco is now official on the field.

The Bengals WR formerly known as Chad Johnson is now officially being recognized by the NFL as Chad Ocho Cinco.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Johnson is the second most popular surname (Smith is the first, FYI). And oddly enough, there is not one other person in the world with the Ocho Cinco moniker.

[UPDATE] CNBC's Darren Rovell is reporting that Chad is being forced to buy out the stock of the 100,000 remaining "C. Johnson" jerseys before making the switch to "Ocho Cinco" because the switch took place so close to the beginning of the season. If Reebok asked Ocho Cinco to pay for the cost of making the unsold jerseys, the total could reach upwards of $4 million.

The name -- Spanish for "eight five" -- refers to the star's jersey number 85. He directed media to refer to him as Ocho Cinco two years ago in a very memorable lockerroom interview. Gotta love the Chad...

Phelps v. Ocho

Michael Phelps may be going for eight gold medals in Beijing this year, but that's not the Ocho I'm talking about...

On ESPN's Pardon the Interruption last night, Cincinnati Bengal's wide receiver Chad Johnson gave Wilbon and Kornheiser "five good minutes," which included an outright challenge to the seemingly untouchable Phelps. Check it out below (about 4 minutes in). Apparently we had no idea that Olympic talent is swimming rampant in the inner-cities.



Overall, Chad --otherwise known as Ocho Cinco by way of my favorite interview ever-- seemed pretty subdued during the interview, even during the awkward and heartwarming threat against quarterback Carson Palmer, who was standing behind him. On this morning's Sportscenter, a clip of him at training camp showed that he was being threatened with fines from management to talk to the media.

And while we're on the topic of Chad... Word on the street is that the wide receiver has taken the first steps to officially changing his last name from 'Johnson' to 'Ocho Cinco' to avoid getting improper jersey fines when he wears the incorrect Spanish translation of his number 85 on his back. He's a headcase, but I love him.

Sex obviously sells

Congrats to Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte--

The ladies proved this weekend that sex sells, as the "Sex and the City" movie's opening weekend numbers trumped the opening weekend sales of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

I absolutely refuse to give away any bit of the SATC movie, but two of my girlfriends and I went opening night to see it, and I must say...If you are a woman who's seen even one episode of this show and you still haven't seen the film, what in the name of Manolo Blahnik are you waiting for??

The ladies have obviously aged, but I don't care what Maxim has to say: Sarah Jessica Parker looks stunning in this movie.

And two warnings: If you're a crier at movies, pack your tissues. My friend Jenn and I cried for a good hour of the movie. It's a tad more depressing in parts than you might like. And also, the movie is 2.5 hours long, so go easy on the pre-show martinis.

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll be glad you didn't drag your grudging boyfriend to the film for him to complain about how unrealistic it is to spend $500 on shoes or how unattractive he finds Miranda to be.

Here's the trailer:

Heart attack ala mode

I actually came across this list about two months ago, but I've been on a health food kick lately and looking at this list and not craving one thing on it makes me feel a little bit better about myself. Check and see how many of the Top 20 Worst Foods in America via Men's Health you've had...

To see the calories, fat, carbs and sodium, click on the links below...IF YOU DARE.

THE WORST:
20. Fast-food chicken meal: McDonald's Chicken Select Premium Strips w/Ranch
19. Drink: Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo'd Power Smoothie
18. Supermarket meal: Pepperidge Farm Roasted Chicken Pot Pie
17. "Healthy" burger: Ruby Tuesday Bella Turkey Burger
16. Mexican entree: Chipotle Mexican Grilled Chicken Burrito
15. Kids' meal: Macaroni Grill Double Macaroni n' Cheese
14. Sandwich: Quizno's Classic Italian
13. Salad: On the Border Grande Taco Salad with Taco Beef
12. Burger: Carls Jr. Double Six Dollard Burger
11. Steak: Lonestar 20-oz T-bone steak
10. Breakfast: Bob Evans Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked & Stuffed Hotcakes
9. Dessert: Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
8. Chinese Entree: Pf Chang's Pork Lo Mein
7. Chicken Entree: Chili's Honey Chipotle Crispers
6. Fish Entree: On the Border XX Fish Tacos
5. Pizza: Uno Chicago Grill Chicago Classic Deep Dish Pizza
4. Pasta: Macaroni Grill Spaghetti and Meatballs With Meat Sauce
3. Nachos: On the Border Stacked Border Nachos
2. Starter: Chili's Awesome Blossom
1. Food in America: Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries w/Ranch Dressing

So... don't eat Chili's, On the Border or Macaroni Grill?

Chimp triumphs yet again

Please recall the case of the chimpanzee beating a bunch of college students in memory testing last month.

And if you thought that competition was mismatched--with the chimp easily owning the college kids--this story should prove once and for all that we should fear these animals and their superior cognitive abilities that will someday make us their slaves.

Ayumu the chimp was once again tested, but this time he was pitted against British memory champion Ben Pridmore, a man who can memorize the order of every card in a shuffled deck and memorizes 400-digit numbers on the weekends.

But still, the chimp reigned supreme.

[click here to try your hand at the testing Ayumu, the college students and Pridmore underwent]

The subject watches a computer screen on which numbers flashed up at various positions before being obscured by white squares. The object is to then touch the squares in order of the numbers they concealed, from lowest to highest.

The chimp got it right almost 90 percent of the time. Pidmore, on the other hand, came in with a 33 percent success rate.

Coverage of the testing will appear on a television program in London called "Extraordinary Animals." How embarrassing for Mr. Pidmore that he got beat by the chimp, but more so that he memorizes big numbers for fun.

God's right-hand man?

An Idaho man who believed the biblical "mark of the beast" had appeared on his hand, chopped off the body part and cooked it Saturday, according to the Associated Press.

The mark, or number, of the beast is more commonly known as "666."

The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury."

So the man, who is in his mid-20s, chopped off his hand with a circular saw and put it in the microwave. When authorities arrived, the man was reportedly calm, but they took him to the mental health unit of a local medical center. Couldn't imagine why...

"It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived. He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn't bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad."--Capt. Ben Wolfinger said.

God is great and all, but oh man...this is the second body part cooking story this week!