How do you spell 'hilarity'?

Ahh, the Scripps National Spelling Bee never ceases to provide comedy year after year. And of course, the 2008 round is no exception.

Check out this video. This kid-- Sameer Mishra--handles this moment with style and grace, especially when he realizes that the facilitator is not actually calling him a 'numb nut.'

Sameer, who obviously became a crowd favorite, would go on to win the whole shabang, racking up $40,000

Update: Reality TV brilliance, if there is such a thing...

As previously reported, VH1 is taking their reality television programming to another level with "I Love Money," which pits former "Flavor of Love," "I Love New York" and "Rock of Love" contestants against each other in the quest for money--what they were actually on those shows for in the first place.

Now, the entire cast list has been announced, including:

Flavor of Love: Hoopz, Nibblz, Pumkin, Toasteee,
Rock of Love: Brandi C, Destiney, Heather, Megan, Rodeo,
I Love New York: 12-Pack, Chance, The Entertainer, Heat, Midget Mac, Mr. Boston, Real, Whiteboy


And a long "supertease" trailer has been released. These challenges are off the wall (a spitting contest inspired by Pumkin and some sort of chicken catapult??), the hook-ups look extremely underhanded and entertaining (Heather and 12-Pack, Real and Hoopz) and the 40-year-old Rodeo looks awkwardly out of place amongst the scantily clad youngsters.


video.vh1.com

More mindless television for me to get sucked into. God, I love it. "I Love Money" is set to premiere July 13 (with a casting special slated for July 6).


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Reality TV brilliance, if there is such a thing

"Pork and Beans"

I don't have a lot of time to post, but I've described this video three different times in two days, so I figured I'd post it.

Weezer pays homage to the powerhouse celebrity-maker that is YouTube in their new video for "Pork and Beans." The video was added Friday and already has 3 million views! Viral video much?

Notables in the video include the brainless Miss South Carolina Caitlin Upton ("Everwhere, like, such as the Iraq), Chris Crocker ("LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE"), the Peanut Butter Jelly Time banana, Matt McAllister (the world record setter for most t-shirts worn), Will it Blend?, Numa Numa ("Mayaheee, mayahaha"), Tay Zonday ("Chocolate Rain"), Dramatic Chipmunk (or prairie dog) and Kelly the shoe girl... just to name a few.

Not as good as the old-time Weezer, but it's a catchy song...

Belting and blogging it out with Bret

A big thanks to my co-worker, Geoff, who--after months of listening to me and fellow reporter Stef dish about "Rock of Love II" every Monday morning--informed me that Bret Michaels would be on FOX's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" tonight.

I must also thank (and apologize to) my boyfriend, who graciously let me off the phone when I made mention that Bret Michaels was on TV. With only a slight groan, he managed a sarcastic--yet, understanding--"I know, he's hot," and we said our goodbyes.

And in an effort to squeeze the life out of my love for Bret (and the aggregate 25 minutes of "DFTL" once you subtract commercial time), here is my live blogging of the heavenly occasion.

I missed the first 10 minutes of the episode, but tuned in just in time to see Bret, sporting his favorite rainbow bandana over those luscious locks, belting out some Tom Jones. But wait, why is Wayne Brady singing along with him? Ohhh, that's right. He can't remember that this show is supposed to be about other people...

9:14 - Bret launches into some warm, fuzzy moment about how even after all these years, he is still passionate about what he does. He wants to get some money for kids at St. Jude's. This is a great opportunity. And he aptly selects the "Inspirational Song" category.

9:15 - The screen reveals a battle of titans: Bette v. Barry, and Bret goes with Mr. Manilow. I'd much rather see Bret sing "Copacabana," but hey, can't have it all. He instead croons "Looks like We Made It," and the pathetic women in the audience go nuts when he sings, "I touched you." I shouldn't make fun of them; I'd be doing the same thing.

9:17 - Bret reveals that he has spent months in a tour bus listening to Barry Manilow and Metallica. I think he's kidding...but Barry must be honored.

9:23 - In the "Southern Rock"category, Bret sings some ZZ Top, and those dance moves...a bit awkward, Bret. I hope he moves better than that in the bedroom...for Ambre's sake, of course.

9:25 - Oh hey, another overly dramatic buildup to revealing the correct lyrics--and another commercial, shocking. This is almost as bad as American Idol.

9:29 - In order to reveal the correct lyrics to the ZZ Top song, Wayne directs Bret to sing the last few lines acappella style, baby. But Wayne decides to showboat a little more by unnecessarily harmonizing. Bret succeeds and adds, "Good vibes." Yes, Bret, good vibes indeed.

9:31 - So when the producers think "Rock," they think Meatloaf "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"?? Bret chooses Pat Benetar, but all I can think of is how terrible I am at Guitar Hero.

9:32 - Bret takes one of his lifelines and brings his solo bandmate, Steve, onstage. But not before introducing his other lifeline, long-legged Leah. "We are...old friends," he says, adding in a completely obvious throat clear. Aaaand now he's describing their friendship as a spiritual, romantic relationship that began one night behind his tour bus. Oh. This is awkward.

9:35 - I wonder if everyone (or maybe I should say, 'anyone') in America is loving this is as much as I am.

