Lipo-SUCK-tion

I'm severely opposed to plastic surgeries and whatnot (unless it is absolutely life saving), but this story makes me sick: A 12-year-old girl from Texas has undergone a number of surgeries, including liposuction and a lap-band surgery.

Brooke Bates, of Austin, weighed 180 pounds as an 11-year-old. At 12, she carried 220 pounds on her 5'5 frame, at which time her family decided that diet and exercise were not working and they needed to seek medical attention.

And instead of receiving a strict regiment from a nutritionist or dietician, Brooke underwent liposuction--and not gastric bypass because that's too dangerous.

You might be surprised by the numbers, though. Almost 3,000 people under the age of 18 underwent liposuction last year. Disgusting.

Now Brooke weighs 153 pounds and says she feels better because she's lighter and has boyfriends...because that's always validating [click here to watch Brooke's transformation, courtesy of Jezebel]. The twist here is that after gaining back a few pounds, Brooke is not going to have lap-band surgery.

So all you overweight teenagers out there, what have we learned tonight?
Don't worry about exercise, playing outside or being healthy. Eat your garbage food and sit on your butts, playing video games and spending hours on MySpace. There's nothing wrong with teenagers having liposuction (sarcaaaasm!)

We'll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne

Welcome to 2008!

I wish I had some meaningful post for the first of the year, but all I've got are well wishes for everyone in the year ahead.

I also wanted to thank you for the support and for visiting The Jerc Store. Don't forget: You can now access the site by typing "thejercstore.com" in your browser!

In The Jerc Store's inaugural three months, this site has received almost 15,000 hits, with 80 percent of those hits coming in the month of December. It's a nice feeling knowing that you're writing for more than just your own menial entertainment.

Keep coming back daily to check out what's new--part of my New Year's resolution is to double my content, so hopefully I can make good on that one. Keep the comments coming, and remember, I have no way of knowing who posts what unless you post your name, so please don't be shy. And anyone who would like to contribute by guest writing, submitting ideas or linking up blogs, please let me know!

Thanks for visiting--HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!

Throwing your financial future away for a t-shirt

I stumbled across this Consumerist article listing some statistics on young adults and credit card debt, and it brought me back to those days in college where I'd sign up for a credit card just to get a free t-shirt (just like the one below) or chat with the cute frat guys.

...But thank God I never gave them my real information. I'm not sure where exactly these numbers came from, but they sure are pretty grim!

• 56% of all undergraduates report obtaining their first credit card when they were 18
• 83% of all undergraduates in 2001 had at least one credit card.
• The average student has four credit cards.
• College students' balances have gone up 134% in the last decade.
• Three out of five students with credit cards maxed them out during their freshman year.
• 71% of young adult cardholders do not pay their balance off in full each month.
• The average undergraduate credit card balance is $2,169.
• College seniors graduate with an average of $4,000 in credit card debt.

Three out of five students max their cards out during freshman year? Some of these kids don't even know how to make scrambled eggs, but they're given "free money" to piss away on booze and burritos.

I didn't get my first real credit card (not check card) until right after college, and I'm probably a credit card company's worst nightmare: a young adult who doesn't buy anything she couldn't buy with cash, and pays each balance in full, on time, every month. Boy am I glad my parents installed the fear of debt in me at a young age.

SI honors Fav-ra

Your team may be undefeated, Tom Brady, but you are not Sportsman of the Year, according to Sports Illustrated; Brett Favre is.

The honor is bestowed upon a player who exhibits character, performance and sportsmanship. Favre received a sterling silver trophy crafted by Tiffany & Co. at a party in his honor in New York City tonight, and is featured on the cover of the magazine, on stands Monday.

Favre probably got the award because he's the winningest quarterback and leader in TDs in the NFL, but I'd like to think it's because he's like, 50 years old and still looking good in those tight pants, rarrrr.

Cell me something good

Consumer Reports issued its annual survey of cell phone providers and customer satisfaction and found that Verizon and Alltell are among the best.

The magazine surveyed nearly 48,000 consumers and found that 70 percent of Verizon users were completely satisfied with their server, followed closely by T-Mobile. And despite being "the Home of the iPhone," AT&T showed less approval, though not as poor as Sprint, which came in dead last. To read more, click here.

All I know is that approval rating will never break the 90-percentile because cell phone service is horrendous--that's just the way it goes--but we would all fall into disconnect and perish without our texting and unlimited nights and weekends.

Living the average American dream

With all the DUIs, campaigning, paparazzi and sex tape scandals, sometimes it's nice to sit back and say, "Ahh, it's nice to be a good ole average American."

And if you don't ever think that, read this article from Time. It tells of the average averages of average Americans, and while it may be horrifying to find that you may actually be {gasp} average, it's really not what you think.