9:37 - Bret is wondering if he should go with his gut feeling: "I dont want to blow it all right now because I feel good" - oh Bret, talk dirt to me, haaaa. Get it? Get it??

9:42 - Extremely long pause to reveal the fate of the Pat Benetar song...aaand they're right. $100,000. Way to go Steve. Now get off the stage.

9:43 - The Who - Baba O'Reily. Yeah, love this song. Ooh, a little air guitar. Hot.

9:44 - Air guitar quickly followed by 8 blank spaces and some awkward dead air. "Don't cry. Don't raise your eye," it's only $200,000 for sick children, Bret.

9:48 - Surprise, another commercial. It's getting too close to the end of the show. There's no way he's gonna get this.

9:52 - "I'm here for all the right reasons," Bret says. Is that a veiled shot at some of the girls from "Rock of Love"?

9:53 - WOW, he got it. Moving on to the "Hair Band" category... Nine missing words for Quiet Riot's "Come On Feel the Noise." Does anyone else remember when this song was in Ore-Ida french fry commercial?

9:54 - So, Wayne Brady--seriously, can you stop singing along? He's harmonizing and it's clearly not working. And completely throwing Bret off his game.


9:55 - Can we say anticlimactic? Bret doesn't even venture a guess at the blank spots and cashes out at $200,000--split between Juvenile Diabetes Fund and St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Whatta guy. 9:56 - Wayne calls Bret's friends back on stage, and Bret clearly pushes Steve out of the way to put his arm around Leah. Shafted. Watch out, Ambre.

9:57 - Oh, by the way, let's reveals the lyrics that no one in the venue knew. At least Kevin DuBrow isn't alive for this...? No? Too soon? Okay, sorry.

9:58 - On a happier note, Bret's going to debut a song from his solo album? I am so totally running to iTunes when this is over to download it. Yeah, I'm a huge sucker.

9:58:30 - Oh God, I ALREADY OWN IT. ahahahaha <---that was my completely genuine reaction, btw.

'Weight' and see who's in the final three

I need another reality show addiction like a hole in the head, but add The Biggest Loser Couples to the 'completely obsessed' column.

I've been following this show only since this season began, but the interesting format (which had contestants arrive on the weight loss campus in pairs and lose the weight together) and the fact that Tuesday is one of the only nights I'm able to watch primetime television got me hooked.

For the first time in Biggest Loser history, a woman (Ali, formerly of the pink team) lost the most percentage body weight on campus. Fellow female finalist, Kelly, joined Ali above "the yellow line" last night, leaving 'heavy hitter' Roger and Boston-boy Mark (aka "Mahhhk") up for elimination.

Amidst a season so full of twists and turns the writers probably lost weight, producers threw in one last snafu seconds after the final weigh-in: The contestants would not be voting off the last person--America would.

ROGER



MARK

If you care at all, you can click here to vote for which man will join Ali and Kelly to compete for $250,000 during Tuesday's live finale.

If you'd like to see a woman win for the first time in the show's history, it would probably be in your best interest to vote for Mark, even if you hate him, because Roger is the clear cut frontrunner should America choose him to stay in the competition. And if you're sick of seeing Mark cry...well, too bad, because he'll probably cry if he gets the book. Or moves on. Or his brother comes on stage. Or they go to commercial.

Apparently, the trainers were a little pissed about this change in format. [click here to read what Jillian had to say]

I must say, of all the terrible reality television shows that I watch and cannot legitimately defend, this one is actually worthwhile. Look at how incredible those transformations are...

Reagle Beagle

Congratulations to Uno, the 3-year-old Beagle who won the Westminter Kennel Club Best in Show, the breed's first ever title in the show's 131 previous editions.


Personally, I was rooting for the Australian Shepherd. That dog was gorgeous. Her, or the Weimaraner.



Uno won the hound group (the first time the breed has done that since 1939), and then moved on to win Best in Show. Good for the Uno, though. He was clearly the under dog, no pun intended.

Writers won't strike against Taco Bell

So now in addition to the World Series free taco, the Stephen Colbert presidential endorsement and the Chicken Dance football bet, Yum! Brands Inc. has offered up yet another current event-inspired marketing ploy.

This time, Taco Bell is asking striking writers to consider writing the material for they clever (but sometimes creepy) sauce packets.

Some highlights of the saucy sayings: "If you throw this, would it be a flying saucer?" and "Use your stomach, nacho mind." [click here for a comprehensive and illustrative list]

Ten winners --who must be members of the Writer's Guild of America-- will be selected and receive a year's supply of free Taco Bell (up to $260)."

The writer's strike is now in its second month, and Taco Bell wanted to show its support for the thousands of creative minds itching to press pen to paper, or in our case, Border Sauce packets." - David Ovens, Chief Marketing Officer, Taco Bell.

Some of those packet lines are great, and personally, I'd love to have the opportunity to write for them. That would make my life much more complete than my current full-time writing position (not kidding), but sadly, the WGA has not extended an invitation to me just yet.

And just as an added bonus feature, if you visit this site, you can dress the sauce packet, and it actually responds with sayings to what you dress it in. It's some fun times, seriously!

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Yo quiero free taco
President of Poultry
Don't be chicken, bawk-bawk-bakawwk!